Car Problems

Ten years ago, Christmas time, my daughter & were leaving Walmart. I was standing just off the curb, behind a car, waiting to cross to the parking lot. Suddenly, I felt something against my leg, looked to see a car! A woman was backing her car into me. I yelled, but the car pressed until my leg started to give. I slammed my hand down on the trunk. Instant brake lights. A woman gets out of the car in all her Walmart glory– femme mullet, cigarette dangling from her lip, and yes, A TANK TOP IN DECEMBER!!!! The woman looked like she’d won Dive Bar Hag of the Decade.

She yells at me, “Why the fuck’d you hit my car?”

“Because you were backing into me!”

“Maybe you should watch where the fuck you’re goin’!”

I explained to her, louder and louder, that I was just standing there, but she didn’t buy it. Probably too busy thinking about the Travis Tritt CD she was missing in the Redneckmobile.

Finally, she said, “If you don’t wanna get hit you shouldn’t stand there, asshole.”

I snapped the rest of the way. I dropped my bags, took a step toward her and yelled, “I will whip your ass. Fuck you, you fat bitch!”

She got wide eyed, jumped back in the car and sped off. Insult to injury, everyone in the parking lot looked at me like I’d just been murdering fuzzy puppies.

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: 7.4/10 (25 votes cast)
VN:F [1.9.22_1171]
Rating: +2 (from 6 votes)
Car Problems, 7.4 out of 10 based on 25 ratings

Tags: ,

Leave a Reply


People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

Three Ring Blogs