Chapped



426

So your dick was dry and cracking due to exposure to wind?

Ohio

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Chapped, 8.8 out of 10 based on 18 ratings

272 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. i so know that feeling

    http://www.randomblog.org

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    November 2nd, 2009

  2. it was a long dry spell, dont ask

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    November 2nd, 2009

  3. Peter

    I just get fed up with idiots that wear offensive shirts like this in public. I cant wait to try an explain this to my 9 year old.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  4. Says the man . . . . . . .

    Says the man who is carrying a bunch of bananas. gross . . . .

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    November 2nd, 2009

  5. kcmookie

    I am sure his chapped lips smell like dick, just sayin…..

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    November 2nd, 2009

  6. Andy

    Wait… it’s a little blurry, does that say his D*** is the size of a chapstick. Sorry man, tough luck!

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  7. chris

    probably smells more like preparation H

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    November 2nd, 2009

  8. AmyM

    I definitely know where that creep can put those bananas

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    November 2nd, 2009

  9. MegaFart

    Yeah, as if he can bend over to smell it.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  10. Amanda-in-Austin

    I don’t understand the desire to wear shirts with profanity in public either. I’ve seen stuff that’s funny in a weird, almost profane way, but the in your face words ‘fuck’ ‘dick’ ‘shit’ bug me.

    But maybe I’m just an uptight prude. :)

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    November 2nd, 2009

  11. POW fan club

    When freedom of speech goes a little too far. There are innocent children out there who are reading this crap!

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    November 2nd, 2009

  12. akajondoe

    Mine smells like his moms cheap trailer park chapstick.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  13. Walmart good, Target Bad!!!

    Why do people feel the need to announce their fetishes on t-shirts?

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  14. Funny, I just wrote/recorded a song called “Chapstick Weather.” There’s nothing about anyone’s dick in it though…

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  15. Patrick

    I’d like to know how he smelled it? He must be very flexible.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  16. Paul

    It’s well known that people who wear shirts like this. Get no action…..

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    November 2nd, 2009

  17. what’s the matter ..couldn’t find the KY

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    November 2nd, 2009

  18. DivaLove18

    Too much information…

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  19. mike

    more like a crap stick mostlikely

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    November 2nd, 2009

  20. BuccaneerDave

    who wants to hear about, let alone see his chapped up member

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  21. I bet he thinks he’s gonna get a hot date with that shirt.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  22. Allie Fury

    You know, they offer topical creams for that. I doubt chopstick is going to clear it up.

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  23. wt4k

    nasty

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    November 2nd, 2009

  24. DEB

    Well isn’t that special… Then I guess it’s safe to assume your armpits smell like febreeze and that your ass smells like summer after it rains…that’s pleasant.

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  25. informed

    This shirt is a band t shirt the band is called Emilys Toybox

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  26. CTT

    This is a t-shirt for a band, which has a song with that name.

    http://www.emilystoybox.com

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  27. Stu Pendous

    Now we know how the Democrates win Ohio. How ever I
    think this gut lost his right to vote when he went to the big house.

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  28. Suzy8track

    And he knows this because?…….

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  29. Brent

    Can’t imagine chapstick is a good lubricant. Why can’t he borrow his mom’s Vaseline Intensive Care like normal white trash?

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  30. Big Daddy

    WOW…What can I say except…..LOSER!!!

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  31. mekkah high

    I cannot even understand why you would wear this!

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  32. Bunker Bob

    His ass probably smells like KY jelly!

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  33. Laura

    sorry to burst your bubbles, but it IS a title of a song by Emily’s Toybox.

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  34. Victhsht

    I wonder if his boyfriend uses the cherry or the original

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  35. slick

    and because its the title of a song, that makes it less stupid on a t shirt ?

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  36. Victoria

    If its dry and cracking I somehow doubt its due to wind exposure.

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  37. Grandmasdrinking

    Goats & Sheep can’t read. What’s his reason for the ad?
    His breath smells like preparation H.

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  38. shigrl94

    I think that the shirt is alright. People that are making the negative comments should consider that maybe others think that the way they dress is offensive also. So let the people with a sense of humor be. Everyone has the right to dress and be who they want to be with constitutional rights, the freedom to be who we want to. So those who are making negative comments on these type of shirts should sit down and think about other problems in this world, not some shirt thats just a joke.

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  39. OneLove

    Is that a bottle of lube in one hand and bananas in the other….. looks like chapstick wont be the only thing his dick smells like….

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  40. WAZEL

    more like vasoline… ooohh

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  41. Rachel

    I did not realize Chapstick had started selling antibiotics.

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  42. LynnZee

    Sadly, I know the origin of this shirt. There is a sh*tty band called Emily’s Toybox that used to play bars around my town (I don’t remember where they’re actually from) and this was the chorus of their most popular song.

    Yuck.

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  43. Rob

    Does Chapstick have a smell?

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  44. Lorie

    I’m sorry Laura but just because it is a title of a song does not make this an appropriate shirt to wear out in public. Seriously!!!

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  45. Jessica

    Was going to say it, Laura apparently beat me to it….ETB people. sorry ya don’t know.

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  46. April

    Thats horribly disgusting! Shouldn’t even be allowed to make clothing like this, much less wear it.

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  47. Playa

    It takes a loser to have to announce that on a T-shirt.

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  48. TARGET GOOD, WALMART BAD!!!

    More class acts at the local Walmart, jeez!

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  49. Politically Incorrect

    Funny. It’s the same size too……………….

