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03.06.

The Coupon Killer

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A Florida woman is in jail on charges she threatened Walmart workers with a gun after the store refused her internet dollar-off coupon.

Mary Frances Alday of Crawfordville, near Tallahassee, was arrested Friday and charged with four counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and one count of battery, for allegedly ramming an assistant manager with a shopping cart. She was also charged with resisting arrest and battery of an officer, according to the arrest report.

The Wakulla County Sheriff’s news release says Alday is 61 years old, but the arrest report states she was born in June 1961, which would make her 51.

Alday became “extremely upset” that the Crawfordville Walmart would not accept her coupon and continued to “verbally abuse” the assistant manager while being escorted out, the deputy’s report says. When the supervisor said she was going to take down Alday’s license plate number, Alday replied, “If you follow me, I have something in my car for you.”

She then emerged from her 2011 Ford Escape SUV with a holstered handgun that she began waving at four employees, who went back inside “due to being in fear for their lives,” the arrest reports says. She then backed out of the parking lot and fled.

A sheriff’s detective soon stopped Alday and was joined by a deputy, who asked Alday if she had a gun. “Yes, I have a concealed weapons permit, and you are not taking my gun,” the arrest report states.

Alday refused to get out of her vehicle, and the deputy twice stunned her with his Taser after she reached toward the passenger seat and continued to struggle. The deputies then pulled her from the SUV and handcuffed her.

The gun — a loaded Smith & Wesson .38 Airweight — was found in the center console.

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04.02.

Lettuce Check For Stool

I was wandering toward the produce when I experienced a typical Walmart moment. The customer I spotted looked like so many others that I have seen on this site. She was probably in her mid-to-late 50s, and she gave off that obvious vibe of someone whose primary residence sits on cinder blocks or wheels. Modified power-mullet? Check. Tank top with no bra? Check. Shorts and flip-flops even though it was a frosty 37 degrees outside? Check and check. And what was she doing? Why, she was using the shopping cart as a makeshift platform on which to change a toddler’s dirty diaper. She has yet to see me, which partially explains what happened next. After dropping the used diaper/naps bundle to the floor and kicking it aside, she then looked at her hand, noticed what had to have been some sort of poopy residue, reached over into the produce bin, and started to wipe her hand on a large head of lettuce.

Now I’m normally pretty non-confrontational, but after seeing this, I just blurted out “Oh come on! What are you, an animal!?” She turned to look at me, and for a split-second I saw it in her eyes: she knew that she had really crossed over a line, and she also knew that she had been stone-cold busted. But like I said, this look only lasted for a second. Her face then reverted to normal, and she told me to go fuck myself.

Ah yes, the classic rhetorical escalation uttered in countless WalMart arguments. She started to push her cart toward the front of the store, so I called out “I’m going to find a manager and tell him what you did!” Her reply? “I didn’t do anything [whips out cellphone], and I’m going to call the cops!” So that’s how the argument ended, both of us threatening to tell on each other.

A Walmart associate then came out of the receiving area, so I told her what had happened and, to her credit, she bagged up 2 or 3 heads of lettuce along with the diaper.

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03.11.

Happy Birthday Sprinkles!

On March 3, 2010, we were at Walmart ordering my daughter’s 18th birthday cake. The clerk took all the information. We decided that we wanted a gender neutral cake with no flowers or girly decorations, because my daughter wanted to share the cake with her friend since his birthday was 2 days after hers. While the clerk was verifying the details, the cake decorator came over and looked at the request. She said. ” Is this all you want on the cake?” I said, “Yes, just Happy 18th Birthday Taylor and Zach.” Then the decorator asked if we wanted sprinkles on the cake. My daughter said yes, because she didnt think that would be too girly. So the clerk wrote it on the order. On March 5th, I sent my husband to pick up the cake. He got it and was heading to the check out when he looked at the cake better and it read..”HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TAYLOR, ZACH AND SPRINKLES” He wondered who sprinkles was and if we had gotten a cat!!!! He returned to the cake counter and told them that the cake was wrong and they the attempted to remove “Sprinkles”, it left a big place in the icing that was very noticeable. The decorator then asked my husband if we wanted sprinkles on the cake to cover the place that they tried to fix. He told her that was what we wanted in the first place.

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01.30.

The Little Fire Hose

My cousin and I were standing next in line for checkout and were noticing the family checking out in front of us. There was an older woman, her teenage daughter and who I’m thinking was the baby’s daddy with their somewhat “bouncy” little boy sitting in the cart checking out. We weren’t paying them much attention until we just happened to notice the little boy suddenly sticks his legs straight out and liquid started shooting out towards us and hit the very end of our cart.

We backed the cart up quickly and watched in horror as a rather large puddle accumulated on the floor in front of us. As we tried to alert the people in front of us of the situation they proceeded to check out and when they finally understood that their son/grandson just urinated on the floor they looked at it and left.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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