Oh ok, i see we really wanna test my shit right now by upgrading from a monkey to a damn gorilla in the store! Are you kidding me right now? I don’t know how fast they grown into 10 story monsters! Could be a matter of minutes so get King Kong out of the damn store before he starts wrecking the entire town!…What’s that? It’s a doll you make? Ohh. Well in that case, what the hell are you coddling a fake baby gorilla for? That’s weirder than coddling a real gorilla. Safer, but weirder.
Don’t interrupt daddy time! I’m trying to be a good f*cking role model around here!
It’s time for Who Wears It Better: That’s What Happens When You Swallow Watermelon Seeds Edition. Now I haven’t knocked up a girl yet, so I don’t know firsthand, but I feel like these are the best maternity clothes. However, two of my best buds from college got babies on the way and I’m trying to arrange a dual Walmart labor delivery so we can film it for the site. For some reason their ladies are having a tough time coming around to the idea of giving birth in the frozen food section of Walmart.
Colorado & Missouri