If you’re looking to really raise some money for Relay for Life you should sponsor me because I’ll run for days to get away from shitty Elvis impersonators.
In case you were wondering why the Iowa caucus tonight matters so much, it’s because midwesterners like this dude carry a lot of weight in the heartland.
It’s like the chlamydia is just melting her clothing off.
You ever look at social media and think you don’t live an exciting life? Sometimes the world gives back and chilling at home watching TV doesn’t seem so bad on a Sunday now.