The Pickup Artist



Alright people, we haven’t given anything away for a while so let’s change that. Funniest pickup line wins either a copy of our new book or calendar, your choice. GOOOOOOOO!

Ohio & Washington

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Rating: 7.3/10 (151 votes cast)
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Rating: +11 (from 25 votes)
The Pickup Artist, 7.3 out of 10 based on 151 ratings

96 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Kevin

    I hear bad girls like bad boys, come on over here and visit the Big Bad Wolf. (Awooooooooooooooooooooo..)

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    Rating: -2 (from 12 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  2. Eric

    FETCH!

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    Rating: 3.8/5 (4 votes cast)
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    Rating: +1 (from 15 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  3. Cybr

    “All the better to eat you with”.

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: +1 (from 11 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  4. Rincewind

    “Baby, you must have committed a crime because you’ve got such a fine tail.”

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    Rating: 2.6/5 (9 votes cast)
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    Rating: -4 (from 14 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  5. Bdubs

    I’ve got a bone to pick with you… In my pants.

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    Rating: 2.8/5 (6 votes cast)
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    Rating: -6 (from 14 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  6. Bucksblossom

    “Big Bad Wolf you say? I’m Foxy Roxy Twinkle Toes, Nice to meet you!”

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    Rating: -6 (from 8 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  7. tj pane

    The only place to chase tail !

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    Rating: 4.8/5 (5 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 10 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  8. John

    I want a piece your tail!

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    Rating: -4 (from 4 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  9. SCAScot

    “Your kennel or mine?”

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (9 votes cast)
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    Rating: +4 (from 12 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  10. Mackenzie Miner

    I know that you’re not a dog, but I would scooby dooby doo you all night ;)

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)
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    Rating: +7 (from 11 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  11. brad

    Talk about puppy love, Grrrrr

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    Rating: -5 (from 5 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  12. Mary C.

    I’m a wolf with a boner and ohh look, gonna go get me some tail!

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    Rating: 3.3/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: -1 (from 7 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  13. Alan Mizell

    “If i said you had a beautiful tail would you hold my wood?”

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    Rating: 4.7/5 (6 votes cast)
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    Rating: +5 (from 13 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  14. Gayle Risher

    That tail is all MINE!

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    Rating: -4 (from 4 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  15. Papalaz

    is that trying to get in or out?

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    Rating: 3.3/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  16. jonathan mayeux

    Hey baby wanna lick butts?

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    Rating: 0 (from 12 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  17. rebecca

    Meanwhile at Walmart,mating season has began…

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    Rating: 4.3/5 (7 votes cast)
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    Rating: +16 (from 18 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  18. Phil Roberts

    Foxes: they’re full of fiber.

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    Rating: -6 (from 6 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  19. MackaB

    Hey Skunky Lady, you sure are a fine piece of tail. They call me the Big Bad ‘Getting Older’ Wolf.

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    Rating: -4 (from 6 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  20. MaryJane86

    I’d like to bury my bone in your foxhole

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    Rating: 4.6/5 (10 votes cast)
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    Rating: +17 (from 21 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  21. Julie Krieger

    Ma’am….I think I found your missing cat….

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    Rating: 2.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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    Rating: +4 (from 10 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  22. Bethany Stout

    Hey a fox like you shouldn’t be out in the open during hunting season, let’s go back to my place and play zoo. I’ll let you tame my monkey.

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    Rating: +1 (from 7 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  23. Maceman

    A little tail never hurt anyone!!!

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    Rating: +1 (from 9 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  24. Christa Byrnes

    Who’s afraid of the Big Bad…OMG! That woman! That tail! Marry Me!

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: -2 (from 4 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  25. Smurfy

    Let me see you shake a tailfeather… errrr I mean furry… errr I mean… Hey nice tail you have there, can I sniff it?

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    December 12th, 2012

  26. Doup

    Hey baby, you look furry hot with that tail. Wanna see mine?

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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    Rating: -3 (from 5 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  27. Bruce R

    “Baby you must be dreaming ’cause I’ve got a big hardon and I’m drunk and wearing a wolf mask and I’m drunk.”

