I passed out from the amount of obvious jokes that instantly rushed to my brain. Therefore, I will just let you list them for me in your comments. Have fun.
128 Comments | In: Random, Texas
So I guess anyone can join?
September 25th, 2010
Searching for that last 5 pound bag of No Fat potatoe chips
that’s a really big team!
September 27th, 2010
I’m guessing whoever they’re looking for is in her butt crack?
September 28th, 2010
EVERYTHING is bigger in Texas
September 29th, 2010
I’m searching for my Slider…Oh, there it is in the folds of my gunt!
October 11th, 2010
Call off the search boys, i found her.
October 12th, 2010
Only thing shes searching for the the Snack section !
October 18th, 2010
Willy the Pimp
I’m sorry, BemidjiJack . By “GUNT” did you mean to blend the words “gut” and “c*nt”?
If so, I applaude you.
They moved the pork rinds and none of the employees know where!
October 19th, 2010
The wall of “Gain” boxes on her right is what really makes this photo for me.
October 21st, 2010
looks like she ATE the search team
Barf. Leave me lost!
October 23rd, 2010
keepin' it real
i’m over here…..no this way……….no over here. Are you tired of searching cause I’m tired of hiding…in plain sight!
Where’s the Magic Bus Lady when you need her?
October 25th, 2010
Whoa! So if I join the “Search TEAM” do i get one of those awesome mobile carts?
October 27th, 2010
Remember that man miles away in the wilderness with his arm trapped under a boulder, well imagine the cel phone call”
Man to wife: ‘God my arm is killing me….Did you contact the search team? when will they get here?
Wife: They dispached big Mary, she is already on her scooter, heading your way. She just needed to swing by Wal Mart for snacks
Man: You know what maybe I should just cut my effing arm off
Wife: Probably a good idea
Ehhh…. no thanks, I’ll stay lost
October 30th, 2010
911 call: Help, we’ve got a family of donuts lost in the freezer section! Please send your best!
November 3rd, 2010
what….no trailer for supplies?
November 4th, 2010
Can someone direct me to auto parts I need to get some fix a flat.
She’s searching for the bastard who bought the last Butterfingers
November 8th, 2010
I would hate haveing them come find me…i would be dead before they got there…
November 9th, 2010
The rescue team is hiding under her coat.
November 14th, 2010
Feel free to search her folds.
When she finds the pizza rolls the search is over.
She definitely is NOT looking for slim fast.
Maybe she is looking for somone to search HER.
Is there even enough detergent in that aisle to wash what she’s got on?
It sure would’nt take an entire search team to find HER. In fact, even if she was in another aisle I could STILL see her.
She has a hard enough time searching for her feet when she puts her shoes on, how is she going to find me?
Would she float, or sink?
No need for body armor, that fat would stop any bullet.
They will soon need a search team to find that scooter she is riding. Any volunteers?
The Walmart team could not hear her request over the sound of the scooter motor……………..as she passed by the Gain and blew up like a blimp. Now she is headed for aisle 12 for a Wide Load sign, just to make it back out to the parking lot!
November 16th, 2010
Lets just say after seeing this im ashamed of living in Texas….
Her method is she sniffs them out… but she can only find them if she gets a treat.
November 19th, 2010
This thing only goes up to 5mph! Slow down so I can catch up!
November 20th, 2010
Wow. I bet she can search like 3 isles before she runs out of breath with that thing! Wonder how she gets around when she’s not at the grocery store.
November 23rd, 2010
Noting she is in the cleaning aisle…Maybe searching for The Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Wand so she can wipe her @ss?
November 28th, 2010
Searching for the engineer that make that scooter–he’s a real genius!
December 2nd, 2010
she is searching for the battery charger for the scooter, only makes it up one isle b4 it dies again!!
December 5th, 2010
what is she searching for….food?
December 6th, 2010
what is she searching for…food??
i think the scooter is the one that deserves a treat
I’ll be damned, they finally found Paul Blart’s Mom.
December 9th, 2010
“Rollbacks in the Cream Puff aisle? I’m on it!!”
December 12th, 2010
for the love of god dont get lost!!!
December 20th, 2010
search completed, I found the team and ate them all…. burrrrp!!!
