May 3rd, 2012
I feel like you just came out of a big bag of Skittles.
October 22nd, 2010
Well, it’s my birthday today so this is more of a message to those people close enough to me that are having trouble thinking of a gift for me….
June 14th, 2011
Looks like you fell from your family tree & hit every branch on the way down!
December 12th, 2009
Dear creepy hipster, there is currently a cold hooker that would appreciate you returning her coat.