Jokes On Us?

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286

“Hey, PoWM, this is probably staged to get on your website!” – Well, if this guy grew that enchanting Ponytail for 11 years so he could one day squeeze into his tightest shirt, Lt. Dangle shorts and Goth boots for the purpose of taking a picture at Walmart and getting his 15 minutes of fame on our website…….then I guess he got one over on us.

Texas

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Jokes On Us?, 7.6 out of 10 based on 22 ratings

123 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Gretchen

    Man, that ass is GOBBLING up those little shorts…

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    October 6th, 2009

  2. Pac0daTac0

    He’s probably looking for the Reno: 911 movie on DVD.

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    October 6th, 2009

  3. What we can’t see in this shot is the second ponytail that goes under his shirt, down his back and doubles as a hair thong.

    -The Big Cheese
    http://www.RumorRat.com

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    October 6th, 2009

  4. I’m lovin it!

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    October 6th, 2009

  5. Amanda

    OMG.. I think his butt just ate the shorts.. They will be working on the ponytail before too long I’m sure…

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    October 6th, 2009

  6. Jessster

    He should hook up with the chick that was on here a little while back with the white shorts hiked waaay up her crack…

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    October 6th, 2009

  7. MADHATTER

    you gotta problem with that wabanashi?

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    October 6th, 2009

  8. Yasbob

    dude, it says “rollBACK” not “rollUP”

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  9. Kittyhead

    I didn’t know you could eat shorts that way…YIKES!

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    October 6th, 2009

  10. Eric

    Lt. Dangle has better legs

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  11. If pippi longstockings was a guy with bad taste,….

    now all he needs is a bulls-eye tattooed just above his ass!

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  12. Erin

    The white socks really add some character.

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  13. A~

    Ok. Don’t get me wrong. Not a gay basher… But I have to say it.

    IS HE TROLLING FOR FAGS!?

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  14. Buster

    I’m not sure if Texas is ready for the NY touring production of GJ Joe, the Musical……

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  15. Terri

    That’s a GUY!?!

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  16. Buster

    Operation Desert Fabulous……..

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  17. theperfectweld

    He is definitely messin’ with Texas.

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  18. MuddyRunnerGirl

    Ya know what they say comes outta Texas: Steers and Queers…. Which one are you, boy?

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  19. senorabigass

    Nothing says gay, bigass nazi redneck like a long ponytail, shorty-shorts and goosestep boots…I guess

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  20. Buster

    “I still have NO idea why I was fired as a Boy Scout leader …….”

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  21. ShiLeena

    Later that night Hans Solo-Meo goosestepped to all the Glee tv show tunes

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  22. prcrap

    He’s looking for extra strength cleaner for his “streaky” unmentionables

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  23. Repeaterknee

    Wal-Mart fashion guide: your shorts inseam should never be shorter than your ponytail or your boots.

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  24. crazed

    Are those boots or black knee high socks. Either way EPIC FAIL

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  25. adnama

    $20 bet: that Rx in the basket is for an ass rash..

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  26. theperfectweld

    Most likely stocking the bomb shelter in preparation for 2012.

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  27. AZBetty

    someone’s gotta say it….

    I’d hit that :P

    ewww I feel so dirty now

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  28. LJ

    That wedgy is so bad, it’s making ME uncomfortable. Other than that, Nice Ass!

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  29. April

    Dear God how Tomb Raider has let herself go!

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  30. Buster

    So THAT’S who outbid me on Ebay for the authentic Andrews Sisters WW2 USO tour with Bob Hope and Danny Kaye outfits !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  31. April

    My God, the Tomb Raider has really let herself go!!

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  32. Sillyyyyyy

    I didn’t know Britney Spears was a brunette again!!!!!

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  33. crazed

    who wears short shorts . . .

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  34. Carolyn

    Hellooooo Lara Croft

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  35. Weegie

    Ahhhhh…………..glad to see there was no long term damage caused by Alec Baldwin to Canteen Boy ! He’s now a fine young man !!!!

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  36. Haywood Jablomi

    If it is staged, good job depicting typical walfarts.