December 21st, 2010
she is the mobile helo-pad
December 29th, 2010
Ssshh people… let her sniff out the truffles so the search can be over
December 30th, 2010
Okay, the chocolate is in her fat rolls. Can we call off the search yet? More snacks are getting lost as we speak…
December 31st, 2010
Okay! The cheese curls are in her fat roll! Can we call off the search yet? More snacks are being lost as we speak. Oops, there went the donuts. Darn.
She’s on the Urban search and rescue team, they simply pull her coat off and use it as a R.I.T. drag bag or body bags for the “Less Fluffy” Americans
January 1st, 2011
Searching for WHAT exactly? A 10 lb. ham?
January 4th, 2011
If your searching for your Hovaround it disappeared into your a$$.
January 8th, 2011
Baha Raptor– you just gave me a hernia! I am in tears from laughing reading yalls responses anyway and yours just sent me over the edge!! Thank you so much!!!
January 10th, 2011
Whose gonna get lost anywhere you can drive a huv-a-round?
January 12th, 2011
This woman is curently in jail because she tryed to pass the US line with 300 pound of crack! XD
January 16th, 2011
If your searching for the twinkies, they’re in isle 4…
January 21st, 2011
The search for her feet continues……
In other words you didn’t have any good captions.
January 23rd, 2011
That must be the 2 hardest working things in USA.
1. The Hardest working organs
2. The Hardest working riding scooter at Wal-Mart.
January 26th, 2011
your screwed if you don’t have a twinkie in your pocket she will never find you.
We lost are search team tent, anyone seen it?
i wanna go to wal-mart now
February 1st, 2011
Haha, Texas, of course. Land of the lard-asses.
you guys are sooo meann….
February 4th, 2011
so im guessing this is the reason why my grandmother has to walk around walmart with bad legs… its because people are to fat to walk on their own legs!
February 5th, 2011
Search “Terribly Enormous Ass Movers” “Beep- Beep- Beep!! Look out she’s backing up!!
February 18th, 2011
After 7 days of looking, the search team was ready to give up looking for Mary Smith. They found her nearly starved to death near a cave on the east end of the river front. Mary had already resorted to cannibalism and eaten her two children. Experts say it was the taste of human blood that drove her to finish off the entire 15 person search party. After therapy and a stern reprimand, she now wears the search team jacket in memory of their sacrifice
February 19th, 2011
Out of the way lady I’m looking for the Tiddy Bowel Man.
February 23rd, 2011
well not everything in texas is bad, eric G :/ thank you very much :/
March 1st, 2011
oh god, i wouldn’t want her to find me!!
March 14th, 2011
Probably “Search Team” is an order. I guess you can find it inside of her digestive system. But I don´t want to prove it.
At first I thought that was a real employee….O_o
March 26th, 2011
well if its a search party, im guessing he got lost somewhere in the many hills of hugetopolis!!!
March 28th, 2011
Setting: in a Walmart in a lonely Texas Border town.
Woop .. Woop! Pull over to the left aisle!! I’m with customs and must search your cart for illegal aliens … and Oreo cakesters.
March 30th, 2011
Woop .. Woop! Pull over to the left aisle!! I’m with customs and must search your cart for illegal aliens … and Greasy Meat and Candy.
Searching for the Buffet Line!
April 14th, 2011
she gave up her search a LONG time ago. for a husband that is! enjoy the shopping network for the rest of your days!
May 2nd, 2011
searching for the snacks
May 5th, 2011
searching for the fat men
ummm hopefully that scooter has enough horse power to haul her big ass, not to mention i hope its on turtle speed could you imagine her on the rabbit speed as a toddler or young child walked in front of her…..dear god that would be the death of the child
May 16th, 2011
Only the fittest get to join the search team.
May 31st, 2011
it’s sad that it’s not pc to pick on someone’s race or their sexual preference but u can still make fun of fat ppl
June 1st, 2011
I am glad you can even do a Search at the Grand Canyon!
June 2nd, 2011
it looks like the whole team is in the jacket
June 6th, 2011
looks like the whole team hangs out in one jacket
She’s searching for that skinny girl that’s in there somewhere…the one she (maybe) used to be. To that I say, you’re doing it wrong.
