A Neon Glow

So there I was a 30-something woman checking out the condom aisle. I decided to pick up a box of neon green condoms and was supposed to feel like nothing was there.  I plopped the neon green box into my cart and finished shopping.

I got everything all checked out, had my bags in hand, and THOUGHT I was on my way out of the store. I was walking out the door and the security alarm goes off. This 80 year old greeter/security guard comes over and asks to see my bags and receipt. After cringing, I gave him the receipt and he starts to rustle around in my bags.

He pulls out the neon green box of condoms and starts waving it around. Which person rang you up? I had no idea and just wanted to die. He kept waving the box around and telling me how the people are supposed to deactivate the alarm sensor in the box and he’s tired of having to correct them. By now a small crowd had started to form. Good times.

All while I am in my business suit and just wishing for sweet death to take me away.

He storms off in a huff to deactivate the sensor. I think someone must have told him what the box was because he brought it back to me in a bag and tried to hand it to me so no one would notice.

I had about eight people standing around me with looks of pity and hilarity the entire time it happened. They actually stayed to the end. I thought they were going to applaud me when I finally left. They were too busy laughing.

I haven’t been back to that Wal-Mart since.

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A Neon Glow, 8.6 out of 10 based on 18 ratings
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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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