Maybe it’s the snow or maybe it’s because it’s been awhile since we at PoWM have seen a pair of jorts jammed up so high that breathing becomes a challenge, but spring needs to get here soon!
Wait, you will spend the 25 minutes checking yourself out here, but not the 25 seconds checking yourself out in a mirror at home? Oh the irony of “self checkout” rears it’s ugly head again.
Fun fact: The baby at issue in Roe v. Wade was actually born a few months into trial and was about 3 years old when the decision came down from the Supreme Court….I’m sure that was a fun convo! Roe also had 3 more kids. Okay, now have fun yelling at each other about abortion. I’m leaving.
This was a long time ago, before the invention of the Super Walmart. Me and a buddy were in the shoe aisle looking at some hiking boots. All of a sudden, a nice gentleman came up to us and asked if we could verify what he was seeing. We proceed around the corner of the aisle and get the most disturbing image I had ever seen at that point of my life. Standing before us, was a large, mid-40s, black woman wearing a shiny silver pleather miniskirt that was several sizes too small, an almost see-through white blouse, and what I thought was a black belt. Unfortunately, the black belt was actually a fat roll that was protruding over the skirt. Throw in dragon lady fingernail, gold teeth, and a really bad weave, and you got a WalCreature of epic proportions. That particular scene was bad, but what made it far worse was that she was looking at some rather skimpy, see-through lingerie and was making comments about how she was going to surprise her boyfriend tonight with it.
My friend and I quickly proceeded to the hardware section to purchase a soldering gun to burn out our retinas.