October 13th, 2009
Mustache Ride

I didn’t know we were on the set of a gay porno!…….The cable is working great. No, my sink if fine. No, I don’t need a spotter. No, I’m not going in the sauna after my workout. Leave me alone please.
Tennessee
Mustache Ride,




162 Comments, Comment or Ping
I’m here to *pump* you up!!
October 13th, 2009
I used to be 300 pounds. Then I found Richard Simmons!
October 13th, 2009
he obviously gets his work out by gong to walmart and a buying ton of can goods plus he is ready to go in his work out gear
October 13th, 2009
ewwwwww
October 13th, 2009
mmm… nothing better than seein some man-toe @ the wally world…. i hope his boyfriend doesn’t get too jealous that all the other guys got to see what he’s packin’
October 13th, 2009
Man-Crush!!!
October 13th, 2009
Hey, gay people need cheap Chinese goods too!
October 13th, 2009
I wonder if he shits like a horse too and keeps on walkin’….
October 13th, 2009
idk what’s worse the face that he looks like a gay porn star or that he looks like he’s on roids.. lol sexy
October 13th, 2009
idk what’s worse the fact that he looks like a gay porn star or that he looks like he’s on roids.. lol sexy
October 13th, 2009
HULK SMASH!!
October 13th, 2009
This guy has some suppressed psychological issues from WAY back in high school wrestling. Dude, just let it go… This is bordering on indecent exposure!
October 13th, 2009
If you drop your car keys, kick them a few blocks before bending over to pick them up.
October 13th, 2009
As Harry said to Lloyd, “Holy jeez look and the butt on that!”
Dumb and Dumber 1994
October 13th, 2009
Um…much better from the back…MUCH
October 13th, 2009
notice how he carries multiple bags lifted up a little to show off his muscles. GEEZ. I bet his wife still wears leg warmers to the gym.
October 13th, 2009
The “shorts” are so tight they’re making him bow-legged! He’s okay with that though, gives the women a better view of the goods.
October 13th, 2009
Im not saying anything mean here about this dude, he may come and kick my ass!
October 13th, 2009
Freddie Mercury says ” I’m baaack”.
October 13th, 2009
running shorts and a mangled muscle shirt are oh so sexy! trying WAY too hard to get a man to notice him!
October 13th, 2009
I know when I think “Gay Pick Up Spots”, I think Walmart!
October 13th, 2009
BEHOLD! It is I, Walmarticus! The urban gladiator!
October 13th, 2009
All I can say is eeewww
October 13th, 2009
He must of gone to Wal-Mart to get some cream for the chafing his shorts are causing. Look at the way he’s walking.
October 13th, 2009
I’ve been doing Ty-Bo for three months and so far I’ve lost 15 pounds and 20 fights.
October 13th, 2009
Are those bags of sugar inside the WM bags???
October 13th, 2009
At the Y M C….Hey wait a minute this isn’t the Y. I’m taking my toys and leavin!!!!!!!
October 13th, 2009
He is so manly he dosn’t need a cart….
October 13th, 2009
It’s creeping me out that there’s a kid so near him.
October 13th, 2009
Bom chicka wah wah…
October 13th, 2009
thank goodness his mustache has handlebars…
October 13th, 2009
I’m gay, and have NEVER acted, looked or even known another gay man that acted or looked that gay at a retail store!!! I’d have to shoot myself or anyone with me if this occurred. It’s sooooooo wrong!
October 13th, 2009
That is one frightening outfit Dude…
October 13th, 2009
No need to worry People of Wal-Mart… He’ll be back…
October 13th, 2009
I’ve got some bad news, man. They aren’t staring because they’re jealous.
October 13th, 2009
bringing sexy back? um maybe not
October 13th, 2009
Looks like Borat has been working out !
October 13th, 2009
I didnt know Wal-Mart sold steroids…..good to know.
October 13th, 2009
I know it’s cliched and said often here, but I honestly did just throw up a little in my mouth.
October 13th, 2009
Its Right Said Fred….”I’m too sexy….”
October 13th, 2009
I’ll bet there’s a Trans-Am or a Firebird out in that parking lot somewhere.
October 13th, 2009
Message to the young boy in front of him. RUN KID RUN.
October 13th, 2009
Dude, your moose knuckle is showing.
October 13th, 2009
Wal•Mart is home to anus adoration.
This guy just wants to muscles to clench on and rip off any anal intruders he doesn’t desire.
