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08.20.

Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo

6637

When monkey business is the family business good luck getting your child not to fling his poop.

Florida

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Rating: 6.6/10 (72 votes cast)
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Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo, 6.6 out of 10 based on 72 ratings 25 Comments Animals  //  Featured Creature  //  Florida  //  Funny
  • CaptainCrankyDeux

    Typical white trash….

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  • Arnie Santos

    I wonder if he spanks his monkey?

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    • Messican

      Stop picking on Poopinator.

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    • morticia.marina

      If you had a monkey, you would jack it off.

      Take this how you will. <<< it's a little bad I had to write this for your sake because: "Hur Hur Hur lulz! I ALWAYS jack MY monkey. Masturbation. Lol." – Nope.

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      • Messican

        Hey Morticia, your comments are as retawded as Popinator. You must be his mistress.

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  • Arnie Santos

    I remember one time Popinator posted. This reminded me of that.

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    • CaptainCrankyDeux

      You think it was before or after he spanked his monkey.

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      • Arnie Santos

        Popinator is the monkey that gets spanked.

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        • CaptainCrankyDeux

          Actually his mom and sister the one’s spanking his monkey.

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          • morticia.marina

            I remember this one time when people when people had something better to do than whine about someone boring. This reminded me of that.

            #closetgayforpopinatorhaters

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          • CaptainCrankyDeux

            So you get off on retards. BFD.

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          • Arnie Santos

            I remember this one time one time when people with echolalia posted.This reminded me of that.This reminded me of that.

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  • Sejanus

    People bringing their pets into stores with open food is vile.

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    • toby

      they let other monkeys in

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  • Jen

    A family that monkeys around together, stays together.

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  • Anon Ymous

    Technically this isn’t a monkey, it’s a ring tailed lemur, but close enough I guess.

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  • Flooshing Rezident

    That’s a ring-tailed lemur from Madagascar – they’re not pets. This is despicable – those people should be in jail!

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  • LUVPLUMPTRAMPS

    You HAVE to google these things. For a start, “During mating season, male
    lemurs battle for dominance by trying to outstink each other. They cover their
    long tails with smelly secretions and wave them in the air to determine which
    animal is more powerful”, and “They have 2 long teeth on top that can rip and
    slash the flesh.” Oh yea, I want that on
    my sholder.

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    • morticia.marina

      Hey! How else is a normal human being supposed to display their need for attention and excess money?!

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    • Arnie Santos

      I doubt that they wash enough to notice the monkey’s smell.

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  • Popanator

    This one time i was at the zoo and a monkey took my glove! he wouldn’t give it back. this reminded me of that.

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    • Messican

      Did he also fling poo at you? You forgot that part.

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    • Captain Cuntstab

      why did you have a condom at the zoo anyway? looking for the sheep/goat display?

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  • Robert Wills

    When I was a kid- about 10 or so- we were in a K-Mart, the whole family was out for some shopping!
    The K-Mart there in Orlando had a HUGE pet section. There were always birds flying around the store that had gotten out of the cages. Well this one day, they had a spider monkey on a perch. My brother and I went nuts “We want a monkey!! Get us a monkey! Monkeeey!”

    So the pet section dude comes over and start making his pitch. It’s a good one too: “Friendly and clean, it’s a fun pet with great personality. Blah, blah, blah.”

    Once he’s done, my Dad takes it from the guy and just as he says “Does it bite?” The thing CHOMPS down on my Dad’s thumb. Blood spurts everywhere. Dad drops the monkey, who then scurries back up to its perch. My Dad has his free hand wrapped around his thumb and blood is pouring out of it. My Dad’s a retired Airforce Master Sergeant, so real calm-like he says “I think I need a bandage or something.”

    The guy panics and says “Let’s go to the manager’s office! There’s a first aid kit there!”

    So he and my Dad walk off, leaving a trail of blood.

    I turn to my Mom and I say “Are we still getting the monkey?”

    She pops me on the head hard. Really hard. So hard I still remember at 47 that it was hard, and that was 37(ish) years ago.

    We didn’t get the monkey.

    That’s my favorite family story with my Dad.

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  • roguewarrior1957

    “Marmoset there’ll be days like this…There’ll be days like this, my marmoset…”

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