Caption Contest!



4648

I’d love to hear this conversation. If only I was a fly that probably frequently circles her nether regions I’d be able to hear what was being said. But, since I’m not, I’ll leave figuring out what was said to you guys in a CAPTION CONTEST!!!! Winner gets a copy of our 365 day calendar and for the rest of you that don’t win it, go buy it to make sure you’re not in it.

Hawaii

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Rating: 7.6/10 (170 votes cast)
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Rating: +22 (from 30 votes)
Caption Contest!, 7.6 out of 10 based on 170 ratings

210 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. Matt Riggins

    “You’d bett’a tell dat foo to bring back my doughnut!”

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (9 votes cast)
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    Rating: +21 (from 35 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  2. Goofy59

    “No, really officer the doughnuts just jumped off the shelf and into my mouth. I didn’t steal them”

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    Rating: 3.3/5 (7 votes cast)
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    Rating: -3 (from 11 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  3. Ray

    Maam, what do you mean you did NOT steal that tire. I can SEE IT hanging out from under that top that is too short.

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    Rating: 4.5/5 (4 votes cast)
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    Rating: +13 (from 25 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  4. Magan

    Cop: Ma’am you are in trouble for stealing a tarp
    Lady: Let me axe you a question does it loooook like I stole a tarp to you??
    Cop: Ma’am, isnt that what you are wearing as a skirt…?

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    Rating: 4.5/5 (14 votes cast)
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    Rating: +25 (from 35 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  5. drm

    Hula Hoopty

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    Rating: 1.3/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: +1 (from 17 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  6. Ray

    Officer, I couldn’t help eating all the marshmallows, I’m big boneded.

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 10 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  7. Amber

    …and then that b**** stole my waist.

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (10 votes cast)
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    Rating: +11 (from 17 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  8. c_b_mazur

    Officer, You see them there donuts, Well I bet you I can beat you to it.

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    Rating: 2.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  9. Jeff

    “Photo bomb? Ain’t nobody got time for that”

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    Rating: 4.4/5 (14 votes cast)
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    Rating: +23 (from 27 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  10. Chris

    Nicki Minaj before the Insanity workout…

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    Rating: 4.1/5 (10 votes cast)
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    Rating: +10 (from 18 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  11. Ray

    Officer, what times do you get off work? You can slap me on the ass and ride the waves in.

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    Rating: 4.3/5 (7 votes cast)
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    Rating: +8 (from 14 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  12. Marlie

    “But Officer, it was actually Ursala the sea witch! What’s that? You don’t believe that I’m the little mermaid?”

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (5 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 8 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  13. Princess J

    “Wha’ had happen’d wuz I gotz too big tuh be uh Oompa Loompa and then Mr. Wonka jus’ drop me at the Wal-Martz and Iz been her-uh eva’ sinz.”

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    Rating: 3.9/5 (11 votes cast)
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    Rating: +11 (from 19 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  14. Jammin J

    “Ossifer, it ain’t nuthin’ in there that says I can’t do something strange for a lil piece of change. I even axed the manager!”

    Lady in background (Manager): “Officer, could you guys move from in front of the store…she’s scaring the customers. Thanks!”

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    Rating: 4.4/5 (9 votes cast)
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    Rating: +8 (from 12 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  15. Tina

    Lady : Just cause you wear a badge dont mean I aint gonna fight you for da last Donut..

    Cop: Just give me back the Donut Lady…

    Lady: Nuh uh Bacon, Its Creme Filled, Jus like me…

    Cop: Im going to have to site you for putting such a disturbing thought in my head…

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    Rating: 4.5/5 (8 votes cast)
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    Rating: +12 (from 16 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  16. John

    ma’am i saw your kids stealing now im going to need them to come out from under your skirt

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
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    Rating: +6 (from 8 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  17. Spinborn

    Female: Get in mah BELLAY!

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    Rating: 3.8/5 (9 votes cast)
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    Rating: +7 (from 15 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  18. Peewee92003

    “Whatchu mean you’re arresting me for indecent exposure? You betta recognize!”

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    Rating: 2.8/5 (5 votes cast)
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    Rating: +3 (from 7 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  19. verbatim

    “No, Rutherford, you have the date wrong for the symphony, It will be on Brahm’s birthday, May 7. The tuxes and gowns are ready, and the catering is going to be spectacular. I will be happy to see your lovely wife that evening! My husband will conduct a splendid concert, and yes, it is sold out. Join us for champagne after!”

