Walmart Fashion

Wet Paint


I will be the first to admit that I don’t pay attention to what new style of jeans are the cool new things. In fact, someone just told me my bedazzled jeans looked stupid, which was rude, but I’m still pretty confident the “shot by a bunch of white paintballs” isn’t something I’ll be seeing a lot of in the future.


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Pajama Party


Although you should change out of your pajamas to go shopping in public, you don’t have to take your jammies off to pre-order our book People of Walmart Shop & Awe!

New Hampshire

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For Hire


There are obviously too many sad, out of work clowns in America that have nothing better to do than hang out in Walmart, so right now I’m asking everyone to start hiring clowns to show up and perform at everything you do. Weddings, funerals, your liver transplant, lunch break at work, that psychology class you’re in, shoe shopping, fantasy drafts, and especially if you feel a really good BM coming on…..give ‘em some work people!


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