You know what, bird is not the word. The word is asshole. You are an asshole.
What the shit? That thing is gigantic. Ignoring the fact that a raccoon is chilling on your shoulder like you’re the weirdest pirate of all time, that thing looks like it could take down a adult deer.
To be fair, this is exactly who I’d expect to be carrying a raccoon around Walmart in the middle of the day.
At least this dude is smart enough to have a mask on, everybody else in the store getting some sort of disease. Mark that down. Damn outbreak monkey.