October 13th, 2009
K-Y? check
Mega-Growth Protein Powder? check
Gummi-Bears? check
October 13th, 2009
a fanny pack on a fanny packer?
October 13th, 2009
when the circus comes to town where else would they shop except Wally World. 9 out of 10 circus strongmen agree…..
October 13th, 2009
wonder if he drives the Hello Kitty car posted earlier…
October 13th, 2009
I thought Ned Flanders was fictional. Okaly dokaly.
October 13th, 2009
Ha! I knew it! John Holmes isn’t dead!
He’s been working out a bit though.
October 13th, 2009
I didn’t know JAMBY was so buff.
October 13th, 2009
Looks like he’s walking kind of funny.
October 13th, 2009
Those shorts split his boys in four places. ew.
October 13th, 2009
It looks like Swanson chicken broth in the bags…awww, such a good boy, making soup for his momma!
October 13th, 2009
Thats Borats Brother!!
October 13th, 2009
Firebird?? THIS guy clearly drives the same mid 80s Mustang that he drove in HS!
October 13th, 2009
Next spokesman for Subway. You too can look like this from eating at Subway just like me and Jared!
October 13th, 2009
Apparently, he’s not in wrestling for sport, unless pinning on you hindquarters counts.
October 13th, 2009
Skip,skip.skip to my Lou ,Skip ,skip,skip to my Lou …….
October 13th, 2009
This guy also likes to walk around naked in the locker room at the gym a lot. He also spends hours in front of a mirror flexing.
October 13th, 2009
Prep. H would help with the problem making him walk silly.
Maybe he should straighten out before he needs Depends®.
October 13th, 2009
I’m thinking he was a member of the Soviet Olympic team circa 1980, escaped to the U.S. (apparently landing in Tennessee) and still wears the tard he wore when leaving the country.
October 13th, 2009
omg! this is the walmart in my area!!! ha i live in tennessee
October 13th, 2009
It’s Lou Ferrigno and somebdy just made him angry! Hulk on!
October 13th, 2009
A physically fit person in a Wal-Mart? At least he upholds the tradition of being inappropriately dressed.
October 13th, 2009
it’s the American cousin of Bruno
October 13th, 2009
Oh lord…. Gotta love how even walks like he’s been sodomized one too many times.
October 13th, 2009
I GOT ZEE GROCERIES .. NOW GET TO ZEE CHOPPA .. AHYEEEYYAYAYAYEEEYA!!!!!
October 13th, 2009
wow, i’m not sure what to think about this
October 13th, 2009
“I must break you!”
October 13th, 2009
X marks the spot. You know what I mean.
October 13th, 2009
Take that picture of my dad down from your site, right NOW.
October 13th, 2009
You should probably be arrested just for wearing that around kids.
October 13th, 2009
This is in Murfreesboro, TN. This guy goes to my gym and wears stuff like this all the time. This is actually pretty tame compared to his gym attire. You can usually spot him on the glute-ham raise or in front of the mirror yawn-posing.
October 13th, 2009
This man is not gay. He’s wearing white socks (and shoes).
October 13th, 2009
Is this a Schwarzenegger wannabe???
October 13th, 2009
This guy’s weiner is made of playdoh.
October 13th, 2009
If he’s not a queer, he missed his calling.
October 13th, 2009
In the bag is his dick-sling.
October 13th, 2009
I am so wet lookin’ at this guy, I’m creaming the corn coming out of my ass.
October 13th, 2009
who the hell lets these half naked people into Walmart? Stupid door greeters aren’t doing their jobs!
October 13th, 2009
I just licked him clean inside and out. Especially inside.
October 13th, 2009
Any ‘Family Guy’ fans here? He looks like one of those old fashioned strong-man weight lifters that pop up from time to time, the one is named Phineus I believe…..
October 13th, 2009
Hans is missing his buddy Frans… so he consoles himself by seeking refuge at the local Wal Mart…..
October 13th, 2009
LOOKS A HELL OF ALOT BETTER THAN THE OTHER FAT ASSES ON HERE!! GOTTA GIVE HIM THAT
October 13th, 2009
Deliverance.
October 13th, 2009
I dont know what was funnier, the fact he looked like an 80s porn guy or that to boot, he had on a fanny pack which is not visible in the picture!!!
October 13th, 2009
I’d much rather look at this then someone’s nasty butt crack. At least he is keeping in shape better than most of us couch potatos out here being judgemental.