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  50. kevin

    Same size too

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  51. Bean

    I can’t understand why I never see these shirts being worn in a nice restaurant or even Sears for that matter…

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  52. NJMom

    and THAT ladies and gentlemen is why I go to Target.

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  53. mark

    Unfortunately he is a Scout leader.

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  54. Nobody

    We had a friend that used to call Chapstick……………..Chaplick.

    Sounds like the same thing going on here.

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  55. james

    Chapstick smells like Valtrex?

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  56. Politically Incorrect

    Dangerous Walmart you’ve got there.

    Guy in background is stabbing Linda Blair (think about it)

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  57. Brookelyn

    I’d hi it.

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  58. Sara

    What he fails to realize, is that his dick is probably also the size of a tube of chap stick.

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  59. jennie

    HE SHIRT SHOULD ALSO SAY i AM A MASTER AT YOGA, CAUSE THAT IS HOW I GOT THE CHAPSTICK FROM MY LIPS TO MY DICK!

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  60. Shadopilot

    I bet it smells more like Nivea with a touch of vintage Hustler magazine.

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  61. Professor Vile

    Meanwhile, Napoleon Dynamite is trying to figure out how he ended up in Ohio, puking up blood with broken glasses and no memory of the past 24-hours.

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  62. michele

    stay classy, ohio…

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  63. pam

    Medicated chapstick, pretty sure. YYYYUUUUCCCCKKKK!!

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  64. Nicole

    notice he said chapstick, not lip stick or lip gloss. What scent does prison lip balm have anyways? I bet its strawberries.

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  65. pam

    Medicated chapstick, I’m sure.

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  66. Dave

    this is a T shirt from a band in pa. they rock http://www.emilystoybox.com/

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  67. ChronicWanderer

    His blow-up doll also smells like chapstick. What a coincidence.

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  68. teenameena

    I’m sure he knows this because he’s such a loser that he has to resort to sucking his own.
    What a Loser.

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  69. Wow, whatever company who manufactured that shirt were probably DESPERATE!! lol

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  70. Jason

    I saw this one and just have to make a comment… WHAT KIND OF STUPID, LOW LIFE DOUCHEBAG would wear a shirt like that in publice. What kind of inbread MORONS raised this TRASH????!!!!!!

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  71. Rj

    Wow, I didn’t notice Linda Blair until Politically Incorrect pointed her out. That’s super creepy lol

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  72. Galt-Wally

    So…. you bragging or complaining?

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  73. Rick

    This T-Shirt is from a local band called Emily’s Toybox. This is an actual song of theres, and they made t-shirts. They are a pretty good band, but use a lot of teenage boy humor. The whole crowd sings this line with them during the song. It’s hysterical. It’s pretty wild that a guy from OHIO is whering a t-shirt from a local band from Harrisburg PA.

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  74. Circe

    I’ll bet he’s hung like a Chapstick too.

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  75. Small-Wart

    If his dick is waxy, can we assume he’s as thick as a candle wick?

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  76. danny1881

    That make classy girls wanna talk to you!

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  77. Rum

    I just want to know what flavor chapstick it smells like. I mean, is it the nasty medicinal smelling one, or is it something good like cherry? haha

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  78. sayheysandiego

    Now I don’t know anything bout this guy’s momma, but can you imagine trying to explain the need to post this on his own body? Makes me wonder bout the family pool!!

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  79. Nobody

    And Richard Simmons didn’t tell me he switched from Carmex……………

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  80. Former Ohio-ian

    I knew there was a reason I moved out of Ohio. Those folks just aren’t right.

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  81. Politically Incorrect

    SHADOPILOT:

    Quite possibly the funniest comment I have ever read.

    (And I have 550+ votes on the “dead corpse” photo). Your reply is much more witty!

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  82. Circe

    You’ll be a big hit at the dog park. Off you go.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  83. eve

    I’m pretty sure chapstick doesn’t work on the clap.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  84. Laura

    his hand uses Chapstick too

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    November 2nd, 2009

  85. CaveAdsum

    Guy needs a lesson in manners. Obviously born of a harlot and raised in a barnyard by a herd of swine to have so little manners and common sense to wear this in public.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  86. His dick actually smells like hand lotion and herpes.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  87. dogbar bill

    Maybe he was packing fudge and ran out of KY jelly.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  88. Shell

    Gross

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    November 2nd, 2009

  89. Angie

    it’s an Emily’s Toybox shirt, they are a band that is from south central PA… and that is the chorus to one of their original songs, not that it makes a good T shirt :)

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    November 2nd, 2009

  90. mike

    not to defend this loser, but for further explanation, anyway…

    there was a band that used to play at my college and this was a line from one of their stupid songs. they used to sell these shirts after the show.

    why they would include that line in their song, AND why they would put it on a shirt, AND why someone would buy that shirt AND why that person would then wear it in public is ALL beyond me, but that is where the shirt came from, in case anyone wondered.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  91. Is that something we are supposed to be impressed with? Do we REALLY care that his obviously tiny appendage smells like chapstick? I’m sure the chapstick company cares!!!

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    November 2nd, 2009

  92. Horky the living Spoodge

    He wishes he had a penis.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  93. WalMartSux

    And, I bet your breath smells like DICK!!!

