I bet you were sitting there wondering if your week was gonna suck or kick ass. Well guess what? When the pimp of all pimps graces you with his presence on a Monday you know the week is going to be nothing short of balls deep awesome!
Madison Police say a 32-year-old woman punched a security guard in the head, then used her car to nearly hit a group of Walmart employees before driving off.
On Saturday afternoon Laura Shidell allegedly tried to steal several pairs of leggings and some “warming oil” from Walmart on Madison’s west side. Police say she stuffed the items into her purse before going through the checkout line, where she only paid for the items which were in her shopping cart.
Walmart’s security staff confronted Shidell for shoplifting, and the woman became outraged. She reportedly threw the stolen leggings and warming oil on the floor, and punched a store loss prevention officer in the head. Then she marched outside and got into her car, which was parked in a disabled parking spot.
Police say her behavior continued when she drove at the security team in a threatening manner, with both hands on the wheel, and both middle fingers raised in the air at them. The victims said she gunned the engine and drove at them before slamming on the brakes, coming five feet short of hitting them with her car.
They reported her license plate to police who caught up with her several miles away on University Avenue in Middleton. When they arrested her, police say she screamed at them from the back of the squad car: “I should have hit you (expletive) too!”
Shidell was arrested for 2nd Degree Reckless Endangerment, Battery, Resisting/Obstructing, Disorderly Conduct, and Retail Theft.
C’mon bro! The over the pants method is so junior high. It’s all about just gettin’ after it like this guy. He knows what’s up, she knows what’s up & everyone else around them who thought they had a shot with her now knows what’s up.
Florida & West Virginia
Look at you trying to be all coy & hide those bottom biscuits underneath that camo. This is Walmart girlfriend, every person in there has seen enough camo print that they can see right through it now. It’s a common genetic adaptation commonly found in the trailer park as well.