Purple camo huh? Purple! Where the hell are you going to hide in purple camo? A Baltimore Ravens game maybe? Those words shouldn’t even be allowed in the same sentence. That’s like a genius inbred. Sure it may exist, but it looks funny and what’s the point?

Indiana

But I don’t see your kids…..Ahhhhhhh, because you’re a bad mom. Okay. Okay. I see what you did there, can’t say I’m a fan of it, but at least you set the bar low for everyone’s expectations of you. One of those “can’t say I didn’t warn you” type of things. I getcha.

Ohio

Pennsylvania

Holy sh*t! Michael Jackson actually came back from the grave as a zombie just like he did in Thriller! Too soon?

Pennsylvania

Oh God! Oh my God man! Oh geez! Oh man a double rainbow!!! How’s does that even…oh my God! Oh geez man! Okay, that video and joke is now officially old and played out, and I apologize. Let’s stick with what we know: Who wears it better, Santa’s odd cousin or Mrs. Hippie Skittle?

New York & Texas

Well, thank God you had some common decency and were responsible enough to cover up those calves while you went out in public. There are just too many impressionable kids that could be exposed to that sort of sight!

Florida

Maybe he is just rooting for half of the team?

Texas

Ohh Little Boy Blue…why? Why did you have to grow up and disappoint us all? A fanny pack and legging socks? Really? You couldn’t just stick with the horn?

Louisiana

That’s just not fair! I don’t want to look but I have to. Then once I look, you have a fancy design on it so I forget exactly what it is I’m looking at so I continue to look until I remind myself that I’m staring at your damn funk factory! So knock it off, your tricks are mean and disturbing.

Oklahoma

I’m pretty sure she spelled out “Yes” in bags of Doritos and Funyuns… or she spelled out “No” in a restraining order.

California