We couldn’t afford Kevin James for our rendition of Zookeeper, so we hired this guy to dress the part and slap a tarantula on the back of his head. I can already tell you which one will be more entertaining to watch.
WHO THE F*CK BAKES COOKIES IN THEIR CAR?!?!
I was working the cash register during a late night shift when this drunk fella stumbled up to my line. I greeted him and the only thing that he said to me was “Whatever you do, don’t squish my bread.” He said this to me multiple times. He gathered his two bags of groceries, proceeded to snag his shirt on the corner the counter, tripped, and smashed his bread.
I tried to hold back a laugh but was just too good to pass up.