Okay stop looking for something gross, you won’t find it. Well, self-cut jorts aren’t really the in thing right now but that’s not the point of this post. The point of this is for me to get something off my chest. If you have 5,000 items in your cart, I better not see you in self-checkout. It takes 42 minutes to get through 5 items on those damn things and you put half the store in your cart! Lines take forever in that place and every one of them is always full so when I run in to get 1 item and I see your buggy stocked for Armageddon, I about lose my shit. Knock it off people!
Yup, cause that is where underground piercings should be taking place at. Now I’m not saying you are probably a slut just because you are getting your belly button pierced, that would be too broad of a statement. I’m saying you are probably slutty because you are getting a belly button piercing in a Walmart parking lot….which is also likely the place 3 of your 7 kids will be conceived.
Hey! You want a happy ending, you go to Target. You want a sloppy dry tug and pull that will nearly break your crank off while people walk by, lay down right here and enjoy.
Sometimes being a crazy cat lady is too mainstream, I get that. Way to think outside the box. It’s very creepy lady from Home Alone 2 of you.