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03.15.

Fish Tales

I was an associate for a few years and often stocked the pets department. A woman once asked me if Walmart sold life preservers for fish.

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Rating: +5 (from 7 votes)

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12 Comments Stories
03.15.

Polly Want A Cracker?

While I am not a frequent WM shopper, I will occasionally pick up a roll of paper towels or Windex there. In our WM it is often easier to cut through the produce/food department to get to cleaning supplies since the main aisle is often clogged up with fatties looking at super deals on chips or clothes for their 10 kids. Well, as I was walking through produce one day, I heard a “squawk!”. I turned around to see a man with a parrot on his shoulder (no harness or anything, just on his shoulder), and bird poop down his back. I was in somewhat shock, wondering how exactly this man even got his parrot into the store. That’s when I saw him pluck a grape out of the bagged grapes, and hand it to the parrot. The bird ate most of the grape, but flung part of it to the floor. Then the man handed it another grape, which it partially ate flung onto the floor, and another which it didn’t even eat, it just kind of chewed on, flung it and it landed on a pile of apples. Then the bird pooped right on the floor and really started squawking. By that time, he had caught the attention of quite a few other shoppers, and a store employee approached him and asked him to leave immediately. He then began shouting about how they could not legally make him leave, since this was his SERVICE PARROT! He must’ve been prepared for this sort of situation, because he reached in his pocket and pulled out some sheet of paper he was explaining was a copy of the law regarding service animals, and that they had to allow him to have his bird. The employee told him service animal or not, he had to leave or they would report him for theft of the grapes. He picked the bird off his shoulder, sat it down on the produce stand, and started walking out. The employee chased after him, and told him he couldn’t leave the bird there. He turned around and said “you said I had to leave, not my bird!”. The employee told him she was calling security if he didn’t take his bird and immediately leave. He picked up his bird, and told her he was going to the cops to report them for discrimination since he needed his service animal, and they were not allowing him to have it with him. It was by FAR one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. I felt bad for the poor parrot too, with an owner like that, who knows what kind of things that poor bird is subjected to on a day to day basis. And what medical reason could you possibly have that you need a service parrot for? Parrots are intelligent, but I have never heard of one being a service animal. That was a load of crap he told people to get into a store with his bird (I did some research out of pure curiosity after that, and I guess if you say it’s a service animal, a store can’t ask any further questions and must allow it in). I have a parrot myself, and he may occasionally in the summer ride down on my shoulder (in a harness for his safety) to the OUTDOOR flea market since he likes people. But good god, I would never dream of bringing him into a store, let alone a store that sells food!

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03.15.

Parking Lot Picnic

Let’s start by saying I loathe Wal-Mart. It takes an act of congress to get me near one…..or an act of my girlfriend. Anyhoo…..there are times that fate brings me our local store. Franticaly looking for a last minute gift late one evening, I find myself in a traffic jam in the store parking lot. Assuming someone had broke down in the middle of the lane, myself, as others started to drive around the obstacle that lay ahead. As I neared, slowly, the scenario started to attack my synapses.

There, in the middle of the lane, was a man passing out fried chicken to his extremley large family. They were all gathered around the shopping cart like flies to…..well, you know. They were having a friggin’ picnic in the parking lot at Wal-Mart…..at night.

Had this behavior been displayed in the parking lot of our local Target or Kohls, I would have been surprised. But sadly, I was not surprised to see it at our local Wal-Mart. These folks paid no more mind to the traffic avoiding them then they did to sound judgment. I must admit, instead of being angry and cussing the family as most did while driving by them, I found a great amount of jest in the situation.

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03.12.

Poppin’ Pills

When I worked at wal-mart, there was this understanding that if cold pills somehow got past our registers and we didn’t card, we would get fired. This included computer errors.

So a woman comes up to the register with a box of cold pills. I ring up the purchase, but it doesn’t ask for any age verification. When I explain to her that I need a manager to okay the purchace because of an age thing, she said “There’s a minimum age for that?”

So I turn out the light and continue to wait or about 7 minutes or so for a CSM to come by. During this time, we talk about the product. (What else am I going to discuss with her, the weather?)

“I’ve heard about this. It’s that new cold pill, right? It’s supposed to work pretty well. Do these ones still make you drowsy?”
-blank stare-

Well, she eventually tells me they were vaginal suppositories. I apologized, she walks off, and THEN the CSM walks up to nag about my light being off, and what I wanted.

Apparently every new cashier does this. It’s seen as a right of passage. I still feel really bad for her.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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