I have no problem with PDA, but there are limits. I was shopping in the produce section one day when I looked over and saw two girls making out…tongues, caressing, the whole bit. I went over and told them they were being rude to other people. One turned to me immediately and barked, “Fuck you! You just hate gays!” I couldn’t help but start laughing at her because I could tell that they had been looking for this sort of reaction. I told her that I had no problem with gays but that no one wanted to see two bull dyke lesbians, or anyone else for that matter, making out and groping each other while they’re trying to shop. She stuck her middle finger right in my face then turned around to continue the make out session. It wasn’t very long before they were asked to leave.
Is that a muzzle? Are you wearing some weird human muzzle so you don’t bite me? I mean, you look like the weird kid in gym class wrestling, but I’m pretty sure that is a preemptive measure taken so you don’t bite me.
One busy Saturday afternoon, I was in the Express Lane just grabbing a few items. This particular register was also the only place to buy cigarettes. I was next in line and a young guy walked up to me and asked if he could cut. “I just need one pack of cigarettes,” he told me. I said sure, thinking it would only take him a minute but save him from having to go to the back of a rapidly growing line. I thought I was just making a nice gesture.
This guy proceeds to pay for his TWO packs of cigarettes with dimes and nickels from a ziploc baggie. At this point, I realize this dude is drunk. He’s counting painfully slow, slurring his words, and swaying. People behind me begin voicing their aggravation and I feel awful because my nice gesture has turned against me. “Drunk Guy” has been counting out money for a solid 5 minutes. Trying to speed Drunk Guy up, I ask the cashier how much more he needs and hand her the remaining $.50.
As I finally check-out, Drunk Guy starts looking at the magazines next to the register. He comes up to me with People and asks if I’ll throw it in with my stuff for him and pay for it too. I said, “No way,” and an angry guy behind me tells him to “just walk away.” Drunk Guy slowly swayed away. I mumbled a sorry to the people behind me as I quickly ran out of there.
Grandma, I’m so confused. The custom applied rainbow and unicorn scream that on the other side is a pleasant elderly lady, but the jean jacket screams I smoke Pall Mall unfiltered cigarettes at Molly Hatchet concerts.