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: -8 (from 14 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  28. Laura

    Pin the tail on the donkey? nah I’ll just nail the girl with the tail cause I’m the fox with a giant wood…. cane

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    Rating: -7 (from 11 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  29. cortney

    I’m the Big Bad Wolf do you want to be my Red Riding Hood? We could go back to Grandmas cabin.

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    December 12th, 2012

  30. Bruce Rusk

    Baby you must be dreaming ’cause I’ve got a big hard on and I’m drunk and wearing a wolf mask and I’m drunk”.

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: -9 (from 15 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  31. Debbie

    For both pictures—-Fox in the hole!

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    December 12th, 2012

  32. Christoph Tucker

    EEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH FOXY LADY!!! OPE, OPE, OPE, OPE, OPA GUNGAN STYLE!!!!!!

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    December 12th, 2012

  33. TOPH

    EEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHH FOXY LADY!! OPE, OPE, OPE,OPE, OPA GUNGAM STYLE!

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    Rating: -9 (from 11 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  34. littlelorna

    My bone. Your tail. A HOWLING’ good time, baby! A-wooooo!!!!!!!

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    Rating: -2 (from 12 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  35. Jennifer R

    Hey baby… What do you say about you, me, and this chew stick going back to the pet department where I can show you that size really does matter? Woof!

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    Rating: +5 (from 13 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  36. Clodia

    “The stars in your eyes make me want to howl at the moon.”

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    Rating: -1 (from 9 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  37. AJB

    If you’re very good, you can pet my tail.

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    Rating: -4 (from 6 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  38. Prin

    So are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn’t get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it’s the least you can do.

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    December 12th, 2012

  39. akspoon

    Little Skunk, Little Skunk, Let me in……
    Not by the hair of my tail in the wind

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: -3 (from 7 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  40. Tom

    I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your tail around and around!

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    Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  41. Melanie

    Looking for a little piece of tail?????

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    Rating: -4 (from 4 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  42. cindy

    has anyone seen my pet raccoon?he was sitting in my chair with me a few minutes ago!

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    December 12th, 2012

  43. BillLee

    I don’t give a rats ass……

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    Rating: -2 (from 4 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  44. Corey

    Lady, come back here – you sat on Earl !!!!!!!!!!!

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    Rating: 1.5/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 8 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  45. Jen

    Better walk really fast past the hunting department.

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    Rating: +6 (from 8 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  46. Gatrix

    Shouldn’t you skin them before eating

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    December 12th, 2012

  47. rebecca

    Who let the dogs out…. Woof.. what smells?!!

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    December 12th, 2012

  48. Dean

    “Let me sniff dat tail, an Imma gonna let you hold my bone.”

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: -4 (from 6 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  49. Clarence Little

    Is it just me or is your tail out for a reason? Want to find out which is longer, your tail against my bone?

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    December 12th, 2012

  50. girlwatcher

    Screw the contest. It’s hunting season. Shoot them both.

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    December 12th, 2012

  51. Ken

    We first suspected that the great turning predicted by the Mayans would take the form of Zoomorphication when animal parts started popping up on people in Walmart.

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    December 12th, 2012

  52. wha wha

    Wha?!? That’s not a tail hanging out my butt, I just haven’t shaved in a while!!

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    December 12th, 2012

  53. mel

    I think you might wanna trim that ass hair a lil honey!!

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    Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  54. mike oxfat

    “IM ALWAYS ON THE PROWL FOR SOME TAIL, LETS DO IT DOGGY-STYLE”

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    Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)
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    December 12th, 2012

  55. NC Viewer

    Tail Hook… LOLOLOL (reverse the pictures)….

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    December 12th, 2012

  56. wally

    This outfit cost lots but you dream girl are worth it.

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    December 12th, 2012

  57. Shawn D.

    I’m a wolf and a loner (go figure). What say we go to my place and howwwl at the moon together! I do it doggy style!

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    December 12th, 2012

  58. Mike M

    Don’t worry ma’am, I’m with PETA Rescue and I’ll have that cat out in a sec!

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    Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)

    December 12th, 2012

  59. susan branzelle

    Hey baby, wana bury a bone?

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    December 12th, 2012

  60. Taylor

    Bad head or bad tail: Your choice!

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    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)

    December 12th, 2012

  61. Tanya

    Can I grind my axe on that tail?

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    December 12th, 2012

  62. Gina

    Hey baby, wanna chew my bone?

