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02.24.

Watch Your Children

I was grocery shopping with my daughter & grandma at my local Walmart. My daughter was barely two at the time so she sat in the cart. I was going through the aisles when my grandma realized she forgot something so she left the aisle I was in. I went to grab something off the shelf (while taking my hands off the cart for a split second) when all of a sudden some guy grabbed my shoulder. In the creepiest voice imaginable he proceeded to tell me to keep close eye on my daughter because his was kidnapped that very same day. In complete shock all I could fathom was “I’m sorry” and tried to hurriedly get away from him. He then said he’d help “keep an eye out for me” and followed me the next two aisles. Once my grandma returned I whispered to her to get out of here, don’t ask any questions. I grabbed my daughter and left the cart full of stuff. I told my grandma the story in the car (she’s very naive) and she said “Maybe he was just warning you,” but I told her why would a guy who’s daughter was just kidnapped be trolling the aisles of Walmart?

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24 Comments Stories
02.15.

The Valentine’s Day Walmart Wedding

BRUNSWICK COUNTY, NC (WECT) – A lot of people are used to hearing, “Cleanup on aisle three,” at stores like Walmart, but not usually, “Wedding in the layaway section!”

But one area couple decided to do just that — they tied the knot at their local Walmart Tuesday.

For Wayne and the new Susan Brandenburg, everyday low prices have led to happily ever after.

“She was a cashier at the time,” said Wayne. “I kept coming through and seeing her…my [former] wife died seven years ago, and I asked [Susan] out. For some reason, she said yes and it went from there.”

They wanted to share their special moment with all their friends, and they wanted to do something different.

“I love him and I’m going to stay with him for a long, long time…” said Susan.

The couple plans to take their honeymoon when the weather warms up.

They’re hoping to spend it in the mountains.

Story courtesy of WECT.

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25 Comments Funny  //  North Carolina  //  Stories
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09.12.

The Country Music Fan

Local country fan Reginald Spears was arrested over the weekend for merchandise tampering at the new Super Walmart out on the bypass. The details of his infractions are unique, to say the least.

Third-shift electronics cashier Lena Johnston first noticed Spears rifling through the country CD section and filling a grocery cart with at least 100 discs before leaving the department. She thought he was just a rabid music fan until he returned 15 minutes later with the same cart and began slipping CDs back onto the shelves while looking around suspiciously.

Johnston walked over to Spears and asked if he’d decided not to make the massive music purchase. Spears responded “Yeah, yeah uh, yes ma’am” and began sweating profusely. He became spooked shortly afterwards and haphazardly threw the remainder of his CDs on the shelf before walking away. Johnston investigated the country section and noticed that it was full of unwrapped, well-worn CDs that Spears had apparently brought from his home. Spears was apprehended by security, mostly without incident, before leaving the store.

“I looked on the shelf and where Rascal Flatts was supposed to be, that scruffy looking man had put Flatt & Smugs or something like that… and where Taylor Swift had been, he’d replaced it with Tanya Tucker. I guess he’d stole all them new CDs and tried to replace ‘em with his old junk,” said a perplexed Johnston.

Fresh out on bail, Mr. Spears had a far different story. “I didn’t shoplift nothin’. I told the cops they could find all that country pop bullsh*t in the Rubbermaid garbage cans in home wares… where that crap belongs,” said Spears. “I was just trying to give the people around here some damn culture, so I brought my whole collection up here to give away for free. Of course, I’ve got it all ripped on my laptop. My alphabetizing skills might be lacking, but I ain’t stupid.”

“Can you believe they didn’t have a Jerry Reed CD in the whole god***n store?” he continued. “Well, for 15 shining minutes last Friday night, they did.”

The shoplifting charges against Spears were dropped but he still faces misdemeanor charges of mischief and merchandise tampering. For his part, Reginald is considering legal action against the store.

Spears explained: “They threw all my CDs in the dumpster and broke ‘em, them motherf***ers! I’m suing their asses for destruction of property and mental anguish. I was just trying to help this town out… I’m a by-God patriot!”

Walmart officials had no comment on the situation.

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05.20.

You’re Not My Dad!

So I’m walking through Walmart behind this guy and his son. The kid has to be about 6 or 7 tops. We’re walking past the toys section when the kid asks his dad if they can stop and look. The dad informs him nicely that they don’t have time for toys today. The kid continues to ask and beg loudly and I can tell the dad is getting frustrated. He grabs the kids arm, telling him no, and begins yanking him away from the toy aisle.

As if on cue the kid begins screaming, “Who are you? You’re not my dad! Let me go!”

People are staring, confused, wondering if they should do something. The dad turns red and drags his kid out of Walmart with a bunch of concerned customers and employees watching.

My only question is, where in the hell did this kid learn something like that?

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6 Comments Stories
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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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