If your shorts are so short that one of your twins is out for the world to see, you should probably address your situation.
No soup or salad for this guy. He only eats ham, bacon, or any other part of the pig.
Why would you have less clothing on in Walmart than you usually would at the beach?
C’mon man. Everybody knows that if you are going to wear tear-away pants, you gotta wear shorts underneath. There is always that one asshole who likes to grab and pull just so you are sitting there in your underwear.