Stories

04.27.

It’s My Pet In A Box

I had been a CSM for about a year. We weren’t really busy that night so a bunch of us were standing at the service desk talking. A customer was returning a box of stuffing (the white fluff used to stuff pillows or teddy bears). She didn’t have her receipt so we used her ID and put the money on a gift card. No problems and she left. After a couple minutes, the box she returned started moving on its own and there were scratching noises coming from the inside. I’m thinking there is a mouse or a rat inside. We got a big clear trash bag and carefully emptied the contents of the box into this trash bag. We stare at the trash bag and notice something big moving. So, now I’m thinking…RAT! No, it was a white ferret. At some point before she brought this box to return it, her white pet ferret climbed into the box of white stuffing. Since we had used her ID, we called the local police station and gave them her drivers license number and they called her and she came and picked him up. But we had fun playing with him until she got there!

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03.31.

Walmart Bumper Cars

My son and I were walking back to our car which was parked way out near the street when we heard a squealing of tires and a crash. We looked over into the next row of parked cars to see a woman in a midsize green car pushing a parked car as she turned left. She pushed the parked car into the next 3 cars in that row crashing them all together like dominoes. Then she moved to the cars parked across the aisle and hit one of those pushing it into another 5 cars before she finally stopped. Making a total of 10 wrecked cars from one crazy WalMart driver (11 if you count hers). I grabbed my seven year old and ran away from the area. In case she started going again I didn’t want my son to be injured.

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03.10.

Bonding Time

I was shopping with my girlfriend and had to piss. I go into the bathroom and start pissing in one of the urinals. A dude was in the stall next to me. He was shitting. Very loudly. While he shat, he laughed hysterically and yelled:

Dude: “You like that, Garret? AHAHAHA!!! You like it?!!!”

Kids voice: “Yeah, daddy! More!”

Dude: “Here it comes…”

*FAAART*

Kid: “HAHAHA!!! MORE!”

*SHIT PLOPPING IN WATER*

After I finished peeing, I backed up to see under the stall and saw the legs of a man sitting on the toilet and the feet of a child standing, facing the man. I guess it’s a game they play?

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2 Comments Stories
08.04.

THOSE People

I live in a melting pot of different lifestyles, religions, backgrounds, etc. And apparently, ALL of them shop at Wal-Mart. Unfortunately for some of them, so do the “evangelical Christians” who have taken it upon themselves to minister to the heathens, and feel as though they have the right to do so in as rude and obnoxious a manner as they please.

I was raised by a Baptist mother who was intolerant of homosexuality, and because of this, I am raising my son to appreciate, respect, and love everyone, regardless of race, color, creed, and sexual orientation.

One day, while we were shopping for school clothes for my then 8-year old son, we were arguing about some clothes that I picked out for him. I thought they were cute, and he said they were too “baby-looking.” We were approached by a semi-flamboyant gay man who was also shopping with a small child, and he and I struck up a friendly conversation about boys and their taste in clothes as they get older, while the kids looked for things on the racks around us. My son picked up a shirt and said, “What about this one?” The man said, “That looks really nice. You have good taste!” We chatted for another minute, and then he and his child went on their way.

After they were out of earshot, a Pentecostal woman (I could tell her denomination by her long hair, long skirt, lack of jewelry or makeup, and the scowl on her face) walked up and said, “I wouldn’t buy ANYTHING for my child that was suggested by one of THOSE people.”
“Excuse me?” I said, immediately getting angry.

“It’s people like you, who are tolerant of those abominations, that will send this country straight to hell!” she replied.

I was at a loss for words, so incensed was I at this ignorance and hatred, trying to come up with something to say to get my point across without setting a bad example for my son. But my little boy, without missing a beat, says, “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but hating people for no reason will send you to hell faster than my mom being nice and talking to that nice man.”

The woman couldn’t really say anything after that, whether from embarrassment or anger I couldn’t tell. So I picked up my son, gave him a big kiss, and said to her, “Unless you come to Him like this little child, you shall not enter the kingdom of Heaven.” I know it wasn’t an exact quote, but I didn’t care. As I walked away, I said to my son, “Love, 1, Hate, 0.” And he high-fived me.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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