Wanted: Lonely female looking to be overworked and under-appreciated both in the household and bedroom. Apply within.
Wow that’s a lot to take in on a Monday. I don’t even know how to process all that right now! At first I just assumed you were everybody’s Grandma when they get ready for jazzercise at the local Y, but then you just threw me for a loop with those Frankenstein boots and to be honest I had way too long of a weekend to strain my brain this early in the week.
A couple of weeks ago my husband and I stop at the local Wal-Mart to purchase a few last minute Halloween items. My husband had to use the restroom shortly after we walked-in so he heads for the men’s room at the front of the store and I stand and wait by a candy display by the restrooms.
While I’m standing their I notice a quintessential “crack whore” walk toward the display. You know the type; unbelievably thin, ratty hair, bad teeth, looks about 20 years older than she really is…. I watch her start to peruse the candy and she sort of starts mumbling angrily about the price. Then she looks up at me as if she just realized I was standing there, grabs a bag and starts heading toward the door.
I start to just forget about the situation when I hear the unmistakable “snap” of a plastic grocery bag. I look up and see Miss Crack Whore had taken a Wal-Mart shopping bag out of her coat and was stuffing the candy inside of it while marching toward the door as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Within a few seconds she had the candy in the bag and was out the door.
I used to work for a Wal-Mart years ago, so I know Loss Prevention is a big headache. I flag down a CSM and told her what I just whitnessed. She tells me she would alert security and they would view the camera footage.
A short time later my husband emerges from the bathroom, I tell him the story, and we start our shopping.
Lo and behold we come across Miss Crack Whore again! This time she had a bag of chips in her hand and was marching toward the door. We flag down another Wal-Mart employee and explain the situation. Nearest we can figure this woman was stealing everything on her grocery list one item at a time. We never did see what (if anything) came of it. It makes me laugh though to see what people are resorting to just get a “five finger discount”.
Oh God! Oh why oh why oh why would we show this to you?!?! Awwww, awwww, it’s nasty. Damn that’s gross! WHY?? – Here is why we showed it to you, for the same reason your junior high health teacher showed you drunk driving accident pictures…to scare you all straight! So, now that you’ve seen this maybe the rest of you will be considerate the next time you shit yourself and take it with you instead of leaving it for the rest of us.