    If it is NOT staged, what the f is going on down in Texas?????

    Too much moonshine and too many hoot-nanies???

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  37. Erin

    His butt is HUNGRYYY!

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  38. Tonya

    Is that really a unitard under there?

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  39. mirthful

    Personally I like the double, left butt-cheek he’s got goin’ on. HAWT. It’s either that or he’s got to work on concealing that catheter tube a little better.

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  40. crystal

    The popped up collar and the white socks peeping up from the black boots simply make the outfit. Seeing so much leg and a full outline of his ass crack are just added bonuses!

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  41. crystal

    PS: There’s nothing like a mesh cap to tie it all together!

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  42. reggie

    Dontcha just hate it when a guy has nicer legs than the chick walking by???

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  43. Geizha

    Does he have a little mustache to go with those boots?

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  44. Mimi McMoocher

    Those boots are wicked sexy, but they’d look much better on me!

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  45. Strongse

    Ha Ha probably the only guy to ever have a camel toe… thank God this shot is from the back!!!

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  46. Horky the living Spoodge

    Its Gay(Tues)Day at Wal•Mart.

    Everyone knows it’s the pick-up place for the dark side on Tuesdays. Dress your best and flaunt your packages, boys. Check out is now store wide, and you could go home with a fabulous deal.

    Or with poor, desperate trash.

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  47. goday2knight

    Are you SURE its a man??? I am not sure???

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  48. Leia23

    Do guys wear sleeves that taper in like that? And you’ve gotta love the 80′s upturned preppy collar. And it looks like the hair is braided… are we sure this is a guy? Maybe she’s just rocking gorilla legs and men’s boots?

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  49. Ted

    It’s Pippy No stockings.

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  50. Jenny

    Did he just come from an audition for the Village People Reunion Tour?

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  51. FormerWalmartian

    Other than the musculature there’s really no evidence that is a male. Im thinking it is something akin to the South African runner in the news lately.

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  52. Crikey!
    It’s the C*ckodile Hunter!

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  53. Keith

    Elvis?

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  54. Ewww!

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  55. His butt looks hungry for his pony tail…YUM!

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  56. Kelly

    It’s Larry Croft, Lara’s seldom-discussed brother!
    (or, this is what you get when you cross Lara Croft and Larry the Cable Guy)

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  57. El

    I live in Texas and I can assure you this shit is real!!!

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  58. MJD

    My My,,, what I nice man-tail you have there…. and those boots! Those boots complete the ensemble! Shake it like a monkey baby!

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  59. AdamL

    “Brokeback Mountain’s gutta be in dis damn bin sumwheya!”

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  60. Jessica Christian

    WOW!!! I think that this is my Walmart!!! haha…damn shame!

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  61. jess

    omg! Them are my boots. What in the hell is he doing with them?!!?!?!?

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  62. i think this guy sharted.

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  63. geekers

    His ass is just gobblin’ up those shorts, aren’t they? I can almost hear his cheeks going “nom nom nom nom”

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  64. LuckyLou

    Wow Angelina really let herself go after Tombraider 12

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  65. SlaysGirl

    In memory of the late Patrick Swayze, Ned decided to get all dolled up in his best otfit to search for a copy of “To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar…”

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  66. stardeth

    This is either a dude with SURRIOUS bad taste in clothing (one of GW Bush’s security detail off-duty, maybe?), or a female bodybuilder looking for the Bunz of Steel DVD to replace the one she wore out from over-viewing… not 100% on this yet.

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  67. jamby

    IS DAT A DUDE OR A CHICK? I WANT TO KNOW SO I COULD EITHER SLAP HER ASS OR PUNCH HIM IN DA FACE

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  68. glen

    Probably Wig/hair extensions. I bet most these photos are staged just to appear on this blog. Seriously. It’s that or maybe some Walmart people don’t own mirrors or have friends to tell them that they look freakin’ retarded.

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  69. Tim

    Larry “Croft-Dressing” Tomb Raider

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  70. Preppy Peppy

    So like … if I put my collar up like this, I’ll rock these boots.

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  71. Lisa

    the meds in the cart explain everything….