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    November 2nd, 2009

  94. Dribble

    ironically he is buying bananas

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    November 2nd, 2009

  95. Walmart good, Target Bad!!!

    Obviously we all know that he trying to brag about “gett’in some”, but this just proves why it is important to use proper hygiene; you never know where those Walmart girls mouth’s have been.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  96. Circe

    Yeah right, maybe when Chapstick makes a head cheese flavor.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  97. PARAGON OF VIRTUE

    Hmmm …
    STRANGE, THAT SHIRT INSCRIPTION, THE BANANAS IN HIS LEFT HAND …
    VERY STRANGE!!

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    November 2nd, 2009

  98. silly09

    I hate those shirts! I once had to wait on a guy at work who was wearing a shirt that said “I prefer shaved beavers”. it had a picture of a cartoon beaver shaving his face. I was so offended. I would not want my mom or my sister to have to look at this trash. I am not sure why wal-mart does not ask ppl like this to just leave and come back when they get good sense.

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  99. straykat

    Why on earth do people wear this stuff in public???? Sad.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  100. Pook

    That is offensive, there are women and children all around. His nose is going to smell like my fist if we ever cross paths.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  101. Kittyhead

    I want to know just why this is printed on a t-shirt, and who thought it was a good idea? Old Mr. Barnum was right, there’s a sucker born every minute!

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  102. WalMartSux

    Walmart lets their white trash customers wear stuff like that in their stores. Anything for a sale. No scruples, hence….WALMARTSUX!!!

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    November 2nd, 2009

  103. Okeey Dokeey

    My asshole smells like Astroglide

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  104. duh

    um, this is a band t-shirt. The band is called Emily’s toybox, they’re out of carlisle, pa and play in ohio a LOT

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  105. no prob bob

    while still offensive, that shirt is not totally random, it’s lyrics from a song by a band in PA called emily’s toybox. funny song…. not funny enough to make wearing the lyrics in public not completely inappropriate.

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  106. Vince

    If you don’t like it don’t look at it! Being a parent means you have to explain things you don’t always want to. I would tell my daughter that he is a vile obscene man with no respect for others. She obviously doesn’t need details. It his right to express himself however vulgar it may be. It is also our right to tell him he is a douche but whining about here is pointless. Just laugh knowing there is 99.9 percent chance that your life is better than his

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    November 2nd, 2009

  107. SoulChaserJ

    This T is from my favorite band, Emily’s Toybox

    http://www.emilystoybox.com

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    November 2nd, 2009

  108. makksk

    Ugh, this is why I hate living in Ohio.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  109. David Spade

    And of course the tattoos again…

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  110. David Spade

    And last time I checked chapstick was a unisex product…..maybe Lipstick would be a better way to complete the offensive shirt.

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  111. Timmy Johns

    Actually the shirt is from a bad Emilys Toy box it is the name of an album of theirs

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  112. Jbsorens

    I’m no prude, but can we just throw all these shirts in pile and burn them?? Kids and the rest of us don’t need to read this shit!!! Out in public. These people are totally useless. Grow Up already!!!

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  113. DDDD

    I bet this a-hole cant find his own dick!

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  114. rufustfirefly

    I thought Walmart was a “family” store?

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  115. Liz

    Seriously, if you feel the need to wear this on your t-shirt, chances are that it’s not true…

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  116. BIFF

    What a retard. I would venture to say he probably doesnt have a full set of teeth either.

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  117. FormerWalmartian

    Tell your boyfriend there are better lubricants. Oh and by the by, if your goal is to make it as crystal clear as possible to all who have the misfortune of coming to within forty feet of you, why not simply write
    “Im a stupid loser” on you shirt instead?

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  118. Sancho

    Would someone please tell this idiot that chapstick is not a substitute for penicillan!

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  119. k

    the tshirt has song lyrics on it. the band is emily’s toybox

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  120. CheesyRider

    Whoever took this photo was obviously trembling with the excitement of being “behind” that guy.

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  121. Dawn W.

    my question is…where do people GET these shirts in the first place? Who is selling them, and what makes them think that selling them is OK?? Really? Not even appropriate for sitting around in the privacy of one’s own home, let alone anywhere out in public!

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  122. Manda

    Wonder if this guy knows females aren’t the only one who wear chapstick. What I would like to know is how the hell he knows what his own dick smells like and why he is smelling it in the first place. Most guys wouldn’t advertise their dick smelling like anything, I doubt this guy gets any and I would pity any lady stupid enough to date a guy who sniffs his own member and wears a tee shirt talking about it.

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  123. I agree with lorie, just because it’s a song title does not mean that the words aren’t offensive. There’s a time and place, and a dept. store is NOT the place.

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  124. JTM

    typo on the shirt printing: should read “My dick is the size of chapstick”.

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  125. Gab

    I believe that’s an Emily’s Toy Box t-shirt….a great band…and totally off the wall. Saw them in State College at the Saloon once. :)

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  126. Jennifer

    yuk this is the first time a photo from this website has actually turned my stomach, and i’ve seen them all!

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  127. Moons in Leo

    Seems like so many of the shirts the trash wear to Walmart are from lousy bands that nobody’s ever heard of who just want to get noticed.

    This guy’s going home to feed the bananas to his monkey and slap some chapstick on the little bugger’s lips.

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  128. Degringolade

    Unrelated: he’s had ribs removed and is wearing Chapstick.

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  129. Shadopilot

    and his anus smells like Cruex !

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  130. Nobody

    http://www.emilystoybox.com/gear.htm

    Scroll down to tee shirts

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  131. coop

    “Cool! So what scent chapstick does your mom wear?”

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  132. Rachel

    That shirt is stupid, but the implied gay bashing in about half of these comments is much worse.

