Usually when someone in public asks if I want to touch their lizard, I run as fast as I can.
What the H? Are the two of you some uncredited nameless seadogs in a pirate movie? It’s either that or by the looks of it, you two might be breeding raccoons for consumption.
You know what looks more badass than a dog in a papoose? Everything. F*cking everything! Everyone by now should know my stance on animals in Walmart, but if you are going to be a douche and bring little FooFoo in, let her walk on her own, it’s not her fault nobody wanted to make a baby with you.
I guess you could say it’s raining cats and dogs….huh? right? huh? get it? Yaaaaaaa!