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  72. Ning

    Are you sure that’s a guy?

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  73. Chad

    This guy live down the road from me. Thats at the Alvin Wal-Mart. You should see this guy ride a bike in those shorts. Not a good sight LOL!!

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  74. JaneDoe

    Good thing there wasn’t a front view of this guy, don’t know if I could have handled a massive moose knuckle.

    I’m sure the meds in the cart are some sort of anti-biotic.

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  75. Guy thinks to himself:

    “Man, my yeast infection is killing me. I guess I better pull these shorts up tighter, that way it’ll itch so I don;t have to.”

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  76. Danielle

    Looks like he’s getting into character to go pick up his tomb raider movie from walmart lol Laura croft never looked so good haha

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  77. SlingBlade

    He don’t look like a steer to me!

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  78. Andrea

    He has o.p.l.(obvious panty lines)!

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  79. RailGuy

    I’d hate to see the skid marks on those shorts.

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  80. Jason Janoch

    This is actually the guy that roams the Alvin Texas Walmart. If you get a front shot his right nut is usually hanging out and he wears cutoff gloves. Ill try to get a shot for an update!

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  81. BIG MENDO

    Those are some serious plum smugglers. That guys nuts must be purple by now.

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    October 7th, 2009

  82. Anna Rexia

    Women’s blouse with upturned collar? Check!
    Gothgirl boots? Check!
    WTF Level 7? CHECK!

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    October 7th, 2009

  83. Casey

    Hey now, he injected some class into that outfit by popping his collar.

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    October 8th, 2009

  84. janica

    now im curious to see what the front looks like. 5 dolla make you holla!

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    October 8th, 2009

  85. Captin' Crunch

    His Laura Croft Tomb Raider crush has gone too far!

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    October 8th, 2009

  86. puggles

    To clarify:
    thighs mottled likely due to severe varicose veins.
    Looks like Doc Marten type shoes with Jobst or similary off-the-shelf 18 mm compression stockings over usual white 3-8 mm Hg TED hose for venous insufficiency and likely edema. May have had a tendency to ulceration as well.

    Doesnt excuse the rest of the outfit.

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    October 8th, 2009

  87. Jeff

    I am the on that took this pic, and trust me the frontal shot would have broken my phone.. Yes he had a beard working and he did not have the mesh gloves on this time he had a pair of black mechanics brand gloves on, I had to do a couple of double takes before I was able to muster up taking the picture…. Hey Chad remember whe I showed you this picture at work??

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    October 8th, 2009

  88. The Dude

    “Eight year olds, dude”

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    October 8th, 2009

  89. Shelly

    Is his butt eating the shorts? On my computer, it looks brown in that area…..like maybe he sharted.

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    October 8th, 2009

  90. “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your shorts.”

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    October 9th, 2009

  91. Anathema

    Those really ARE Lt. Dangle shorts, too. Wow.

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    October 10th, 2009

  92. beauty school drop out

    sometimes your butt gets hungry……prime example

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    October 10th, 2009

  93. sk82die

    omg Chris Pontius

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    October 10th, 2009

  94. skate2die

    omg thats chris pontius ………………..lol

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    October 10th, 2009

  95. Jay T.

    O.K., now I remember. As I was waiting in the liquor store line b-4 the game started, the customer in front of me reminded me of someone. I was trying to concentrate on not dropping the Tequila bottle, but there it was, right in front of me. (It wasn’t this guy, because the gentleman ahead of me had one of these fancy tails, but it was definitely of a grayer shade). Now, after the game and much alcohol intake, it’s CLEAR to me that this is the image I was remembering. Some things just stick in your mind…

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    October 10th, 2009

  96. The shorts have to eat every once in a while too…

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    October 11th, 2009

  97. linn

    Behold, it´s the MALE Lara Croft.

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    October 12th, 2009

  98. Sean

    I think I’ve seen this guy before! I’d recognize those go-go boots anywhere.