This is so funny because she’s fat, like so fat; so fat, she needs a scooter.
June 10th, 2011
SEEK & DESTROY
June 11th, 2011
What she is searching for is her neck
June 12th, 2011
She’s searching for her bucket!
June 15th, 2011
SHE NEEDS TO SEARCH FOR “JENNY”.
June 16th, 2011
Yeah searchin for snacks
June 17th, 2011
shes searching for her 120 pound qtmeal cream pie in her fing fat roll under her b**bs
June 18th, 2011
Am I the only one who noticed she is next to the Gain? Possible?
June 22nd, 2011
Sign posted at walmart in case you get lost
Emergency procedures In the event of being lose
1. Please open and split emergency signal twinky and we will be on our way
2. Please do not hide in the fitness section, or diet food isle you will not be found
June 30th, 2011
da na na na na na na na na na na Search Team!
July 8th, 2011
She needs to search for the weight limit on that scooter!
July 10th, 2011
“I’ll teach them to never lay a hang on my butterfinger!”
July 12th, 2011
So…we need to have 37 lbs. of McDonalds on us if we get lost or the rescue team just won’t bother?
July 25th, 2011
open box of twinkies on aisle 9. i repeat, open box of twinkies on aisle 9.
So good that she can sniff out a Twinkie like no one else!
July 26th, 2011
Is that what she had for breakfast?
July 27th, 2011
watcha lookin at?
August 4th, 2011
How did a beached whale get inside of walmart?
August 6th, 2011
That Scooter has to be custom made. No way in Hell can those little wheels tow such a heavy object. Wouldn’t you think walking would be better for this fat bytch? I wonder what size her jacket is? She should have a sign on her back that says a billion Twinkies later.
August 7th, 2011
How far back did the cameraman have to stand to get this THINGYMAJICK in the picture
Shes searching for the Lost twinkies! Oh wait, wait a second……….a worker just pointed her outside to the wide load sign………..aw crap. the twinkies might die now! well, they were gonna die anyway…due to the fact that she was gonna eat them alive.
August 24th, 2011
She said she was looking for her son, but they told her the whale exhibit is not in walmart
September 9th, 2011
“Please move people! Search Team coming through. Please move Ma’am, okay can you scoot over any more? Okay, that’ll work…uuuuuuuuugh! Excuse me.”
September 15th, 2011
Sooo i think she is the whole team i assume.
September 20th, 2011
I figured it out!! She ate the WHOLE search team that was looking for the scooter that is hidden beneath the JELLY!!!
September 24th, 2011
ummmm in the laundry detergent section……are we searching for skid mark remover or soap to remove a crt from a bad spot or………in any case……wheres the wide load signs??
September 25th, 2011
I think we’ve found where they buried Jimmy Hoffa.
September 27th, 2011
My guess is she ate everything on the snack and food aisles. Now she’s looking for toilet paper (probably two-plied) and that comfort wipe wand/stick to help reach her ass for when she has to go poopy.
October 1st, 2011
tell the search boys i found the lady in the scooter that stole the jacket!
October 2nd, 2011
There’s a half-eaten jelly donut out there somewhere…and by-God…If it’s the last thing I do (and it might be), It’s comming home to mamma. “Let’s roll boys!”
October 16th, 2011
She’s on a sea food diet, she’s sees food and eats it.
October 18th, 2011
the search for Spock ended in her fourth stomach.
October 24th, 2011
i wonder how long it took her to search for a scooter that would hold her weight
October 25th, 2011
…”and I stole this jacket the second time they had to hoist me out the tub”
October 27th, 2011
She’s been searching for her hubby for 3 weeks and she doesn’t realize he’s stuck in her cunny!
November 12th, 2011
Hmmm, Let’s think for a moment….. how the hell is that big huge fatty gonna find that poor poor small missing person?????
I mean her fat would get in the way!!
Don’t you agree!??!?!?
November 17th, 2011
This is the dawning of a new era. The “Valkyrie” Scooter SAR team is determined to replace SAR helicopters in 10 years time.
November 24th, 2011
I’ve been lost for more that 48 hours and food is running out. It’s cold on this mountain, but I know the “rescue team” will be here soon!
December 2nd, 2011