Hey Wench, get off thee ass and pick up me ale so I may wet thy gullet and slay some dragons.
Judging by your posture and the “shirt” that you are wearing, I’m going to assume that your wife may have been confused when you said you went to the store to buy a few wife beaters and she then proceeded to beat you like the little bitch that you are.
Since it looks like the bikini you are rocking is actually your size, I can’t complain about too much here. Other than the fact that it is JANUARY and you live in OHIO and are shopping in WALMART, that outfit seems rather appropriate.
When what you’ve got going on there looks like an asscrack, put it away and never bring it out again.