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  133. Kathy

    How ironic is it that this guy is allowed to walk around Wal-Mart with this profane and offensive shirt on, but Wal-Mart would not sell the CD from the band who printed up the shirts and wrote the song in the first place?

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  134. Tiffanie

    I wonder what his breath smells like?

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  135. chinese crap4sale

    And your breath smells like dick

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  136. Iminthezone

    My guess is that he’s trying to lure in overworked trailer park whores that have been giving head jobs all day and have badly chapped lips. I guess if that don’t work he’s gonna bait em with the bananas.

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  137. Some Guy

    How funny, I have a t-shirt that says, “I sold some random jackass a t-shirt and a tube of Chapstick as a cure for his crawling dandruff.”

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  138. Devo

    The band that accompanies this shirt is just as tasteless. They are the worst band in State College with a regular weekly gig. The basis of THEIR songs feature immature lyrics sung by a guy who cant get over his Faith No More imitation voice.

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  139. crashintome

    This is actually a song from a band called Emily’s Toybox.

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  140. Allen

    only if they make POOP scented chapstick. You’re not fooling anyone, we know where you put that thing.

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  141. Frank563

    Bad dog, go back to your trailer- GO

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  142. chickychickytata

    hmm the strawberry or cherry kind?

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  143. DEE

    Shame on Walmart for subjecting their customers to these obscene t-shirts and butt cracks. They need to set a store policy regarding dress and have people removed if they are deemed offensive to others. So they lose some customers. No parent should feel like they are taking their child into a porno store when they go to a Walmart. Walmart makes billions and billions — losing a few deadbeat customers won’t hurt their profits.

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  144. Smuggy

    Worst part. His OWN mother has an addiction to chapstick

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  145. littlemary

    i live in ohio…i wonder what store…? this pisses me off, i wouldn’t want my daughter or any children to see this.

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  146. Lee

    Attention Wal-Mart security staff & employees: why do you let profane t-shirts into your store? You need to tell these people to leave – why are they allowed to roam around for everyone to see?

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  147. Wal Enforcer

    He needs an ass whoopin’ for wearing that…

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  148. IntactAmerica

    It’s only chapped because he’s circumcised, dried and desensitized…

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  149. shelly

    “and after tonight, my anus will smell like bananas.”

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  150. Shelli

    this is a shirt for a band called Emily’ toy box out of Harrisburg, PA they have a song called Bionic an that line is in it! haha that is soooo awesome!

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  151. I bet that shirt is a big hit at the club.

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  152. Shelli

    its a band Tshirt..the Band is Emily’s Toy Box based outta Harrisburg, PA one of their popular songs is called Bionic an its a verse in the chorus!

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  153. Lumpy Rutherford

    People that wear T shirts like this have to be brain dead. Pull the plug, please. Socialism darwinism is alive and well here.

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  154. Katastrafee

    It’s a T-Shirt from the Band Emily’s Toybox. It’s also a title of one of the songs they do.

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  155. Yolie Bolie

    my pooty smells like beans

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  156. Lady Anne

    Does chapstick come in menthol? And Kathy is correct – it is ironic that Wal-Mart won’t sell the records (CDs, whatever) from that band because they want to be seen as “family friendly” but they allow folks to wear this sort of clothing. So what if he gets mad and refuses to come back to the store. He doesn’t look like a big spender to me!

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  157. HarleyQuinn420

    If you dont like it dont look at it. problem solved. im fairly sure that everyone has worn said or done something that others found offensive. just remember before you judge anyone make sure your own hands are clean first.

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  158. shebeast

    Sweet, I’ve see a guy in this shirt at our local college bar, I really want remind these dudes that chapstick doesn’t heal genital warts…so you’re wasting your time smearing it on your d*ck!

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    November 2nd, 2009

  159. Big Gay AL

    Let me tell ya, honey, it may smell like chapstick but this piece of man candy has a tool that tast like my poo………

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    November 2nd, 2009

  160. Ima Bedurdanu

    What are the bananas for?

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    November 2nd, 2009

  161. KP

    Aero Smith had a song with lyrics “suck on my big ten inch”…..but I would NEVER put this on a shirt to wear in public…..it’s just poor taste no matter the source…

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    November 2nd, 2009

  162. aprilicious

    All I can say is LOSER!!!!!

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    November 2nd, 2009

  163. Bob

    And his buddy’s dick smells like bananas

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    November 2nd, 2009

  164. joe

    That’s funny because your wife’s pussy tastes like carmex

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    November 2nd, 2009

  165. CJ

    So his penis is a tasteless petroleum product?

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    November 2nd, 2009

  166. A mushy, tasteless petroleum product…

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    November 2nd, 2009

  167. Yeah Right

    Hey Buddy. Next time tell the guy to wipe off the chapstick before he goes down on you.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  168. Diane

    And the bananas are for practice???

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    November 2nd, 2009

  169. PATRICK

    …And his ass smells like banana.

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    November 2nd, 2009

  170. Allen

    “scuze me, do y’all sell gerbals here?”

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    November 3rd, 2009

  171. jessica

    does it really matter if the phrase is from a song? it does not need to be printed on a shirt for any reason. the fact that people actually buy these shirts makes them no better than the crackheaded band (yes i youtubed them and listened and i DONT suggest it).

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    November 3rd, 2009

  172. maybe he plays trumpet. one never knows with some guys.

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    November 3rd, 2009

  173. Dani

    It’s a band’s Tshirt. And a fantastic band at that! Good for him for showing love for ETB.

