Pffft, who needs the Olympics in London? Here in Murrica our summer games are the Beer Olympics and this guy is the Michael Phelps of rockin’ out!
The other day, I went to Walmart with my mom and my brother. I was walking down the shampoo aisle only to see an overweight redneck with the entire package. Overweight, missing teeth, riding a power chair, even wearing a wolf-howling-at-the-moon shirt. The best part was I saw her applying some deodorant. Apparently she didnt like it, and put it back on the shelf. NEVER buy deodorant from Walmart. Ever.
Let this be a message to all you young ladies out there that don’t think about what happens to those cute little tattoos you get when you are 18 and think it makes your lower back look sexy. Yo shit is gonna sag and make people want to run in the other direction when that once cutesie little butterfly now has sun spots and a busted wing because your back titties are pulling it down.
Damn! This contest of Who Wears It Better: Flash Mob Edition is gonna be a tighter race than Lochte-Phelps in the 400-meter individual medley!…What’s that? That wasn’t a close finish? Really? But all the hype….oh well, you know what I was getting at.
South Carolina & Utah