Sexy Negligee

This was a long time ago, before the invention of the Super Walmart. Me and a buddy were in the shoe aisle looking at some hiking boots. All of a sudden, a nice gentleman came up to us and asked if we could verify what he was seeing. We proceed around the corner of the aisle and get the most disturbing image I had ever seen at that point of my life. Standing before us, was a large, mid-40s, black woman wearing a shiny silver pleather miniskirt that was several sizes too small, an almost see-through white blouse, and what I thought was a black belt. Unfortunately, the black belt was actually a fat roll that was protruding over the skirt. Throw in dragon lady fingernail, gold teeth, and a really bad weave, and you got a WalCreature of epic proportions. That particular scene was bad, but what made it far worse was that she was looking at some rather skimpy, see-through lingerie and was making comments about how she was going to surprise her boyfriend tonight with it.

My friend and I quickly proceeded to the hardware section to purchase a soldering gun to burn out our retinas.

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