It’s like that Fizzy Lifting Drink from Willy Wonka. Except it has the exact opposite effect on my penis in this instance. Nothing is rising over here.
When your child is dressed like more of an adult than you, something is severely wrong.
Middle-aged Mutant Ninja Sadness
My only hope is that when you bent down this low to get the good angle for this crack shot, somebody else got one of you from behind as well. Just a chain reaction of crack.