When do you hit that point of “F it, I’m just gonna piss myself”? C’mon buddy, you should have known it wouldn’t be hard to follow the yellow piss road back to you.
Ohhh sweet pearly whites of winter, it’s never a good thing when it looks like you can tuck the old boys into your hip pockets. Seriously, cleavage isn’t suppose to start at your bellybutton.
CITRUS HEIGHTS- A Walmart employee is hoping to reunite a child with the incredible book of rules that they wrote.
“Don’t get into other people’s business. Don’t call each other names. Clean up your messes. No eating other people’s food. One hundred eighteen is don’t keep saying please if someone says no. I like that,” said Raymond Flores as he reads off the kind of advice you might snatch up in the self-help section at Barnes & Noble.
“One hundred twelve is to try to make things fair,” reads Flores.
But these life lessons came to Walmart employee Flores at work, as he scanned the lot of his Citrus Heights store for empty carts.
“There really wasn’t much out there and I saw this book sitting in a parking spot, so I thought I’d pick it up and check it out,” said Flores.
After flipping through these little pages, Flores quickly realized he’d found something too special to be tossed.
“Rule number 154 was to protect this book,” he read.
Following the lead of the young author and Batman, one of his superhero idols, he wants to find the rightful owner.
“They put a lot of hard work into it. These rules mean a lot to them and probably to the parents, as well,” he said.
While it’s obvious the more trained hand of a parent wrote down several of the rules, page turning reveals words and wisdom penned by a little person.
“Ware (sic) your seatbelt.”
“One of them is go to bed early if you have dance in the morning. That applies to more than just dance. If you have work, school, anything important; just prioritize,” Flores said.
“Put your shoes by the front door when you take them off,” he reads that line as he looks over at his own shoes piled by a doorway.
Other listed ‘rules’ to live by that appear to have come from a child, speak across years they’ve yet to live.
“Don’t leave your friends behind and no texting and driving at the same time,” Flores read.
The other reason’s he’s so interested in getting the book back to it’s author, is that it’s clear rule 158 was in progress when the book was lost.”
“I thought this was adorable. I just thought it was really nice and stuff. What kind of kid does this,” he said.
Flores can’t wait to find out.
He’s hoping this story reaches the book’s owner and it can be returned.
One the rules that might stand out the most: Don’t bite the dentist.
If you’re the author or connected to the child who is, Flores is asking you to email FOX40′s Sonseeahray Tonsall at firstname.lastname@example.org.
If he hops on a green lizard looking thing that starts eating apples, I might shit myself.