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (24 votes cast)
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    Rating: +31 (from 45 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  20. JOE RIVERS

    Hey Mr Oficer, wanna put my shit DUUTHEGER!

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (4 votes cast)
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    Rating: -3 (from 5 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  21. Seth

    Cop: “Ma’am you should really finish chewing your mcdouble before you unwrap and start on your 2nd.”

    Woman: “AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR DAT!!”

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    Rating: 3.7/5 (7 votes cast)
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    Rating: +3 (from 7 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  22. Sylvester

    You are just a stiff tryin’ to control people and I’m am here just tryin’ to show this island how to let LOOSE and let their soul feathers fly! Mmm MMM!

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    Rating: 2.7/5 (6 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 8 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  23. Erick

    “Now officer, I saw that skinny bitch take the last bucket of frozen chitlins, and it was mine! She deserved her ass whippin’! I’ll tear her jheri curls right off her head!”

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    Rating: 3.7/5 (13 votes cast)
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    Rating: +8 (from 14 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  24. barbara

    i’m just here to apply to be a hula dancer!!!!!!!

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    Rating: 2.0/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: -2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  25. Tammy

    Listen here copper, I control the world’s donut supple! What you willing to do for one pretty boy??! Lol

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: -4 (from 10 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  26. Jody

    “It be like dis…you go search me, but touch the hair and I harlem shake my ass on yo face!”

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (5 votes cast)
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    Rating: +5 (from 9 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  27. Chris

    Wow, Nicki Minaj has really let herself go.

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    Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)
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    Rating: -3 (from 5 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  28. somonezmom

    Star Jones arrested for smuggling Carrot Top in a back pack in a Celebrity D list zone

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    Rating: 3.4/5 (5 votes cast)
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    Rating: +6 (from 10 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  29. Kristen

    Fashion police catches one at Wal-Mart. Further news at 6.

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    Rating: 3.4/5 (5 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 8 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  30. k8

    “How you gon tell me that they ain’t puttin out no mo’ twinkies? I knows I saw a truck go to the backa the store with some mo’ TWINKIES”

    Officer: “Ma’am I understand you are upset that Hostess went bankrupt (although with you as a customer, I’m pretty shocked too) but Wal Mart sells a generic version you can buy”

    “Just gimme my dern Twinkies and nobody gon get hurt, ya heard me?”

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    Rating: 4.5/5 (13 votes cast)
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    Rating: +5 (from 13 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  31. breanna

    If you don’t quit axin me quetions ima suffocate you with my weave

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    Rating: 3.2/5 (5 votes cast)
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    Rating: +1 (from 9 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  32. mike richardson

    excuse me miss but the loading dock is for loading and unloading only

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    Rating: 2.7/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  33. WEN

    Sunglasses. Check. PHOTO BOMB!

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: -3 (from 5 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  34. Michael

    “woman” – No officer I didn’t steal anything. You have seen big momma’s house right? I’m Martin Lawrence, you know, the FBI agent, I actually have authority over you.
    Cop – I’m gonna need to see some ID.
    “woman” – sure thing sugga, but it’s under the fat suit.
    Cop – Lets take a ride down to the station.

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    Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  35. klb

    If that bitch behind me photobombs me one more time, Imma gonna kick her ass.

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    Rating: 1.7/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 10 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  36. Sarah

    You betta tell that woman to bring me back the last box of twinkies now or shits gonna get ugly up in here!!!

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    Rating: 2.5/5 (4 votes cast)
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    Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  37. Brian

    ” You betta lemme go or I’ma eat you too !”

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (4 votes cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  38. David G.

    “No ma’am, not Walmart’s dress code…humanity’s.”

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    Rating: 4.9/5 (15 votes cast)
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    Rating: +26 (from 28 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  39. john harleyrider

    im tellin you the truth officer i didn’t eat that ladies baby

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    Rating: 1.7/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  40. Michael

    Cop:Ma’am, you need to calm down.
    Woman: He’ll nah! That bitch told me I couldn’t come in with just a bra on! I only pulled her hair doe.

