Looks like we got ourselves a couple of sneaky snakes around here. Damn you two are hella cool. Oh, my bad I mistyped that. What I meant to say is you two are hella f*cking weird and I’d appreciate if you kept your distance.
Alabama & North Carolina
Oconee County authorities charged a Bogart man and woman causing a disturbance Tuesday inside Walmart on Epps Bridge Parkway with animal cruelty after a deputy found a pet bulldog tied up in their hot car.
Deputies were called to the store about 12:30 p.m. At the scene, 32-year-old Heidi Klingelsmith was standing outside the men’s restroom yelling at her fiancee, who was inside, according to an incident report.
Walmart employees wanted the pair escorted out of the store and both Klingelsmith and David Jonathan Wood, 42, admitted they had taken prescriptions medications. Wood wanted nothing to do with the woman, but she kept yelling and demanding to see him, even after they were led outside the store, according to the report.
The deputy, who told the pair they would have to call for a ride because they could not safely operate a vehicle, looked in their car and saw an English bulldog named Buddy in the floorboard with a rope tied around him. Buddy couldn’t move, the deputy said.
The deputy cut the rope leashing the dog, who was heavily panting, and later released it to an officer with the county’s animal control unit.
When the woman persisted with being disorderly, she was charged with public drunkenness and taken to jail while the man was allowed to wait for a ride. However, deputies were called back to the store within minutes because Wood was lying on the sidewalk at the main entrance asking people for money, according to the report.
Wood was also charged with public drunkenness and the deputy filed animal cruelty charges against both.
Ain’t nothing better than a sexy whale tale, am I right guys? No? No I’m not right? But what if that whale tail is permanently tattooed on you? Still nothing? Wow, tough crowd to please. I bet if it was a hot chick instead of a dude you’d all be singing a different tune. Still no? Damn, well head over WTFtattoos.com and look at some other misguided souls.
All my big booty hoes, let me see you tootsie roll. *Now in my head is a really good hard-knocking, rump-shaking beat* – That was fun right? Ah, I’m so glad I could bring you all in on that magical journey with me. Anyway, this see-through extravaganza is just the latest installment of everyone’s favorite game ‘Who Wears It Better?’ and you honestly can’t go wrong here. We are all winners.
California & Maryland