I’m not even gonna say anything bad here. Can you even grasp how awesome it would be walking into Walmart and seeing a moon-bounce? Parents could ignore their kids and shop in peace for a while and kids can have fun in a moon-bounce until they eventually run through the store crying and searching for their parents because I may or may not sneak into the moon-bounce and knock them through the mesh door flap and into a rack of clothes.
Hey Cyndi Lauper, weren’t you just on Celebrity Apprentice? Using the term “celebrity” pretty loosely, but regardless you still look outdated and bat-shit crazy.
At first I was like “What’s with the 3-foot pigtails?”, then I realized your cats probably like to bat them around and you just can’t bring yourself to take anything away that amuses old Whiskers and his friends.
Does he also love unoriginal joke shirts? What are his feelings on bags-o-douche wearing fedoras? Is he pro or con tats and a spike through the lip that scream for attention? Get back to me on those.