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    Rating: 3.6/5 (7 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  41. Kimberly

    outa the way officer
    i dont wanna walk around you
    aint nobody got time for that!!!!

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    Rating: 1.3/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  42. joe t

    what you talkin bout willis.

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: -6 (from 10 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  43. LAM

    Yes, dis is a shower curtain round my waist. I did takes it from the Home Beautification Departments. My other one got ripped down when I dropped the soap in da shower and it got caughts between the cheeks of my ass and I tored it down. How if you want it back you better call your homies cause dis one is going home wit me. Any querstions? I didn’t think so.

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    Rating: 3.7/5 (7 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 8 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  44. TOM

    Lady – The sign clearly said “free samples” and there are out of fried chicken samples
    Cop- did you really call the police for that ?
    Lady – yes i did the sign said free samples there was no limit i got family on the way down for dinner
    Cop – ma ma thats not right
    white lady in the back – Look at me look at me iam going to be on Cops

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    Rating: 3.5/5 (6 votes cast)
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    Rating: +6 (from 12 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  45. art

    I toll you $100 to kiss my ass

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  46. Eric

    Photobomb: Hey, I’ve got Girl Scout Cookies back here!

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    Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  47. PoolTime

    Officer, I tell you dat I were wearin’ dese flip flops when I went into Walmart!

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  48. Nick

    why won’t you believe me that I’m the sexy green M&M?

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    Rating: 3.3/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  49. Kay

    “He called me Ursula, when you can see OH-FEE-SIR I’m obviously the little mermaid.”

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  50. mike reiley

    yo better back yo white ass up aint you hear bout obama .. this shit be free motherfucker

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    Rating: 3.3/5 (7 votes cast)
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    Rating: +9 (from 17 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  51. PoolTime

    Officer I told you dat I were wearin’ dese flip flops when I got to WalMart!

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  52. Joey BadaBing

    For a good time call “911″

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: +4 (from 6 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  53. Murphy Sterling

    Cop: Ah! Sweet mystery of life
    At last I’ve found thee
    Ah! I know at last the secret of it all!

    Lady: All the longing, seeking, striving, waiting, yearning
    The burning hopes, the joy and idle tears that fall

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  54. Melissa

    Lady: You want to take me to Dinner? Cop: Why yes Mam, you look famished and I just love your sense of Walmart Style

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  55. Marsha

    that ho took my corner, so i hafta be’s at walmarts now.

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  56. Jen

    Cop: “You’re under arrest for indecent exposure and fashion choices.”

    Lady: “Ain’t nobody got time for that.”

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
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    Rating: +1 (from 7 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  57. Jack Voelker

    Leroy! It’s you! Man, I haven’t seen you since we were both defensive linemen at Lincoln High!

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    Rating: 4.8/5 (4 votes cast)
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    Rating: +7 (from 9 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  58. randall

    Whatchu mean body cavity search?

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    Rating: 3.3/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  59. Baked Waker

    Dayum, Christina Aguilera really overdid the fake tan this time!

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: +1 (from 7 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  60. DRJECK

    “No really, I am Beth from Dog the Bounty Hunter!”

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    Rating: 2.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: +1 (from 5 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  61. darren

    Is telling you officer I aint taking no lip from a cashier! When she said miss its one customer at a time , you have to tell your belly only to go first , I went and slapped her!

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    Rating: 4.7/5 (7 votes cast)
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    Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  62. JLeigh

    “You don’t think I am the only tan bleach blonde hottie in this piece do you?”

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

    February 21st, 2013

  63. S.D. York

    “Awfulsuh, Ahm tellin you dat Wired Al Yankuhwiz bin followin me roun de sto an Ah bleev he foto bombin us rite now!”

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    Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)
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    Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  64. TheInternetCenZor

    “I can votes, surve on juries, gits me a drivuh’s license, owns me a gun, and breed likes kudzu, youse understands me, ya whitey racist?”
    “Mam, I was just asking for your clarification on E equal MC squared–”

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    Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 5 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  65. Eisai Brody

    Yo cains’t taks to me diz way I iz impohtant! I’z be a blonde now!

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  66. Scott

    Officer there is a woman stuck in my butt crack…

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    Rating: 3.8/5 (4 votes cast)
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    Rating: +4 (from 8 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  67. S.D. York

    Awfulsuh, I tellin you dat Wired Al Yankawiz a’bin followin me roun de sto an I fraid he tryin to foto-bom dis conversation. My boyfren tryin to take my picture in my new outfit!

