Wonder what Captain Save-A-Hoe is saying here? What do you guys think? Funniest caption in the comments below wins a thong worn by Rosie O’Donnell!
115 Comments | In: Featured Creature, Funny, Random, Walmart Fashion
it that’s the prize, I AIN’T PLAYIN’!
May 23rd, 2013
With that prize you will have no entries.
… and her ass was about “yeah” wide…
“No, seriously. It’s about this long.”
“it is my duty to rescue that booty” !
“If your rear was just this much bigger, you’d look exactly like Kim K!”
And we all wrote the same thing – “Oh, yes, it’s that big…..”
Abracadabra, bubblebutt and thunder thighs appear NOW! Voila!
“I can make yer booty this big!”
No – Really – Seriously – when I wear the Red Cape My Mighty Sword gets THIS BIG !
“Hey Cher! Wanna see why they call me Super Long Dong?”
G Spot Finder
I christen thee Lady Large Ass.
. . . Not yet,. . . We need to find a wide screen that’s just a tad wider !!
. . . Not yet . . . We need to find a wider screen that’s just a tad wider !!
“I’m Swat man! Hold still! I’ll get that fly that’s buzzing around your head!”
“If the TV was this much bigger, I am sure your ass would no longer block the tv”
“So, your ass would only look THIS big on this TV, but we have other widescreen and panoramic options, not to mention caped mustache rides down on aisle 69. Is any of this turning you on?”
Walmart is selling Presale tickets for Superman movie and the electronics people where made to wear these the day the Presale started
Chick on right (thinking): When Wal-Mart advertised early viewing passes for “Man of Steel,” I honestly expected something else.
Greetings ma’am, Captain Obvious here… and contrary to what your boyfriend may tell you, this (makes hand gesture) is not the preferred 6′ viewing distance from this television.
No habla English.
“Naw, seriously baby, just think about it! With my super powers and your phat azz, we would unstoppable, novia! Ven aqui, mami. Come to papi.”
So I says to her “Lois you know I just can’t resist them big booty bitches”…..
Wait don’t buy one you know your brother Jamal will steal one for you.
Why are you looking at him when you have me right here next to you???
Captain Asshat’s only weakness was the Krytoass
Ma’am, it’s my duty to inform you you must be “this” wide to ride this ride…
Unfortunately, I’m going to have to ask you to exit the store in an orderly fashion….
“You know I’m faster than a speeding bullet, Right?”
It doesn’t matter if I’m faster than a speeding bullet – it’s this big!
I know I have super powers, but you only asked me to make the cankles disappear.
hocus pocus move that fat ass so i can focus
Hocus Pocus, move that fat ass so i can focus!!!!!
As I interpret it, Captain Cape’s hand gesture is demonstrating the Large Lady’s splayed feet. No doubt in an attempt to get her to pose in a more feminine fashion. Why else would Captain Cape be communicating with her???
“Stop squinting, Lady. I promise. It’s a lot larger than it appears.”
…And this is how I dance with my blow up girlfriend in between Dinner and World of Warcraft…
I need to pay a visit to this Walmart, minus the the dude with the plastic cape that he got from the party isle for tables, and get with woman with the long hair and nice booty.
“Your ass must be this wide to ride.”
May 24th, 2013
“I’m this big and hard as steel”
You voted for Obama twice? I felt like I had something this big up my 4$$ from his first term!
You all need to stop hating on the brown rounds. Plenty of men love the nice thick brown rounds. If you can handle it(inexperienced with curves and hands), i would not even reply. Being curvy, with a nice shape makes others feel intimidated and insecure heh?
I caught “THIS” sheboon shoplifting, quick call animal control services!!
If you bend a little more, the price will get reduced too.
If my penis is this big now you can only imagine how big it’s going to get when I activate my super penis powers.
Here is the bucket of chicken you ordered
Faster than a speeding bullet!…
More powerful than a Locomotive!…….
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound!!!!……
But sweet Thang? I can’t get ovah that fine azz ‘o YOURS!
‘M ovah hee yah and lemee be ‘yo supah daddy!!!
Know ‘wha I’m sayin’?
Sup ! my nigga
She is one of the smarter wal-people to appear on this site. She managed to work it so that she could shop with shart-stains on her overstretched pants and not have people notice.
LOL Robert Todd
Now just picture this on the wall in the Hoe Cave!
“Yes, I gets dat TV size question alot about when yo’ measure a TV side to side, it don’ never match wit what da advertised inches. Dis is ’cause the TV makin’ place adds in da foam used to pack the box to ship it. Management don’ call me “Electronics Superhero’ for nuttin’…I knows my stuff even what da TV makers don’ wan’ me to knows!!!”
For just $39.99 I can make your ass only this big.
“This TV has a feature that can make you look lighter in 10 pound increments until your waist looks this small.”
and the TV in my parent’s basement where I live only has a screen that big.
If you step back about this far then you can advertise thar you really are a $5 whore
Isn’t a Rosie ODonnell thong just a 20 foot piece of rope?
