Listen space cowgirl, I think even in space where there is no gravity those wooden boots would be heavy as hell.
I see she is dressed for the new craze of “trailer jogging”! It’s like an obstacle course when you have to jump broken down fences, avoid cars on blocks, and escape pitbulls! Works up quite a sweat.
While shopping at Wal-Mart during the worst shopping day of the year (Black Friday) almost 2 years ago, my wife and I were walking to the electronics to see if they had a few of the Xbox 360 games and SD memory cards that were on sale left to sell. I had decided to try and swim through the sea of Wal-Creatures (too many to count, I thought I was in a circus!) while leaving my wife in an area with less people (since we had our son with us and he was only 5 months old and we were unable to get a baby-sitter)when I finally get stuck and have to wait until some people clear out of the way.
This is when I notice that there is an old lady, probably in her late 70’s or early 80’s, wearing a rediculously large fur coat. Not entirely surprising, except for the fact that she had nothing in her cart. Not even a sale’s ad. Intrigued, I watch for a moment as she then begins to look around as though she was doing something suspicious, and I was rewarded a few moments later with a startling show.
She slowly pushed her cart out of the way and squeezed herself through the people until she reached a rather large woman’s cart full of clothes, toys, games, and a 32″ tv and start to walk off with it while the fat lady was arguing with a clerk about the price of some video game. I stood in utter amazement as the tiny, fur wearing gremlin made it probably 30 feet before the large ogre of a women realized that her cart was missing and thundered after the old lady! I watched the exchange of curses as the old lady said that it was HER cart to begin with and the fat lady was calling her “an old senile bitch”.
How the whole thing stopped, you wonder? The fat lady pulled out the largest pair of skivvies I had ever seen and said quite loudly “If this is your cart then why the f*@$ would you be buying these?!”
The old lady didn’t skip a beat with her response, said straight faced “They’re for my nephew who’s a drag queen.”
After hearing that, I busted out laughing and headed back to my wife.
While working one night I was walking towards the back of the store when I happened upon a couple of streaks on the floor. I didn’t think anything of a few dark scuff marks until I stepped on one and slipped. Then the smell hit me.
I glanced down at what I thought had just been marks on the floor, it was poop. I looked around for the source of the mystery poo and saw that a couple more feet down the isle was a long streak of poo, going at least 50 ft. I followed the poo trail and discovered a woman standing by a cart with a baby in it, and on the bottom of her cart was a dirty diaper wedged in the wheel. It turns out she changed her baby, threw the diaper on the floor and then proceded to run it over and not give a sh*t (no pun intended) that she was dragging last night’s dinner of mashed peas and Cheetos all over the store. I got the manager, he dealt with the woman and then asked me to clean it up, since I was already covered in it. No way.