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  68. Jeff

    Where oh where is that little green man?

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  69. nathan

    I tell you under the sea life is better, take it from me. You see sebastian and Lord Triton over there, they be waiting for me.

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  70. John

    “Look I am tellin ya Brawndo gots what plants crave”

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    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
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    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  71. wendy miller

    Officer, she is lying in her confession. She did not eat me. I am right here! Can’t you see me? I’m Stuck in her BUTTCHEEKS!

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  72. brenda

    Give it back or im calling for back up to search you. Its gonna take more that just two hands!

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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    February 21st, 2013

  73. Cybr

    Well, the manager claims you stole a pair of “Sponge-bob” flip-flops.

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
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    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  74. Chris

    My baby daddy is late on his payments, dat’s why my roots are black.

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    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  75. Natasha

    Lady – Listen here Mr. po po! I said there’s a fure.
    Cop- a what? Fire?
    Lady – Yeah a fure! I ain’t got no time for this!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  76. Sarno

    Lil Kim has now become Big Ass Kim

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 6 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  77. PPLWATCHER

    “So THAT’S where my tablecloth disappeared to!”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  78. Tammy

    Listen here copper, I control the world’s donut supple! What you willing to do for one pretty boy??! Lol

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -4 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  79. Tammy

    why am i being moderated???

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  80. odessie

    “Now I KNOW I saw twinkies in there last week!”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  81. K

    Ma’am you’re being arrested for not stealing a shirt.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 4.2/5 (6 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +6 (from 10 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  82. Amanda

    “I don’t care what that heffa had said. This ain’t a tablecloth I’m wearin’!” The cop said, “Ma’am, it still has the clearance tag on it!”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.3/5 (3 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +4 (from 6 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  83. rainey

    “Maam, I have a warrant for your arrest.”
    “Fo what?!”
    “The fashion police said you can’t be out in public like that.”
    “Damn! Shaneekwaa was right! I’m hot sh

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.7/5 (3 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  84. Nicole Sauder

    See? Look…that crazy bitch is STILL behind me, isn’t she?! She wants my goodies, officer, I just know it!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 2.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  85. Swank

    Lady behind the behemoth: “Move that camera! Can’t you see I’ve found an awesome spot for Hide and Seek?!”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  86. missy

    When the Fashion Police is necessary.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  87. Ava Ray

    Officer… Ain’t Nobody got time for this… Kool-Aid is rolled back this week. Buy two, get one…

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  88. Chihuahua Mom

    Whahchu TALKIN’ ’bout Willis? Of course I’m a natural blonde!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -4 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  89. Watertender

    What watermelons officer? Dem’s mah ASS CHEEKS!!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 4.2/5 (5 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  90. Doug

    “I done told you, I don’t care if it look like green drapes.. it is a damn skirt.. you ain’t the damn fashion police!”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  91. Brad Chapman

    What do ya mean, what i’m wearing is a crime.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.5/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  92. TC

    No, No, No!!!!!! My lowest price is $15

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  93. AMY

    Lady : well uhh ummm my babydaddy cum up here to see all the POW. I told him I’m his and he is mine. So all does hoes on POW better not look at my MAN!!

    Officer : Well hate to break it to ya ma’am but you are the hoe on POW right now. See that camera? Gottcha! :)

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 2.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  94. Scott

    Mele Kalikimaka

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  95. Matt

    What is the frequency, Kenneth?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  96. rob

    office hes the one dat stole mah kfc

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  97. Mike

    I aint got time for that!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  98. Juan

    You won’t throw my ass in jail if I blow you and your partner over there?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  99. RHSEA

    Must be Honolulu
    -
    No one in Hilo would dress that conservatively.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.5/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  100. Amy

    Lady: “Officer, I understand my kids waz actin’ up, but if you want to arrest anybody, you gonna have to find one of their daddies. Each one has a different daddy so you got a good shot at findin’ one of ‘em. SOME body needs to take responsibility for deez kids!”

    Officer” “But they are YOUR kids, right?! I mean, they came out of YOUR belly, right?! And you’re having another?!”