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    November 3rd, 2009

  174. College student

    That is the tagline of a cover band based in Pennsylvania

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    November 3rd, 2009

  175. Rebecca O

    soo….. ummm… where do you even find such “enlightening” shirts? I refuse to believe that he was smart enough to make it himself. After all it is such a catchy phrase.

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    November 3rd, 2009

  176. ashley

    I look at this and wonder why Europeans make fun of Americans….oh wait.. I get it

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    November 3rd, 2009

  177. Imascab

    Did anyone see that movie “Idiocracy?”
    It was so accurate about the dumbing down of society it’s scary.
    This guys shirt/mentality would fit right in.

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    November 3rd, 2009

  178. Callie

    That shirt is from the band Emily’s Toybox. The t-shirt was promoting the title of one of their songs.

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    November 3rd, 2009

  179. DNS

    (1) How do you know?
    (2) Why are you proud of that fact?

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    November 3rd, 2009

  180. Bonny

    They didn’t have room to print the rest of it, it’s supposed to say , ” and so does my hand. “

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    November 3rd, 2009

  181. THIS SURE LOOKS LIKE AN INVITATION TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC…YOU THINK HE CARES IF THE RESPONDENT IS MALE OR FEMALE…HE SHOULD GET TOGETHER W/THE DUDE WEARING THE “TITTIES & BEER..THANK GOD I’M NOT GAY” T-SHIRT…

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    November 3rd, 2009

  182. Livingturd

    Don’t sweat the guy for being talented, he obviously can suck his own if he knows it smells like Chapstick. And I guess he sucked it so much it chapped. :)

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    November 3rd, 2009

  183. Lumpy Rutherford

    I guess the only other shirt he owns, the one with “I AM A MORON” on the front, is in a pile, on the floor of his trailer, at the Dirt Bag Acres Trailer Park.

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    November 3rd, 2009

  184. Justin

    You people fail to realise that most people wear these shirts to piss liberal douchbags like yourselves off. Ya’ll keep sayin “i;m so offended, How does someone wear such a thing” It’s a fuckin t-shirt, get the fuck over it.

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    November 3rd, 2009

  185. an-on-emus

    I don’t know but doesn’t a guy lose cool points for being able to smell his own dick? Does it reek that bad or is he missing a vertebrae?

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    November 3rd, 2009

  186. Amy

    Must have run out of Vaseline…

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    November 3rd, 2009

  187. ctran

    haha this is a tshirt from a band in my area on pa. and trust me… the best place for those who go to their shows is a walmart

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    November 3rd, 2009

  188. pauline

    yall need to get a life so the fuck what his shirt says i think its funny. get over your selves

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    November 3rd, 2009

  189. Lunaress

    Hey guys.. your right this is funny… but you guys rock.. and I still love the song… These people need to just lighten up a little.. when their children turn into teens.. they’re gonna be goin home from hot dates smelling like other stuff.. I’d rather S*** one smelling like chapstick.. than one smellin like PP.. :P

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    November 3rd, 2009

  190. chris krchnavi # ETB FAN

    its a band they are offensive so if you don’t like it then piss off and peter if you have a 9 year old im sure youve had your dick sucked!

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    November 3rd, 2009

  191. SpeedKixX

    All you self-righteous assholes need to shut the fuck up – if you don’t like it DON’T read it – that is why we have a 1st amendment ! I don’t give people a bunch of shit when they wear their religious/thug/redneck/ whatever stupid shit they have on .
    If you don’t like their music don’t listen and don’t go to their shows that is YOUR choice – and I choose to wear this exact same t-shirt whenever and wherever I want and if you don’t like it – Kiss My Ass…

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    November 3rd, 2009

  192. Rosalie Hassinger

    Actually it is lyrics from the song Neurotic by Emily’s Toybox most only wear the shirts to concerts myself a girl included. I ahve had my shirt on my myspace for over three years never saw such over reaction to comedy in my life but if it helps the boys so be it. For those who enjoy rocking original music and Have a sense of humor checkout

    http://www.emilystoybox.com

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    November 3rd, 2009

  193. A huge fan

    Love the band, Love the Tshirt, Love the song!

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    November 3rd, 2009

  194. Michon Zalewski

    I have one of these shirts. And I don’t even have a penis. Anyone here know what band/song inspired this shirt? Anyone? Beuller? Beuller?

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    November 3rd, 2009

  195. It’s a band based outside Harrisburg PA, deal with it.. it’s life, like someone mentioned you have to explain things you may not want to, don’t got to go into detail just walk away and deal with it already.
    This band is just like any band ya’ll like just a band you don’t. They are good at what the do weather you agree or not.
    WORRY ABOUT GUNS BEIN TAKEN TO SCHOOL AND BULLIES, and letting your kids run loose and getting kidnapped before dising a damn shirt. you all are ridicualous poundrering this guy for a damn shirt.. there are worse things out there you could be bitching about seriously people!!!

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    November 3rd, 2009

  196. ETB fans

    Guys get over it! its a line of a song from a band thats from PA… my husband has the shirt too… tho i do agree it should not be worn to walmart or anywhere else young kids will be

    Emily’s Toybox ROX!!!

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    November 3rd, 2009

  197. Erin

    well maybe if you guys would listen to their stuff you would understand where that is coming from. i mean yea i understand that younger children shouldn’t be reading stuff like that but seriously give it a rest!

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    November 3rd, 2009

  198. crissy

    There is actually a band in PA that was the name of a song they wrote. That is one of their shirts.

