Unlocked: Join. Book. Save
Unlocked: Join. Book. Save

Stories

Unlocked: Join. Book. Save
08.23.

Donut Holes

A few years back I worked at a local Walmart as a cake decorator. In this particular Walmart we had a self serve donut case. The donuts were fried at around 5 am and left in the case until about 10 pm that night for customers to pick and choose from.

One night at around 6 pm I was working the front counter. The cake decorating counter was positioned where I could see customers approach with my peripheral vision. As I was bent over an icing bucket filling up a bag I heard a sort of high pitched gasp/squeak sound, and saw something blurry and yellow out of my side vision. As I stood up I saw a blonde standing in front of the donut case. Frizzy hair, acid washed denim mini skirt. Attached to her back was a man. He was leaning forward into her and she was leaning back against him. Overall it was actually a sort of sweet picture of open affection. UNTIL her skirt twitched.

I remember my eyes widening as the man removed his hand from under her skirt. This had of course been the reason she’d gasped in shock. He ran the finger under his nose, took a deep breath, and leaned past her and into the donut case to start picking up donuts. WITH HIS BARE HAND! The one that had just been under her skirt doing god only knows what.

At this point my mouth was hanging open. Had he? Was he? Did he? OH my god yes he did! As I watched he picked up several donuts and set them down, finally they made their selections and left. I immediately pulled every single donut in the case and trashed it. I just couldn’t stand idly by while customers bought food that I KNEW for a fact was contaminated and I couldn’t just pull a few that I suspected he had touched and feel good about it. In all fairness the donuts were probably already contaminated at that point as the customers were pretty nasty but the fact that I had seen them get touched by senor stinkfinger just made it worse.

Naturally I was chewed out by the bakery manager, even after I explained what I had seen and that I had an ethical obligation to make sure customers didn’t eat things that could possibly make them sick. Apparently the health and safety of customers came second to food cost.

Walmart was truly one job I NEVER regretted quitting.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 9.2/10 (26 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +10 (from 10 votes)
8 Comments Stories
07.14.

It’s Miley!

As a cashier I got the true blessing of scanning EVERYONE’S merchandise. As an overnight cashier I also seem to be blessed with the opportunity to see all the nighttime crazies.

A man came up to check out in my line with four pairs of Miley Cyrus jeans. I figured it was a present for a child, until he proceeded to say “I think that these will look really good on me.” He had told his wife prior to coming up to the register that he would meet her in the car so. Knowing that he wasn’t homosexual, I responded with “You do realize that these are girl’s pants, right? As I said it, his wife walked up and they both went “Ohhhhhh………..”

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 9.2/10 (22 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +3 (from 13 votes)
9 Comments Stories
Unlocked: Join. Book. Save
Unlocked: Join. Book. Save
04.14.

Sopping Up The Alcohol

I was doing some grocery shopping recently at my local Wal-Mart. A friend of mine, who is an employee there, stopped me and said “You’ve got to come and see this!” I followed him to the paper towel/toilet paper aisle, where there was a small crowd gathered, and pointed to the racks and said “Look behind the paper towels.” I looked, and what I saw was hilarious. A man, probably around 50 years old, was laying on a row of Bounty paper towels, sleeping. Next to him were several empty Busch Light cans and two bags of Cooler Ranch Doritos. My friend informed me that the police were on their way and that they hadn’t known how long the man had been there. When the police arrived, they made everyone back away so that they could extract sleeping beauty from his quicker-picker-upper mattress. When they pulled the man out, he was obviously intoxicated, and the police proceeded to ask him what he was doing. He answered them honestly, stating “Well, officer, I was gonna lay in there until closing time and I was gonna steal me a couple T.V.’s.” The police officer said in response “Sir, this is a 24-hour establishment. They don’t close..” The man said, “Well, no shit?”

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 9.2/10 (40 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +14 (from 18 votes)

Tags: ,

21 Comments Stories
08.04.

“Mom of the Year” Award Goes To…

Having spent my entire life in Texas with the exception of 7 years in Arkansas, I used to think that there was no way I would ever see displays of ignorance or idiocy akin to what I’d experienced in “Bill Clinton Land,” after returning home to Texas. Well, one fateful night at Wal-Mart in my home state, I was proven wrong.

Shortly upon entering the store, I’d noticed a rather large woman, who was visibly economically impaired. She had with her 4 children, 2 of them in nothing but diapers, and she had them all sitting in her buggy. The youngest of the babies was probably about 7 months old, and because it was close to 11 at night, the poor little thing was cranky and exhausted, not unlike his siblings, and understandably, the mother herself was rather frazzled and short tempered. I wanted to point out that if she had her children at home in the bed at such a late hour, she would probably not be in that situation, but I held my tongue because perhaps she was a working mom who just got off work or something, and had to go to the store for milk or other various necessities.

I was soon proven wrong on this, however, because I saw her a few minutes later in the beer and wine section, with cartons of ale and bottles of wine shoved in the basket in the available space not taken up by her children. And the littlest baby had decided that enough was enough, and was squalling so loudly it could have woken the dead. I felt sorry for the poor thing, and remembered that I had a brand new pacifier, still in the package, in my purse for any tantrum emergencies for my own baby. So I went up to the woman and said, “You must have your hands full. I have a new binky in my purse, it hasn’t been opened yet, you are welcome to it if you’d like.”

The woman blinked and said, “Oh, no, I don’t let my babies use those things. It’s bad for their teeth, and I think they need to have other ways of soothing themselves.” I shrugged and walked away to the dairy section, leaving behind the screaming baby, and a minute later I noticed the baby had stopped crying. Curious, I scanned the aisles to see what she had done to quiet him down. Well, the woman whose children were too good for pacifiers had given her child an unopened bottle of beer from one of her cartons and he was happily sucking on it. Go figure.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 9.2/10 (23 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +11 (from 11 votes)
4 Comments Stories
Unlocked: Join. Book. Save
Unlocked: Join. Book. Save
Unlocked: Join. Book. Save

People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

Three Ring Blogs