October 13th, 2009
What car, he probably jogged down there. You don’t stay in shape putting your fat butt in a car and drive down there,and look for a parking space as close to the door as you can get.
October 13th, 2009
“I vant to pump you up”
October 13th, 2009
That outfit is kinda douche-y
October 13th, 2009
You KNOW he was strutting all through da ‘Mart thinking, “Damn, I look GOOD!”
October 13th, 2009
Later that night, his girlfriend ShiLeena – much disappointed — found out why Hans was saving himself for marriage.
October 13th, 2009
I see this guy all the time, he goes to the same Wal-Mart I do… usually his outfit is complete with a fanny pack (which you can sort of make out in the picture). He is a LEGEND at the walmart by wearing the same thing, summer or winter… and the picture doesn’t do it justice, but you can totally see his package in those shorts (fanny pack hangs to the side for optimal viewing).
October 13th, 2009
What’s he gonna do with all that Vaseline in the bag?
October 13th, 2009
Thank God for Steroids or we might have gotten to see frank and beans too!
October 13th, 2009
“Ya know back in 1982, I could throw a pigskin a quarter mile . . .”
October 13th, 2009
Yeah it’s a little more than I wanna see (ok a LOT more) but at least he’s in shape…and for all the fatties on the site, I said IN SHAPE not A SHAPE…just because your shape is circle doens’t count!!!
October 13th, 2009
its funny when buff guys walk around showin everyone how buff they are.all struttin.
October 13th, 2009
OMG! it’s Toney Little from QVC’s brother! He has a court order but seems to be checking out the little boy and flexing just a bit….checking for Amber alerts from Tennessee……
October 14th, 2009
I’m kind of concerned how he spots himself at the gym.
October 14th, 2009
at least he has a halfway decent body… women i’ve seen at wallyworld with their boobs, bellies and butts hanging out should look so good! isn’t it weird that women can wear really way out and stupid looking crap but a man has to always play it straight?
October 14th, 2009
This is from my towns wal-mart, this guy goes to the gym I tan at and the first time I saw him…. porn star was my first thought too.
October 14th, 2009
Mustache ride implies cunnilingus. Which is the last thing a gay man would want to do.
October 14th, 2009
So what gives? My walmart only has a mcdonalds, subway is much better!!!
But in other words – SHOW OFF!!!
October 14th, 2009
Totally gay porn material. I can see this guy saying some line like, “My name is Richard but you can call me…….Dick”
October 14th, 2009
LOL
October 14th, 2009
I am sure I will get plenty of dislikes for this but if you really look at his face and gait it looks like he has some sort of physical/mental deformity. That said he is trying to overcompensate for it with huge muscles and a totally absurd outfit…but maybe he doesn’t know any better.
October 14th, 2009
1981 Called, they want their shorts and mustache back
October 14th, 2009
Fantastic!
October 14th, 2009
“It’s raining Men! Halleluiah! It’s raining Men! Amen!” Quick! Somebody put me out of my misery! Can’t get this damn song out of my head!
October 14th, 2009
Why, WHYYYYYY must we be tormented by the muscular moose knuckle??
October 14th, 2009
I knew Freddie Mercury wasn’t dead.
October 14th, 2009
I wish my Wal-Mart had a Subway. Oh, and BTW…lookin’ good, Mr. Kotter!
October 14th, 2009
I just baught 4 gallons of baby oil……..who wants to wrastle?
October 14th, 2009
Question for those posters who see this guy all the time: is he really gay or just a borderline exhibitionist?
October 14th, 2009
I’d do him, or let him do me. He’s hot and he’s got a pretty nice looking basket (and I’m not talking about the Wal-Mart cart, either).
October 14th, 2009
Goin’ to the mustachio bashio.
October 14th, 2009
It’s Borat!!!!! Verrry nice!
October 14th, 2009
Whoever wrote the caption sure knows a lot about what goes on in gay porn. >.<
October 14th, 2009
Gonna jump in my Firebird GTA (red of course)and listen to Styx or Journey on my cassette deck. 1980 ~ 90′s throwback.
October 14th, 2009
lol Liza…he found Richard Simmons, and apparently his wardrobe as well…
October 14th, 2009
Nothing strange going on here…
What? You’ve never seen a grown man in a onesy leotard? Well then, it’s your lucky day!!
October 14th, 2009
Go home and put on some real clothing.
