Thanks for leaving the rest of us with Sam’s Choice Cola you dick. Dr. Thunder and Mountain Lightning taste pretty damn close to the originals, but the Cola tastes like balls. Now, if your cart would have been filled with Cherokee Red, you probably would have gotten stabbed.
California & North Carolina
Listen, you don’t have to tell me how this is a medical issue, I get that and it sucks donkey balls. What I don’t get is why we need to let that boy hang outside of our pants for the world to see? You think I wanna be walking down the aisle not paying attention because I’m peeping that new Beiber CD and bump into your warm bag of piss? Well I don’t!!!
A Wilmington man is in jail, accused of driving drunk *inside* a local Walmart store while carrying a gun.
Officers say 25 year old Owen Stevens was riding in a battery-operated cart at the Walmart in Wilmington on Wednesday night around 11 p.m. He was reportedly crashing into store displays. Fellow shoppers also noticed that Stevens had a gun.
When cops got to the store, they found Stevens had an empty holster-but found the gun in a backpack near the front doors. They say Stevens as “highly intoxicated.” The gun was not loaded.
Stevens is charged with disorderly conduct and having weapons while intoxicated.
You see, what you’ve done is you have captured me in a dilemma here. I really wanna scream out in anger and curiosity as to why you have a f*cking goat in your car, but at the same time unlike most idiots, you’ve left your goat in the car rather than bring him in the store with you. So, in the spirit of fair play today, you shall pass.