“You’ll probably want a wider screen cuz your ass will totally block out this one.”
“Well your asshole has to be this wide for that display to fit” Looking at dat ass I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.
With a wave of my magic “Wand” you will find a bed near by and feel the urge to sleep with me!!
Bubba Sparxxx is still trying to sell Ms. New Booty!
May 25th, 2013
Welcome to Walmart, I am Captain Bootie and I can measure the size of most bottom biscuits with my x-ray vision. Yours is ‘this’ big!
Movie still from “The Adventures of AssMan”
This is actually for the superman promotion that is going on for the new movie. Some stores got a few capes for employees to wear. No one in my store did because it looks ridiculous.
May 26th, 2013
Seriously, it’s that much bigger than this television
I know where this was at! I saw him! I could not get my camera on my phone up in time.
May 27th, 2013
MAGICIAN: Poof! You’re a fat ass.
Captain Save A Hoe!!!!
Has no one else noticed that under her ass has a brown tint?
If you think your ass is this wide wait till you see our new 50inch tv
May 28th, 2013
Your ass should be this big. Not that big.
Um, is it just me or does she look like she sat in some Sh*t.
“The power of Samsung compels you!”
“Look, alls I’m say is, it was this big when I caught him with the monkey. I got that there video playin right there!”
May 30th, 2013
Are you sure this isn’t K-Mart? Because it looks like she just shipped her pants…
I ain’t lyin’. It really IS this big.
“If your ass is wider than a flat-screen TV, you shouldn’t wear spandex”
June 2nd, 2013
Im pretty sure this was in Centereach, NY … i saw the same cape on an employee by the photo booth!!
June 3rd, 2013
SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!! This associate is supporting the CHKD drive by wearing that Superman cape….its worn until a certain total is met by Volunteer Associates. We’re doing it at my store and we’ve raised $45K so far.
“Now for a really great picture, what you need is Super-HD.”
June 5th, 2013
“Ma’am, I am the Fashion Police. You need to fill out an application to wear those pants. And you should probably trim up those dread locks. Thank you for your cooperation. Up, up, and away……”
If you buy this TV today, you also get my patented super joystick that’s this big absolutely free!
June 7th, 2013
Is that st cloud superman?
June 10th, 2013
You do know, the bigger the tv, the bigger the #@$k will look when you’re watchin’ porn.”
June 17th, 2013
Akira, Is that you?
June 28th, 2013
That is in Belvidere Illinois… That guy rang me up.
July 7th, 2013
i swear ..its this long, i shouldnt have to PAY
July 8th, 2013
Ive been told Im “this close” to being an actual super hero, and welcome to Wal Mart
July 11th, 2013
last week I fought a crime this big
July 14th, 2013
Man: I used to date a girl with an ass this wide. But you’re pretty close.
July 19th, 2013
I wouldn’t touch you with a stick this long!
July 20th, 2013
You would have to be Superman to spread those thighs!
July 27th, 2013
Dat Super ASS!
“I can be your hero, Baby”
east coast Marty
I’m holding my imaginary t.v. that I will be bringing back to my imaginary bat cave!
Rosie’s ass cheek is this big, I swear!
“You know, I can fly faster than that jet!……really I can”
“I am Captain LovesBigButt, Conquering butts THIS big and larger wherever I go!”
Danger… Carlos Danger… AKA Weiner…
I want the thong worn by HER ! He,he.
can u handle one THIS BIG? it’s wanting for you.
“You wouldn’t believe it, but it was this long. It wrapped all the way around the bowl. I even saw some corn and peanuts, although I don’t remember eating any peanuts…
You see Madam, yoga pants are a privilege-not a right!!!
And they bring you food from a door this wide at the Asylum. You should see it.
“Look ma’am. Let’s say I’m fighting an alien eel-monster who’s head is like this wide. I’d easily be able to smash it through this Monitor lacerating his primary jugular, and as you may know, eel-monsters have just one, killing it almost instantly. That’s what you really need to look for when buying a Monitor; it’s weapon potential, all Super Heroes would tell you that.”
Lady: “That’s nice but, I’m just getting some of this heavy-stock paper…”
July 29th, 2013
its pantyman here to save your pantys from hungry ass cracks
August 2nd, 2013
I love bis asses – I cannot lie! I would hit that in a hurry grrrrrr
Captain Evervirgin successfully repels yet another of the opposite sex.
“Ayo, I’m ’bout to Superman dat hoe”
Honey, I think we should get a 10 inch television
Your ass is definitely bigger than the screen, homemade sex tapes of you cannot be seen on this little screen!
I have a 16 inch screen hanging on the wall of my crib.
“Listen lady, if you want me to save the day a be goddamn superman or something, buying a TV that you have to lean in to be able to see AIN’T GONNA HELP YOUR FAT A$$”
August 3rd, 2013
now,bend over this far…………….
Tamar The Bored
And Bam! That’s how you Twerk.
August 20th, 2013
“I’m a RoBoT”
September 6th, 2013
I’d comment but I’m not interested in the prize. Gotta make it worth while
October 24th, 2013