It seems like you just started adding random things to that list. Midgets and DSL make you hard? Really?!
There should be an application process in order to procreate.
I don’t know many 20 year olds who have the balls to rock that hat let alone someone who (1) is out to pick up Werther’s Originals, (2) knits, and (3) watches Murder She Wrote.
It’s like a really easy Highlights magazine photo hunt.