It looks like your pants lost a paintball battle to your butthole.
If you two just start twerking on each other you’ll solve everyone’s problems. Maybe not ours, but yours for sure.
It’s time to play “Guess That Bodily Fluid”! Is it sweat, piss or something else? Winner gets to sniff it!
I think I found a paint swatch to match you. It’s call Poo-rific!