Nothing screams “I’m Bossy” more than an ass tat, because clearly any idiot who is back there to see it must have no control over their decisions whatsoever. The unitentional cool part of her tattoo is when she stands up I’m pretty sure it turns into a face with a handlebar mustache!
I was at Walmart buying a bag of Purina dog chow in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no that I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle’s butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack because he was laughing so hard.
I present to you the Queen of the Wookies in all her glory! No other words need to be said, other than she is weavetastic, which isn’t even a word so technically I was right, no other words needed to be said.
Canada produces 2 of my favorite things in the entire world, (1) hockey and (2) Crown Royal Whiskey. Despite how much my love runs deep for both, even to the point where I couldn’t be convinced either had any flaw whatsoever, you have managed to bust my bubble of love with one fall swoop. For shame.