Ah yes, the backless hooded sweatshirt! Those are almost as rare as bottomless shoes…almost…
“I want a watch that sparkles, yet really accentuates the pink in these shoes. A man hardly ever gets noticed anymore!”
I was helping my mom shop a couple years ago. Her cart was full, and as we loaded items onto the line to check out, a coffee mug fell out and shattered onto the floor. I began to pick up the pieces, and noticed my foot was pouring the blood. Somehow, a piece of the mug sliced my foot open. I politely asked the cashier for some paper towels. She said she didn’t have any. So, as the floor began to turn red, I asked her to get some because I was bleeding. She told me again that she didn’t have any. By this point, I had the attention of everyone else… including a manager. By some miracle, when the manager demanded paper towels, the cashier reaches down, grabs a roll the size of my leg, and hands them to me…… I don’t think I have ever wanted to slap anyone more in my life. I still have a scar from that day. If it happens again, I will walk through the store, blood trail and all, and get my own stupid paper towels.
My boyfriend and I pulled into a Walmart parking lot one night and found the perfect parking spot. We got out of the car to realize that something wasn’t right. What’s that on the car we parked next to? Is that…shit smeared all over the windows? After checking the note taped onto the back window that read, “Poop Poop Poopy”, we realized that is was indeed shit. Time to move the car.