    Lady in background: “Ooh, a man in uniform….I love a man in uniform! Over here, officer!”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.8/5 (5 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  101. L Marsh

    No shirt, no shoes, no service?!?!?!!!! This IS a shirt!!!!!!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

    February 21st, 2013

  102. Michael Noble

    Hey officer, pull my finger!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 2.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  103. doug

    if you let me go an gets him you can gets you all dis sweet chocolate

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)

    February 21st, 2013

  104. michael wyrsch

    Hi officer Koharsky. I thought I smelled a pork product of some kind.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  105. Skiddy

    Officer: ‘Ma’am, if you don’t mind me asking- how did that watermelon up there?”

    Lady(?): “Me jus satz on it and its just slips right in der. Why you askin? I didn’t steal nuttin’, I jus satz me az ona big ol’ pile a watermelons cus I be tired.”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  106. Lisa

    They are samples, not all you can eat buffet.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 4.0/5 (4 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)

    February 21st, 2013

  107. michael barbarisi

    I am a hula girl at the Kentucky Fried Chicken right there acroos the street. I was just getting more gravy.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)

    February 21st, 2013

  108. Not Me

    Lady: “This nigga ain’t scared of no Po-Po.”
    Cop: “This Po-Po gonna beat your fat nigga ass!”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -3 (from 5 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  109. LEAH

    You can’t prove I stole those underpants. I dare you to try.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  110. VietnamVet

    Didn’t you see the Load Limit sign?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.0/5 (3 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  111. chad

    officer you knows damn good and well i have the right to park in dat handicaped spot. i gots bad knees and sweats a lot

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 4.0/5 (3 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

    February 21st, 2013

  112. Jessica Hamlin

    Clothes?! Ain’t nobody got time for ‘dat…

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  113. jet

    I won’t pull your damned finger.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  114. cc

    Sorry officer I smashed her on the wall on my way out cause we couldn’t both fit through the doorway.It was an accident

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.7/5 (3 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +4 (from 6 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  115. vandalfan

    No, officer, the acanthus leaf is used in CORINTHIAN entablature, not DORIC!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 6 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  116. geoffrey mate

    aint nobody got time for that

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  117. Otto deFay

    “Pardon me officer, do you have any Grey Poupon?”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  118. jewelryjunkie

    if that white bitch dont get out from behind me, i’m gonna come up out these flip flops and kick her white ass

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.5/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  119. Daniel

    I Assure you officer, The chicken had legs.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)

    February 21st, 2013

  120. Troy

    I give that cracka a beat down cuz he told me there be a weight limit fo spandex, threw a 5 dolla bill at me and told me to go git a shirt in the big mamma section!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 3 votes)

    February 21st, 2013

  121. Emma

    They’re exchanging Your Mommas so Fat jokes.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 5 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  122. adam

    That one was you and I smell it.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 2.7/5 (3 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  123. Adolphus Maximus

    I wonder if this woman placed a bottle of liquor between her legs and tried to walk out with it? Don’t you remember that episode of “Worlds Dumbest Criminals”?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  124. Matt

    Hi im bam margera and welcome to fat ass….

    ((notice random guy in back))

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  125. Stacy

    Oh Lawd yes….you want donuts, you go to Jimmy’s place. Down on Oak by ‘dat bitch Shanikwa’s ho house.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -3 (from 3 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  126. Sweaty

    Cop: Ok baby, If you didn’t do nutt’in why did you run?

    Lady: “Cuz i waz scerrd!”

    Cop: well you know we have the atpe from the store, we saw you stealling all of that meat, and stuffing it up under your shirt.”

    Lady: “No you didn’t, I an’t dun nutt’in wrong!!, I was just tring to cool off”, ” I gots 6 chuldren and my old man is locked up wit ya’ll, I wuz just tring to feed my kidz”" ” You don’t know me!, You don’t know me!’

    Cop: Yes I do!, Baby I locked you up last week on a warrent!” Come on and get in the car….if you try to run again I’m going to taze you and watch you flop around on the floor like a wounded caow, and post the vid, on youtube…”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 2.5/5 (4 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 4 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  127. gray

    “You tell dat tramp she can have her almost lifesize cardboard cutout of Sigourney Weaver back AFTER she apologises for sayin ma VPL looks like I put my panties on backwards….”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 4 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  128. bubba

    Listen lady,they saw you put the freezer under your skirt.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -1 (from 1 vote)

    February 22nd, 2013

  129. Stanimal

    Mmmmhmmm Ah no dat’s rite! How YOU dern!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  130. Walletto

    Cop: We have reason to suspect that you were inside this Walmart eating small children.

