That mustached smile screams “Yeah, you’re looking & I’m gonna be hittin’ that!” However, I think he is quite overestimating the level upon where we rank bleached blondes with itty bitty bottom biscuits on our “wanna sleep with” chart.
I didn’t know our little site caused people to take such drastic precautions. Unfortunately for you, our minions of fans/amateur paparazzi don’t really give a shit about the word ‘please’!
Back in 2005 a friend and myself decided to go grab some food at a local shopping complex that just happened to have a Walmart in it. We ordered our food and since there was a line it would take about 15 minutes. We decided to go check out the video games at the Walmart to pass the time.
We were cutting through the toy section to get to the video games we noticed two long brown steaks that looked like someone ran a cart through something. Already we both feared the worst as this was Walmart. Upon following the trail we found two shit filled diapers, the first mashed into oblivion on the floor with shit smeared all over the aisle and the second stuffed behind some toys on the shelf. The shelf bomb had the poo coming out the sides and the toys it was hidden behind clearly had adult shit-fingerprints on them. Both me and my buddy let out a long disgusted “ewwwww” before we started to dry heave.
Both my friend and I started to laugh at the vile display we saw and on our way out told one of the managers of our discovery. The manager looked at me blankly and after a pause said she would have someone take care of it. As we left the store we saw a gargantuan (female?) and her husband walking out with two shopping carts filled with junk and food and two (about) 5 year old boys coming out. My buddy pointed at there cart and started laughing as we both saw the shit from the aisle all over the part of the cart where the kids were…the father also seemed to notice he had some on his shoes, he proceeded to wipe it off on someones brand new Mini-cooper as he walked by it and continue on his way.
My friend and I got our food and after about half an hour of trying to eat we decided we really weren’t that hungry anymore. Curiosity got the better of us and we decided to venture back into the Walmart to see if the brown bombs had been taken care of….low and behold they had not…45 minutes later and the manager and employees had seen fit to let the excrement fester on the floor. How wonderful.