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    November 3rd, 2009

  199. Oregonienne

    Strange, I’d imagine a straight guy would brag about his dick smelling like lipstick, not chapstick.

    Something you’re trying to tell us, sailor?

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    November 3rd, 2009

  200. Suzy Chapstick

    Is this because most chapstick users are dudes?

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    November 3rd, 2009

  201. Amy

    Let me go ahead and take your word for it!

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    November 4th, 2009

  202. SC-PA

    If you’ve ever listened to the band you’d understand. To the prudes out there. Maybe i don’t like seeing your face, but no one is gonna tell you to stay out of public places.

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    November 4th, 2009

  203. Miss Smee

    I’m sure people from Walmart read this website, so here’s my suggestion: If a person comes in to their store wearing an inappropriate shirt like this, ask them to turn it inside out. Disneyland does this and I’m sure the parents there appreciate DL’s effort to keep the park respectable.

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    November 4th, 2009

  204. sally

    Thats just disturbing lol

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    November 4th, 2009

  205. Fed up

    Has anyone actually ever stepped forward to complain to manangement about things like this that are offensive? Be bold America! If someone is wearing something, saying something, doing something that offends you, say something about it. Kindly tell them that you would view them as a much better person if they didn’t try to be so offensive. Bottom line, Don’t do anything to embarrass your family, your friends or yourself!

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    November 4th, 2009

  206. Andy

    That is a shirt from a band called Emily’s Toybox. They are pretty badass I’ve seen them a few times and have always loved that shirt.

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    November 4th, 2009

  207. Terry

    Ha….Ha…….LOL

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    November 4th, 2009

  208. cb

    I would rather my child be exposed to words than vulgar imagery, or (less than) scantily clad women. You can teach your kid not to repeat phrases, or that some words are inappropriate. You can’t sandpaper their brain to forget about the nuthugger pants someone is wearing, or partially exposed breasts someone is flaunting. I’ve heard worse things come out of the mouths of poorly parented 4 year olds.

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  209. Sean

    Hes a ladys man

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    November 4th, 2009

  210. Christie

    I’m from Allentown so I recognize the Emily’s Toy Box shirt, but the pics from Ohio. Crazy!

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    November 4th, 2009

  211. Greg

    I own this tshirt and wear a lot. everyone loves it. People need to chill out and have some fun. ETB is a great band.

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    November 4th, 2009

  212. Mondika

    Well wash it ….

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    November 4th, 2009

  213. Well I’ve gotta say in all these years that I had worked there, I’ve thought I’ve seen it all. To wear a shirt that says “My dick smells like chapstick” to me that’s pretty hillarious, but it’s a rather inapropriate place to wear something like that, especially with children in the store. the only public place that it’s acceptible to wear that is in a nite club or a bar not in a place where children can be exposed to such filthy language

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    November 4th, 2009

  214. Blistex

    I think that whomever is offended by this shirt should just appreciate that the guy HAD a shirt on that fit. At my local Walmart I’m more offended of the people whose shirts are too small and their fat hangs out about a foot below and swings as they walk. Emily’s Toybox just so happens to be a great band and is very successful..hence their being a shirt from the song Bionic(which is my ringtone) the whole way in Ohio when they are from a little town in Pa. They travel the East coast which is more than you can say for alot of bands. C’mon people and get a life. If you don’t like it go to another site and quit coming back to this one!

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    November 4th, 2009

  215. Mutt1126

    best caption ever.

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    November 5th, 2009

  216. Im still hooked on phonics

    AND A WIN FOR A GREAT BAND

    http://www.emilystoybox.com/

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    November 5th, 2009

  217. This is actually a band shirt. Emily’s Toybox was the name of the band is, they used to play at a club I worked at in PA. “My dick smells like chapstick” was the name of one of their songs.

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    November 5th, 2009

  218. jazs825

    He must be double jointed.. LMAO

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    November 5th, 2009

  219. jena

    LOVE THIS BAND!!! Emily’s Toybox comes to Key West pretty often… they always play at Sloppy Joes, they are great! and we love it when they come here! we actually were asked to buy a few of their shirts for our friends, they loved it so much….

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  220. crystal

    its a music group shirt and i own one!!! an awesome group called emilys toybox!!!!! sorry but if your kids can read this and understand what it means maybe you need to make sure they are not watching adult tv shows. i am pretty sure they dont teach you the word dick in school unless its from your kids’ friends. and why would you need to explain anything?? tell your kids that some people who use swear words when they talk also wear them on their clothes. thats it period end of story.

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    November 5th, 2009

  221. Mom of three kids

    hey i am a mom of three kids and i own this shirt and wear it out in public…..it is a band shirt EMILYS TOYBOX who kick ass and whats the big deal anyway….censorship is ridiculous and you cant keep everything from your kids…tv has worse words on it than dick…such as whore….slut….asshole….tell your kids that dick is a persons name

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    November 5th, 2009

  222. Rachel

    Took me a while to get (because I was so grossed out) but he’s implying he just got head. EW!! Even more “ew” for the for innuendo in that. How is that allowed in public? Seriously.

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    November 5th, 2009

  223. Troy

    I betting your chapstick taste like dick.

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    November 5th, 2009

  224. Enrique

    This explains why my Chap Stick smells like this dude’s dick.

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    November 5th, 2009

  225. TopCider'sSon

    What has not been said is that the wearer assumes those around him can’t smell his crotch from where they are standing.

