I used to work at Walmart, and there was this older woman who would come in once or twice a week, dressed to the nines like she was headed to church. She always wore these bright colored skirt suits with matching, bizzare hats. She’d get a cart and walk around the store shopping for different items to go along with these stories she made up (like going on vacation to Jamaica) and when her cart was full, she’d put everything back exactly as she found it, put her cart away and leave, without ever buying a single item.
It was the first week of January, about 2 or 3 years ago, I had to make a return at Walmart of some garbage gift someone gave me and while I waited on a long return line I noticed 3 different people returning artificial Christmas trees. First I thought, “these trees must be poorly made and a lot of people had trouble with them.” Then I realized, if you bought a bad Chrsitmas tree, you would immediatley return it to ge a new one. If not, you have no tree for Christmas… Right?
Just then that little light went off above my head…. These people just took down their trees and returned them!!! They basically borrowed their Christmas tree from Walmart and now that it was time to take down the decorations, they brought them back for a full refund. What kind of trash pulls a stunt like that? Walmart shoppers!
Your first move should be checking that backpack for a pair of underwear. If there are none in there, well you’re at a store that sells underwear. Problem solved. I would move on to pants but I don’t want to get too far ahead for you, and it seems like if there is more than one thing going on you get confused and lose concentration.
You look like you’re trying way too hard to get written into a Twilight book or something.