    Lady: *Belch* I don’t know nothin’ ain’t nobody got time for dat.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  131. wickedangel

    That skinny bitch over there got between me and the bacon and I was all OH HELL NO! and it was ON!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 4.7/5 (3 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  132. Gerry

    “Gumbyzilla” the Wal-Mart Tragedy! No sir my name is GUMYZILLA! Not GUMBY! I aint lying. Dem kids thought I was gumby and started pulling on me to take pictures. Next things I know I am beins pulled down and I fell on one of dem kids. I did not means to hurt dat childrens I Swear!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 2.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  133. Mike

    The said I cant buy my schlitz malt liquor with food stamps …I mean you drink it dat men it food right!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +3 (from 3 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  134. Kris Romriell

    Ocifer, I swear that bitch just run up to me, pulled my wig and STOLE MY TWINKIES!!!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  135. Cee Gee

    “Yeah, officah… dat murr-fukka ova yonda done stole my bag uh mursh-mellahs.”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  136. Brian Ingenthron

    Of course I know the skirt is see through! Do you really think that should be on the top of my list of shit to worry about?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 1.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  137. G

    Why are you asking me about a missing bedsheet?

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 22nd, 2013

  138. Beth Johnson

    They don’t sell Twinkies ’cause Hostess went out of business? Oh hell no!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 3.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

    February 23rd, 2013

  139. Dog Wonder

    Dat woman called me a me a fat sleazebag with a bad wig.

    Dis is the best wig I got!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 4.5/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

    February 23rd, 2013

  140. Scott

    “those cigs under my gunt is mine from home, so is that toaster, and that Tyler Perry DVD, and that…

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 4.8/5 (4 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

    February 23rd, 2013

  141. Martini Fourtwenty

    “I’ll see you on da Maury show & dat DNA test gonna PROVE you da baby daddy!”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (3 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

    February 23rd, 2013

  142. Randy

    Well, Mr. Ociffer, I was fixin to try on a grass that was my size when I was 18 when that pervert over thur’ peeped me out under the dressin’ room door so I sat on him with my spare tire.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: -2 (from 2 votes)

    February 23rd, 2013

  143. Lordjerra

    I assume you came for the free dounut give away too, but i was here first officer!!!!!!!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

    February 23rd, 2013

  144. Jayme

    Werll officer , he looked so yummy. So I ate the cashier .

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 23rd, 2013

  145. CG

    There’s no hope in recovering that donuts, she ate them all.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 23rd, 2013

  146. Kathy

    Yo, Foo’! Yo makin’ me late fo my swimsuit modelin’ job!

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +1 (from 1 vote)

    February 23rd, 2013

  147. tish

    And dens I tol her, “you better pack dat bag, or I’m gonna pack yo azz”.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 23rd, 2013

  148. john

    I’m bet, the carpet doesn’t match the curtains.

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: +2 (from 2 votes)

    February 24th, 2013

  149. PickMEpickMEpickME

    “You better get that fool who snapped my picture, I aint gonna be on that People of Wal-Mart site.”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 0 votes)

    February 24th, 2013

  150. Sabrina

    Lady- “I don’t know what you think i need arrestin’ for! I had a free sample of the chicken! That’s all I done!”
    Officer- “Ma’am, you consumed 3 full chickens from the deli. That’s theft.”
    Lady- “It was a big sample! Okay!!! Now get off my back before I b***** slap you outta that uniform.”
    Officer reaches for his walkie- “I’m gonna need back up! Bring fried chicken and a taser!”

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
    Rating: 0 (from 2 votes)

    February 24th, 2013

  151. ITHINKISHARTED

    HEFTY HEFTY HEFTY

    VA:F [1.9.22_1171]
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    February 24th, 2013

  152. Jessica

    Fiona ain’t got nothing on me!

    (Shrek)

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    February 24th, 2013

  153. Chuck

    You best be keepin’ dem eyes up here

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    February 25th, 2013

  154. Rob

    Dat’s right Bitch took my sammich!!!!