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    November 5th, 2009

  226. scarymantra

    The front says, “My lips smell like Blue Star Ointment.”

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    November 6th, 2009

  227. AJ

    I love it when Emily’s Toybox comes to Key West! My friends and I watch them at least twice a year down here. They’re an excellent 80′s cover band, among other things. if you guys are offended by this little tee-shirt, do me a favor and NEVER come down here, especially with your children as this is an adult-oriented island. You’ll see more offensive tees and bongs in our store windows. Anyone who believes their children don’t already know about stuff like this is completely delusional.

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    November 7th, 2009

  228. CBGB

    ….then, the beautiful buxom broad with the flowing long hair, perfect body, and seductive eyes walks up to him in the register line and says, “ya know…. I’ve been looking for a clever guy who has a way with words. That shirt is just AMAZING!”

    I don’t care if its a band shirt… it still doesn’t change the fact that its totally tasteless…. and just STUPID. This is the shirt I would make sure to wear if I DIDN’T want to get laid.

    Oh, and by the way…. Emily’s Toybox sucks ass. They are just another totally washed down, over compressed, trying way too hard for shock value, HOT TOPIC ” TRYING to be punk/hardcore band”…. of which I’ve heard hundreds just like ‘em. SUCK SUCK SUCK-EEEEEEEEE!!!!!! The people who like crap bands like this are as unoriginal as the band itself…. But to those out there who like them…. maybe you’ll get lucky and see them in a late-night Denny’s menu next to the Hoobastank Burrito and the rest of the poser-ass sellouts.

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    November 7th, 2009

  229. Crystal

    I’m pretty sure you are all too easily offended and need to worry about things a little more important than a tshirt you find offensive…

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    November 7th, 2009

  230. buckeye

    I swear I saw this same guy a few years ago in Central OHIO at a charity volleyball tournament. Our team was playing his & he had this shirt on. I asked him why he was putting chapstick down there. He had no answer, he just smacked his lips and looked away. He looks like a total tard.

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    November 8th, 2009

  231. NoYouDidn't

    Really? Because all I smell is vinegar around here.

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    November 8th, 2009

  232. Marisa

    Only MEN wear Chapstick, not women!

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    November 8th, 2009

  233. freebird

    I will not be doing a Smell Yo.

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    November 8th, 2009

  234. Wendy

    That shirt is from a band Called Emily’s Toybox here in PA. They are awesome and travel to many states to play.

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    November 9th, 2009

  235. m.

    Way to rep the ToyBox.

    I don’t know what is worse on this website. The pictures that make me wanna pour bleach in my eyes. Or the PC losers bitching about them. These are supposed to be funny, get over yourselves people.

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    November 9th, 2009

  236. KWGirl

    I am sure to see this shirt without knowing its for a rock band would be offensive. Its great they have made it all the way to Ohio. I live and work in KW where they play at a local bar from time to time. They are a great group of people. If that shirt is too offensive for walmart then perhaps you haven’t seen the people that frequent a walmart!!

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    November 9th, 2009

  237. MUNKIB

    IM SURE HE’LL FIND A GIRLFRIEND LIKE THIS!!!!!!

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    November 9th, 2009

  238. Band-schmand

    Would someone please take away Mom of three kids’ children?

    Two words: Low Class

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    November 10th, 2009

  239. Sean

    i bet he uses that same chapstick on his lips to

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    November 10th, 2009

  240. Anne

    the real question is why he isn’t using lotion because all that chapstick probably gets expensive. He isn’t getting anything from anybody.

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    November 10th, 2009

  241. chiquitanana

    I KNOW I KNOW! his dick smells lke chapstick because of all the ten dollar blowjobs hes been getting from the overworked transvestites in the walmart mens bathroom!!!!!!! when their lips get dry they walk out an buy chappstick!!!

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    November 10th, 2009

  242. franklin p

    u guys r dicks…thats a funny shirt n yall r prolly uglier then him…by the way u dont get wut that funny ass shirt means ur a retard….clearly

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    November 10th, 2009

  243. Marie

    That is from Emily Toybox in Pa!!! It’s part of a song that they wrote!!

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    November 10th, 2009

  244. Any my Daddy is in the other isle buying more Chapstick!

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    November 11th, 2009

  245. Better Than You

    I love all the vile shit you retards say about wearing a shirt that says dick on it in public, makes it even better that you say that vile shit on a public website. hmmmm, they should cut all your fingers off and put them in a pile and burn them, that way they don’t type anything in public that is offensive.

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    November 12th, 2009

  246. kellypie

    Woo-Hoo Emily’s Toybox!!!! ETB rockin’ Wal-Mart hardcore! This shirt has been around for over a decade now and it all stemmed from the song “Bionic” written/performed by Pennsylvania band Emily’s Toybox….who put on one of THE BEST live shows I have ever seen! Much Love for ETB!

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    November 15th, 2009

  247. AnYaSmAmA

    I LOVE EMILYS TOYBOX……….great band…….and this song is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    November 16th, 2009

  248. Linny

    Funny….he didn’t look all that flexible…huh

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    November 19th, 2009

  249. Gin

    Emily’s Toybox ROOOOCKS! great song, hard to explain with just a T-shirt!!!

