I passed out from the amount of obvious jokes that instantly rushed to my brain. Therefore, I will just let you list them for me in your comments. Have fun.
I live in Honolulu where it is no secret we have a little bit of a meth problem. I was at Walmart buying shampoo when a woman wearing black leggings and an over sized t-shirt that said “Boss” inside a giant letter “E” approached me and explained to me how she was infertile. She then continued to ask me if I might be interested in donating some of my eggs to her because her and her husband. “I Really want to have blonde babies.” I apologized and said I wasn’t a natural blonde as I backed away.
Eggplants love tuna. It’s why they grow so much. That’s a fact.
Ok so I was with a couple of my friends and we were in the bathroom. We’re talking between the stalls like girls do, and we hear this voice. “Girls, can you help me?” I came out of the stall and while washing my hands, asked what the problem was. The lady in the end stall says, “I need help. I went to the bathroom and now I need help. Can you give me some paper towels with warm water and soap?” As I’m getting the paper towels for her, I hear the stall door open. Yep. There she stands, pants around her ankles, shirt up over the boobs. My friends and I were in shock!! I tried to hand her the paper towels so I could get the heck out of there and she says, “No, I need YOU to wipe it.”. Now, I was a pre-med student at the time, so I was trying to be level headed and calm. I explained to the lady that I could not do that for her; that it was unsafe for her AND for me. She didn’t get it. She simply said that she couldn’t reach and needed help. She was a bigger woman, in case you haven’t guessed. By this time a clerk came in and the lady asked HER to do it. The clerk said that her job description did not include wiping asses. Then we tried to locate her family members, but she said they had dropped her off and were coming back to pick her up later. Once we convinced her that we were NOT going to wipe her ass, she just says, “Well can you check to see if I got it all?” She then proceeded to turn around to show us her ass. At this point, we were done and walked out without looking back. Unbelievable!