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    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)

    December 13th, 2012

  63. Adam D.

    Are you a top or a bottom?

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    December 13th, 2012

  64. ButtheadCDXX

    I’ll huff & I’ll puff & I’ll blow your hose down from your locali Wally World.

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    December 13th, 2012

  65. jimbo57

    ‘Scuse me for breaking the mood, but is the woman on the right accompanied by her CHILD? Are furries *shudder* reproducing?

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    December 13th, 2012

  66. Mark

    Hey baby. You sure do smell good. Wanna go back to my place and we will tal about the first think that pops up!

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    December 13th, 2012

  67. Laurie

    Oh my cuz! I cant believe you made it on the people of WalMart website. Nit only am I shocked to see this, but it is hilarious because usually you are more picky about your appearance.

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    December 13th, 2012

  68. thezenviking

    Man, when I find the BITCH that stole my tail…

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    December 13th, 2012

  69. it

    Pic one: excuse me baby, does this cane smell like chloroform to you???

    Pic two: Hey Baby, if you wanna come over for a little tail I’ll never TAIL

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    December 13th, 2012

  70. Darr Winn

    Not tonight baby, I am chewing my arm off.

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    December 13th, 2012

  71. Pat

    I be at Walmart shopping for some tail!

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    December 13th, 2012

  72. Donald

    Hey Babe, ever been eaten by a Big, Bad Wolf?

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    December 13th, 2012

  73. Baloo Uriza

    Hey baby, lift that tail for the big bad wolf!

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    December 13th, 2012

  74. Gozinga

    (guy in wolf costume) “Hey, Baby, let’s raise some “cane” together. Cane = Cain . . . get it? Aw, they laughed in Las Vegas! You had to be there!”

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    December 13th, 2012

  75. sam adams

    By hook or by crook you can get a little tail.

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    December 14th, 2012

  76. Frank K

    That bear would rather chew his arm off than to get a whiff of that on his claws.

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    December 14th, 2012

  77. Mike

    Just ASS yourself…CANE you TAIL which one Peter would rather shoot?

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    December 14th, 2012

  78. Curbishly

    Heads, or tails?

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    December 14th, 2012

  79. Eternally Tamned

    Let’s flip a coin, baby. Heads, we fox at my place… tails, we fox at yours.

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    December 15th, 2012

  80. Sonya

    You and me baby and nuthin but mammals lets do it like they do on the discovery channel……………………….

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    December 15th, 2012

  81. lindsey m

    hey baby. your den or mine?

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    December 15th, 2012

  82. Kimberly Finnigan

    Hey baby, you gonna help me bury my bone…or are you going to leave me chasing your tail?

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    December 16th, 2012

  83. Jerry

    Wanna do it Doggie style ?

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    December 17th, 2012

  84. JDC

    So I got a bone and you got a nice tail. You want to meet in frozen foods and melt some nuggets?

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    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

    December 17th, 2012

  85. Patrick Litzinger

    Hey lady, you’re suppose to use a hampster, not a cat!

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    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    December 18th, 2012

  86. NoveltyFishHead

    Walmart welcomes everyone: humans and toons.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    December 18th, 2012

  87. ill will the mick

    this bone that tale, lets go explore fox holes

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    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    December 22nd, 2012

  88. Skipper

    I’ll huff and I’ll blow… your house down!

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    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    December 23rd, 2012

  89. Aven Ross

    Your lips say “Sheilds Up” but your eyes say “Haul Breach Imminent.” 

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    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    December 25th, 2012

  90. Shaun

    Hey baby, are you in heat? Or do you smell this good all the time? WOOF!!

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    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    December 27th, 2012

  91. Jenn

    “Wanna bone?”

    or

    “Know anywhere I can bury my bone?”

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    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    December 31st, 2012

  92. Angel

    Is that… a butt plug…?

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    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    December 31st, 2012

  93. katygurl

    Well excuse me for trying – what crawled up your ass and died?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 4.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    January 8th, 2013

  94. Chi Spurger

    I like ‘em foxy and husky, black or white and baby, even that tail wags for this meat treat

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    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    January 11th, 2013

  95. Joseph

    Can I come home with you and blow your house down?

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    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 20th, 2013

  96. Ty

    “chasing your own tail is soo last month”

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    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 24th, 2013

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