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    November 19th, 2009

  250. lword

    maybe using bananas as lube will work better than chapstick… i doubt it though…

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    November 19th, 2009

  251. lword

    wait! is this shirt supposed to be a crack at having some under-ager sucking his cock?! a lot of high/middle school girls use chapstick… that’s even more disgusting if thats what he means

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    November 19th, 2009

  252. ALEX

    EMILY’S TOYBOX ROCKS!!! I Love that song. haha

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    November 19th, 2009

  253. Very nice site!

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    November 20th, 2009

  254. Mary

    Emily’s Toybox is a great band. Pleased to see some Walmart goers appreciate it. :-) Listen to the music — the shirt is funny( rather than just offensive) once you do so.

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    November 21st, 2009

  255. Tim

    Emily’s Toybox would be proud!!!

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    November 22nd, 2009

  256. Tim

    P.S- I’m the BBBBOOOOOMMMMBBBB!

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    November 22nd, 2009

  257. Steve

    I’m a kid in the back talking trash in the back of the bus….

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    November 22nd, 2009

  258. Realdragon

    It’s probably the only part of him that smells halfway decent.

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    November 23rd, 2009

  259. Heather

    Did anyone else notice the lady in the background who looks like a demon?

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    November 23rd, 2009

  260. Ryan

    Why do you all take offense to this shit, when to only reason you go on this site is to look for this that offend, get ove yourselves. Yes, the shirt is from aband called Emilys Toybox andyes, they like to offend people. They are, after all, the band that fucks your mom! Get Better Soon Wade!

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    November 24th, 2009

  261. imdabomb

    “Neurotic, psychotic, I think I’m bionic
    I’m still hooked on phonics, just a few things you oughtta know
    I’m spastic, my cat’s sick MY DICK SMELLS LIKE CHAPSTICK
    I eat chinese with match sticks, just a few things you oughtta know.”

    Great lyrics by a really fun bar band. They’re not trying to reshape the world with their message of lyrical wonderment. They’re a bar band that writes fun songs for us drunk folk to sing to. It’s a great shirt and definitely one that should be kept in your dresser until it’s time for an Emilys Toybox show! Wicked fun band though. You guys should stop wasting your time with these foolish comments and find something constructive to do with your time… Oh wait.. I’m leaving foolish comments. I should go find something constructive to do. Let’s all go to emilystoybox.com!!!
    peace uurbody!

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    November 24th, 2009

  262. imdabomb

    If you recover half as fast as you rip those drums up you’ll be back in no time Wade! Get well soon Wade. Gotcha in my thoughts-n-prayers mang!

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    November 24th, 2009

  263. Cellblock Mama

    WE LOVE YOU MIKE FOR MAKING THAT SHIT!! The song ROCKS!
    Also for the Countless songs you wrote and sing that Rock every Club EMILY’S TOYBOX play’s.
    Mama will see you tonight! I wouldn’t miss you for the world!!
    As for everyone who hates the shit? WHATEVER!!!!
    It’s called Freedom People! I have seen worse!!!

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    November 27th, 2009

  264. THE TODD

    ETB Rocks!! As for everyone that’s worried about their kids seeing this shirt, I hope you don’t have a TV in your house, because you’ll find much worse things there. Get a freaking grip!

    Get better soon Wade!!!

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    November 28th, 2009

  265. PSU girl

    relax people, this is a shirt for a cover band that plays at Penn State and probably a couple of other campuses and this is what theirshirt says, hahah

    They’re a great band, called Emily’s Toybox

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    December 6th, 2009

  266. me

    To go with this shirt there is a song called my dick smells like chapstick. The Band is called Emily’s Toybox. They are from PA.

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    December 6th, 2009

  267. ” This person is doing what all should be able to do! what our four fathers went forth and died for. FREEDOM OF SPEECH! It doesn’t matter how its brought out or advertised, whether we like it or not we all have this right. As for the tree huggers who are worried about your children… I have children of my own but the ones that are old enough to read understand that there is not always going to be people in the world who is going to bend over to please them. Life is tough my thought to you would be stop worrying about someone else back and worry about what your child can determine what is right and what is wrong… People that complain about what someone else says or wears or however it may come across really needs to grow and just stay to themselves..!!!! Nobody likes you anyway!

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    December 15th, 2010

  268. Emily's Toy Box Sucks

    Great band??? Kick ass band??? You people must be joking. They’re a cover band. They play all over central PA and every time I’ve seen them it’s straight up covers. Another band making a living off another bands hard work and sweat. Truly pathetic. Yeah they’ve written a few originals, all of which are terrible, uninspired, lame ass attempts at composition music as well as writing lyrics. This is exactly the type of band I wish would disappear. Complete waste.

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    January 3rd, 2011

  269. pat

    i thought that shirt looked familiar…lol yeah my friend is real into ETB and has the shirt. i personally like the “momma lovin’” one. I can asure you that i was not raised by trailor trash, i do not own any firearms, i don’t hunt, rodeos smell like shit to me, i can’t stand country music, and i don’t have any sort of carnal relations with anyone in my own bloodline. I wear those types of shirts for two reasons: 1) I have been told since i was born that we in the United States of America have freedom of speech as granted to us by the Constitution of the United States. and 2) well, i get off on pissing people off. If it offends you, look away.

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    January 10th, 2011

  270. jay

    wow its amazing how people get affended by a shirt maybe i should post some of my shirts on here such as if u like it in the ass smile some people just dont have a good sence of humor anymore if shirts like this affend u stay the fuk in ur house then

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    January 22nd, 2011

  271. Josh

    Its a shirt for a band. “Emily’s Toybox”

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    August 14th, 2011

  272. KoleKarnage

    The scariest part of this picture is the exorcist woman that’s near the cashier. Creepy!!

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    November 17th, 2011

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