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    February 25th, 2013

  155. Steve H.

    All I wanted to do was to put that container of Sensa and that Zumba dvd on lay away

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    February 25th, 2013

  156. Mugglemage

    “…and so if you gon’ use dat Tazer it’s $25, but for just the nightstick it’s only $22, I’ll drop it to $20 if I can coat that nightstick in buttah tho, baybeh…”

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    February 25th, 2013

  157. Christine

    I swear officer I didn’t steal a shower curtain, it’s a skirt!

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    February 25th, 2013

  158. Bobbi Brown

    Officer: Did you steal the cookie out the cookie jar?

    Woman: Who me?

    Officer: Yes you!

    Woman: Couldn’t be!

    Officer: Then who?

    Woman: I’m not sure–but I just farted…

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    February 26th, 2013

  159. SHUNEEKWAH8T

    Another fine example of generational welfare and fatherless child rearing. Way to go Jesse Jackson, you’ve helped completely dumb down your own race!

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    February 26th, 2013

  160. Shannon

    “Then he said he was taking my picture for peopleofwalmart.com. That’s when I bitch slapped him!”

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    February 26th, 2013

  161. Cassie

    ‘What do you mean They don’t have any cold pop? Ain’t no body got time for that~’

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    February 26th, 2013

  162. April

    Can you see what ima spellin?

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    February 26th, 2013

  163. Lofwana

    Policeman: “Lady you is one big fat nigga”
    Lady: “And you sir are one wetback in a uniform”.
    Policeman: “Eeww I smell fat nigga pussay”
    Lady: “Nah, dat’s just my love canal pheromones. How else do you think I get myself 6 kids under 10 at my age? Yep: niggas love stinky nigga cunt!”

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    February 27th, 2013

  164. bob

    ya i’s voted fo osbama. nows gits me my frees insurance!!

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    February 27th, 2013

  165. tom

    No, I said I am the little mermaid and that bitch said I needed to pay for the Kool Aid with my picture on it. Well no way honey that’s not how Ariel gets down baby.

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    February 27th, 2013

  166. Michelle Fox

    I was told that there was free fried chicken today!

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    February 27th, 2013

  167. tom

    No, I said I am the little mermaid and that bitch said I needed to pay for the Kool Aid with my picture on it. Well, no way honey, that’s not how Ariel gets down baby.

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    February 27th, 2013

  168. InfiniteWisdumb

    Excuse me ma’am, do the carpet match the drapes? “yes” “ewww how?”

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    February 27th, 2013

  169. dion

    I know u know where the BEST donuts are. So tell me now and no one gets cut……..just saying

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    February 28th, 2013

  170. Puckfreak

    That officer over there said he wasnt going to do a cavity search, and I demand one!!!

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    February 28th, 2013

  171. Dimitriy

    Why you been call’d about inappropriate exposure? That wan’t my tit hangin’ out, ‘was my back roll.

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    March 1st, 2013

  172. Sydney

    I SWEAR officer, he stole my french fries!

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    March 1st, 2013

  173. Robert forester

    “Hey osifer… can I havs yo numba?”

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    March 2nd, 2013

  174. mike

    i’s aint stole no curtainsi wore this skirt in

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    March 2nd, 2013

  175. John Smith

    Hey KoolAid! Now where did I leave my pitcher?

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    March 2nd, 2013

  176. Yvonne Hicks

    Officer i do not have a rack of lamb stuffed in my panties

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    March 2nd, 2013

  177. joe

    “Need to tell that white girl to stop playing, bitch always be bombing mah foh-toes.”

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    March 3rd, 2013

  178. trey

    Girl don’t make me take my weave out

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    March 3rd, 2013

  179. Steve T

    HWAA HWAA HWAA! HE NOT A JEDI BOODOO!

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    March 3rd, 2013

  180. Volnjax

    “No you didn’t just call me a whale…..? I’m a mermaid…!”

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    March 4th, 2013

  181. carla w

    “I’m telin ya afficer..the kids’ in here be trippin’..they keep on hiding under my skirt sayin “hey some1 turned the lights off under this circus tent, and it smells funny in here too!!”

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    March 5th, 2013

  182. RunForItMarty

    I did not steal this white woman, officer. She’s came with my exclusive, limited edition black spandex halter top, and she always got my back, okaay?

