07.11.

Extra Flaky

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Look at the delicate layers on that bottom biscuit! I’m impressed…a tad horny…but more so impressed at the layers. Very flaky biscuits, those are always solid.

Unknown

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30 Comments Featured Creature  //  Funny  //  Short Shorts/No Shorts/Underwear  //  Walmart Fashion
07.11.

In The News: Cup ‘O Semen

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A 22-year-old New Castle man was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly threw semen on a female customer’s leg inside the Walmart store near New Castle, police said.

The incident occurred about 3:30 p.m. at the store at 117 Wilton Blvd. where troopers were sent to investigate a “sexual assault,” according to court records.

The 20-year-old woman reported that as she was standing in an aisle texting on her cellphone when a man walked by her, “said excuse me” and then “she suddenly felt something wet on her buttocks, thigh and leg,” police said in court records.

At first, the victim thought she had been spat upon, but when when she looked down, she saw “a ‘glob’ of semen on her leg, just below her knee,” police said.

The woman stood in the aisle awhile shocked at what happened, before walking down the aisle to find an employee to help her.

The suspect, meanwhile, later identified as Frank J. Short Jr., continued to follow her down every aisle while watching her, until the victim slipped into the “Employees Only” area of the store near the electronics section and told them she was being followed, police said in court records.

Two employees escorted the victim to the security office in the front of the store and called police.

Arriving troopers arrested Short, who was charged with offensive touching with bodily fluid, harassment, lewdness and disorderly conduct, Cpl. John Day said.

Preliminary testing of the substance on the woman’s clothing was “indicative of semen,” police said.

Short, meanwhile, was questioned by detectives and initially said the “he sneezed into his hands, then shook his hands off,” and told the detective that “some of his mucus may have flung on to her,” according to court records.

He later changed his story several times, saying it was spit that he threw, then saliva.

When confronted with the preliminary evidence, Short acknowledged that “he performs both the fake spanking and the throwing of the substance because he notices the female and feels they are attractive and gets off on the act.”

Short was committed to Young Correctional Institution in lieu of $2,500 cash and $4,000 secured bail.

Anyone who has information on this case or may have been a victim of a similar act, are asked to call Troop 2 detectives at 834-2620, ext.571 or Delaware Crime Stoppers at (800) TIP-3333.

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16 Comments Funny  //  Stories
07.11.

Flapjack Flo

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What’s up there girl? Just hanging out at Walmart looking like the worst prom date ever? Very cool.

Georgia

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40 Comments Featured Creature  //  Funny  //  Georgia  //  Walmart Fashion
07.11.

I’ve Got Another Puzzle For You

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I always wondered what would happen if Wonka and an Oompa Loompa had a a child.

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8 Comments Featured Creature  //  Funny  //  Walmart Fashion
Three Ring Focus

People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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