October 14th, 2009
At least he’s not all oiled up… eeewwww…
October 14th, 2009
He’s at the gym making loud grunting noises during dead lifts. The guy who slams the weights down hard to attract more admiring gazes. He is forever looking at himself in the mirror, wears workout gear everywhere, and is highly offended when a gay guy hits on him in the WalMart parking lot.
October 14th, 2009
Does anyone notice that he’s starring awfully hard it that guys butt?
October 14th, 2009
That’s my mom. Please, stop mocking her. It’s not her fault the shorts are chafing her.
October 14th, 2009
I know this man!! He comes into my work right next door to this Wal-Mart all the time…what kills me is that there isn’t even a gym nearby! He goes out of his way to be as inappropriate as possible.
October 14th, 2009
…H O T!
October 15th, 2009
Holy crap. I think that’s gay frank. A friend used to see him at Kroger all the time. Didn’t know his name, just called him gay frank. I recognize him from the description alone!
October 15th, 2009
Borat?
October 15th, 2009
I bet he was shopping for some Village People clothes.
October 15th, 2009
You see all this?? It’s aaaall real…..except the stache
October 15th, 2009
Even at the gym this guy gets strange looks, let alone at the grocery.
October 15th, 2009
Check out how he’s staring at that little boy’s ass. 10 bucks says he’s got sleeping pills, condoms, and a bag of skittles in that bag.
October 15th, 2009
Why is such a muscley guy struggling so hard with those bags?
October 15th, 2009
Who knew John Stossel was ripped?
October 15th, 2009
waaaawww….oh yeah biseps..biseps..triseps..triseps..biseps..oh wait thats not biseps..thats a comedo..but wait..come to think of it’s a dick….AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH….
October 15th, 2009
Leave him alone, my ass. He probably goes to Wal-Mart to pick up chicks.
October 15th, 2009
Thanks!!! That is the funniest damn caption I’ve read in a long time.
October 15th, 2009
I use to work at that walmart. I saw that guy all the time. One day I had to tell my managers about how he was trying to beat up the self checkout machine when it wouldn’t take his messed up 20 dollar bill.
October 15th, 2009
Where does he keep his wallet and car keys? …wait, don’t tell me.
October 16th, 2009
He comes to the store I work at. Wearing exactly the same outfit. Drives a red Grand Am with windows down and techno music blaring (I s*#& you not!). But I have seen him with actual pants on and a sweater. Sadly, a coworker was once a witness to him bending over in those shorts. Lets just say that underwear was not involved and EVERYTHING was out for viewing.
October 16th, 2009
This guy is a local legend in my town! I used to work at Home Depot when I was in college he used to come in all the time. Some of my friends have actually witnessed his dangles falling out of those shorts a couple different times. Lets face it they don’t have far to fall… er….slide!!! We used to call him the Nut Smuggler or Spandex Guy.
October 17th, 2009
the sad thing is ive seen that guy in person
October 18th, 2009
It’s fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.!
October 19th, 2009
I THINK HE’S HOOOOT!……..YOU CAN COME DOWN TO MY LOCAL WALMART ANYTIME YOU WANT HONEY! RAWWRR!
October 21st, 2009
The sad thing? No telling whats in his beg!
October 21st, 2009
he shops at kroger too and someone accused him of stealing a cucumber…
October 25th, 2009
CHUCK NORRIS is that you?!
October 26th, 2009
The really funny thing about this is it looks like he’s having trouble carrying his bags
October 28th, 2009
are you going to tell this dude what to wear? I’m not!
October 29th, 2009
Is that a midget on steroids?
October 30th, 2009
Жаль, что не смогу сейчас участвовать в обсуждении. Очень мало информации. Но эта тема меня очень интересует.
October 30th, 2009
Meh. I think he’s pretty damn hot.
November 3rd, 2009
Here we see the majestic queer stalking its prey. any sudden lean forward and it will pounce.
November 5th, 2009
Man this bag of rice cakes is heavy!!
November 6th, 2009
I’ve seen THAT guy! or someone that has wore the same exact clothes!
November 8th, 2009
That there is one of those Gold’s Gym Members!!
November 20th, 2009
Say what you will, but the guy’s got AWESOME legs!
November 22nd, 2009
His shorts may be WAY to short but I would rather look at this then some 300 pound lady with short shorts and a camel toe. This site has ENOUGH of those already!
May 1st, 2012
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