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    October 12th, 2009

  99. Thanks for informing that he is a guy. I am sad his hair is longer than me.

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    October 13th, 2009

  100. charles

    i think he’s looking for the how to b a girl video

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    October 13th, 2009

  101. Jamie

    I SO see him all the time, and he’s deff. always dressed like that, I guess that’s what I get for actually living in the same town at him, and i only see him at Walmart… He’s not bothering anybody though.. maybe he jsut likes the breeze.

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    October 13th, 2009

  102. Becky

    Is there a smudge stain on his shorts??? eeeeeewwwwww

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    October 13th, 2009

  103. kim

    OMG!! I’ve seen this guy around the town that I live in……He rides a bycicle with a huge basket on the back. And yes folks…..this is what he’s been wearing every time I have seen him.

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    October 13th, 2009

  104. Delana

    I swear this is the back of Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider

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    October 14th, 2009

  105. Ted

    B movie raider?

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    October 15th, 2009

  106. Laughing to Loud

    I love the way he added the ever so tight panties and the lovely (no doubt with stretched buttons) blouse with the tushy snack shorts. Bravo! Encore! Show it again!

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    October 15th, 2009

  107. Krystal

    hahaha I see him allllll the time at the Alvin Wal-Mart and the Exxon on CR 147. I must say the duct tape covered platform boots are his best accessory. My sis have often wondered how the hell he gets those shorts on?!

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    October 16th, 2009

  108. Mrs SPA

    I am so glad someone got a pic of this guy, I saw him at Walgreen’s and no one would believe me when I tried to describe him. I’ve only seen him from the back, fortunately. The pharmacist must know him because she didn’t even look the least bit surprised when she had to speak to him and see the front side! The day I saw him he had an outback looking hat on like he had just rolled in from down under.

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    October 19th, 2009

  109. Billie-Jo

    He is going for the Laura Croft from Tombraider look!!!

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    October 20th, 2009

  110. ALMONDJOY

    LOL @ Billie-Jo……. Laura Croft….. LMFAO!

    “Nut Huggies”….his dukes are tighter then his wifes. I’m starting to wonder who’s the real Biotch in that relationship!

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    October 21st, 2009

  111. Cat

    I think I know him…

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    October 21st, 2009

  112. Ashley

    I KNEW IT WAS THE GUY FROM THE ALVIN WAL-MART. I just read several people’s comments and got confirmation. I was going to take his picture and send it to y’all the last time I saw him. HILARIOUS.

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    October 22nd, 2009

  113. Tonya

    I don’t know…looks a little like Laura Croft Tomb Raider…who took too many testosterone pills.

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    October 23rd, 2009

  114. Funcky

    Oh my! That girl has her period and has hairy legs! poor thing! she should go shopping in the feminine care section.

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    October 27th, 2009

  115. jessica

    lmao! i see this guy all the time riding his bike and 2 busch beers at 9am! I just saw him 2 days ago at heb… alvin folks i tell you…

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    November 3rd, 2009

  116. shea

    that is a girl

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    November 6th, 2009

  117. Mondika

    Those shorts really hug on his butt

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    November 6th, 2009

  118. The more I read it, the more it impresses me. I don’t know how I ever worked without hilarious and funny things in our life, Life would be so much easier especially when there’s a jokes here and there. Being funny is nice because a lot of serious people are lacking with this kind of behavior that is why they are much look older. I would like to thank you for your outstanding blog post. Keep it up! Awesome!

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    November 9th, 2009

  119. CJ

    This guy is for real, and has been kicked out of the walmart i work at several for his balls dangling from his shorts!!!!

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    November 9th, 2009

  120. Deric

    And now I know why babies cry.

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    November 12th, 2009

  121. Angela

    Wow! This is the WORST Tomb Raider impression I’ve ever seen!!!

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    November 13th, 2009

  122. Mary

    Maybe it’s just the black hole that’s gobbling up his shorts, but I swear, it looks like he crapped his pants…either way…eeeewwwwwwwwww…

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    November 22nd, 2009

  123. baybeblue

    lol i work at this walmart and he comes in all the time dressed like this or worse he is my friends neighbor too and yes he dresses like this at home to while he mows everything my manager kicked him out one day cuz he has these elastic bike shorts he wears and his junk literally falls out ewwww!!!!!

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    December 13th, 2010

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