Oh hell ya! I was curious as to what the Pigeon Lady from Home Alone 2 was up to….well, other than hanging out with pigeons obviously.
I received a Wal-mart gift certificate from my Aunt, and decided to hit up the electronics section of the store for a movie. While browsing the selection, an African-american man (who looked to be in his forties) was following me around, and giving me flirtatious glances that were kind of creeping me out.
If I were in a bar that’s one thing, but I’m not accustomed to having strangers be so forward at a supermarket.
I couldn’t believe it when he looked me in the eye, smiled, and said: “You look amazing. You really do, and it must be so exhausting for you.” For a second, I didn’t know what he meant. His eyes turned down my body to my midriff, and he asked “Girl…you pregnant?”
A million thoughts swirled through my head, but I maintained my composure to spare him from embarrassment, and replied, “Yes! Two months, how can you tell?”
With that reply, I felt so mortified I walked into the bathroom(which was empty) and inspected my midsection in the mirror. Did my stomach really protrude that much? Hell no. I am 5’7”, and weigh 120lbs. I was wearing jeans and tanktop. I did NOT look pregnant, and have never had a comment like that in my life. So rude! What if I had miscarried? Just had a child? What if I was struggling with an eating disorder and the question triggered fears I was fat? People should never ask that. Feeling disgusted, I went straight home.
Ha! It’s like a Gary Larson Far Side comic come to life! Anyway, I’m feeling quite simple today so I’d appreciate it if you guys captioned this little live-action comic strip for me. AMUSE ME PUPPETS! DANCE FOR YOUR DOLLAR AND AMUSE ME FOR MY LOVE!!!!
Just hanging out catching some rays before they are all gone. I get it. I mean, I wouldn’t be in a Walmart parking lot giving myself grill marks by tanning in a cart, but I get it.