Well it’s time for another enthralling installment of “Who Wears It Better?”. Today’s contestants enjoy the low maintenance and cooling effects of being bald with the party/creepy molestation vibe of the ponytail. So who ya got, old pony or mullet pony?
I was working the express lane one day when I had my last dealing with Scary Sherrie. She was this woman that would come in, ride a cart around, make all sorts of weird requests, try to use expired coupons and other store’s ads that were outdated to price match. She always had food stamps, and this was before we went to the EBT cards here. So you could buy, say $11.01 in food, pay with $12 in stamps and get $0.99 in actual cash back. She bought her food, paid with the stamps. She had 99 cents due to her, but had 99 cent dog treats to pay for. The change covered those, but she still had to cough up six cents for the tax. She didn’t have one cent on her, and there were no other customers around (they will usually throw out a small amount of change in situations like this). I told her I needed the six cents, or she couldn’t have the treats. She rolled out to her car to check for some change, but came back and told me she didn’t have any. I told her sorry. I took the treats off, and gave her the 99 cents. She looked at me, and said now that she had some change, she’d like the treats now. I tried to explain that yes, she had some change, but was still six cents short. She left, but I don’t think she understood why she couldn’t buy the treats. I’m not usually a stickler over a few cents, but it felt good to get technical with a customer that was always throwing technicalities in your face and trying to always get away with something.
I used to be a customer service manager at Walmart. There were a lot of people that would come in and use the electric carts and try to take off without paying for their stuff. Well there was one woman who took it to the next level by sitting on the stuff she was trying to steal. She was a large woman. When she went through the doors and the alarm went off, the door greeter stopped her and asked her to get up. She proceded to urinate on the items she had stashed under her butt.
She was arrested.
You may say he is compensating for the lack of hair on his head. I would say he is awesome and I’m pretty confident he can pick up Skittles with that thing. We both might be right, but my point is cooler.