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    March 5th, 2013

  183. Dalia m

    “Officer, Ain’t nobody got time for dat!”

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    March 6th, 2013

  184. Willie W

    I’m right here! To the left of the rhino, no your left!

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    March 7th, 2013

  185. valgale

    Ma’am, I have to ask, did you stay at the Green Sheet Hotel last night? They said they’s missin’ a bed ruffle!

    That’s ‘cuz somebody stole my clothes, I’m not lyin’! That’s why I’m at this here WalMart, I swear! I wouldn’t never wear this color, jus’ ask my white friend Bunny!

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    March 9th, 2013

  186. Ed Loften

    Me hungry Morlock did the Eloi go that way cause i want some ribs.

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    March 9th, 2013

  187. Barbara Walters

    Mah name is Star Jones and ah aym a law-yah!

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    March 10th, 2013

  188. Amy

    Cop- What seems to be the trouble mam?

    Woman- That Mofo over there took the LAST box of Ding Dongs n it had MY name on it! I WANT MY DING DONGS !!

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    March 11th, 2013

  189. Johnny D

    “Officer, in your professional opinion, do you think this skirt makes me look fat?”

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    March 12th, 2013

  190. Steve Golden

    Officer that cord hanging down goes to my vibrator and not to a DVD player.

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    March 13th, 2013

  191. mamamia

    “that cracker over there just called me Sigmund the Sea Monster and I want to press charges officer!”

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    March 16th, 2013

  192. JK7459

    I swar to Gawd I dindt eat dat Baby

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    March 16th, 2013

  193. Stefanya

    “Fool… you ain’t gettin’ this McShake….”

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    March 16th, 2013

  194. g-nee

    this is fashion police… it is illegal to look this sexy! damn girl…

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    March 19th, 2013

  195. Justin Phillips

    Occifer, there ain’t no way i stole a duck call and stink bait. i ain’t even got no pockets!

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    March 19th, 2013

  196. Megan Hurrell

    Den he tried to touch my tittie… den he stole my kernel! You better find him osiffer!

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    March 22nd, 2013

  197. Marknlutz

    You better remember,,,,Barack Obama is President.

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    March 24th, 2013

  198. Jessica

    “Officer, I have the right to bare arms!”

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    March 27th, 2013

  199. Michael

    Better question, whats Harry Styles doing in the background?

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    March 29th, 2013

  200. Wonkypops

    “…and if I see that stupid, white-ass, honky, perm-headed Cracker bi- she’s right behind me, isn’t she?”

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    March 29th, 2013

  201. Shannon

    No ma’am, I don’t think you’re shoo-in for “The Little Mermaid” costume contest, I mean for one one thing, Ariel had red hair…

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    April 1st, 2013

  202. Chris

    Is that Carrot top in the back ground.

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    April 5th, 2013

  203. Tasha

    Officer that lady over der just stole the last tub of crisco oil out my cart and Igot to do hair hurr wit dat tonight!

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    April 7th, 2013

  204. zack

    “It was that foo who stole my pants, oh why didn’t I notice him? I don’t know all I know was that I was on my fifth twenty five piece KFC fried chicken combo when it happened.”

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    April 30th, 2013

  205. TW

    Waitaminute, are you telling me that I, too, can become a police officer?

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    May 6th, 2013

  206. House of Payne

    “Ohh good Lawd, I smelled burnin’ bbq and I jus ran out tha house– din’t put on shoes or a top or nuffin. Just grabbed my curtains to wrap around my private area, Jesus. I jus thought, “Burning Bbq?! Lawd Jesus, ain’t nobody got time fo dat!”

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    May 8th, 2013

  207. Mandy

    I pay your f*cking salary…

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    May 15th, 2013

  208. Angie

    Officer, I just want my money back. They told me this tent would sleep 6. Clearly they LIED!

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    May 22nd, 2013

  209. HUe

    “im sawry ocifer, but he took the cheetos, Nd then I tol’ him you best not touch dose funions.”

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    August 19th, 2013

  210. stephen west

    Huh??? you’s da fashon police… you caint write me no ticket its not my fault my flipflops not matchin my outfit.

    cop: why’s that.

    Cuz my daughter puts em on me, i cant reach em and i aint seen em in years…

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    January 21st, 2014

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