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04.02.

Lettuce Check For Stool

I was wandering toward the produce when I experienced a typical Walmart moment. The customer I spotted looked like so many others that I have seen on this site. She was probably in her mid-to-late 50s, and she gave off that obvious vibe of someone whose primary residence sits on cinder blocks or wheels. Modified power-mullet? Check. Tank top with no bra? Check. Shorts and flip-flops even though it was a frosty 37 degrees outside? Check and check. And what was she doing? Why, she was using the shopping cart as a makeshift platform on which to change a toddler’s dirty diaper. She has yet to see me, which partially explains what happened next. After dropping the used diaper/naps bundle to the floor and kicking it aside, she then looked at her hand, noticed what had to have been some sort of poopy residue, reached over into the produce bin, and started to wipe her hand on a large head of lettuce.

Now I’m normally pretty non-confrontational, but after seeing this, I just blurted out “Oh come on! What are you, an animal!?” She turned to look at me, and for a split-second I saw it in her eyes: she knew that she had really crossed over a line, and she also knew that she had been stone-cold busted. But like I said, this look only lasted for a second. Her face then reverted to normal, and she told me to go fuck myself.

Ah yes, the classic rhetorical escalation uttered in countless WalMart arguments. She started to push her cart toward the front of the store, so I called out “I’m going to find a manager and tell him what you did!” Her reply? “I didn’t do anything [whips out cellphone], and I’m going to call the cops!” So that’s how the argument ended, both of us threatening to tell on each other.

A Walmart associate then came out of the receiving area, so I told her what had happened and, to her credit, she bagged up 2 or 3 heads of lettuce along with the diaper.

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03.06.

The Coupon Killer

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A Florida woman is in jail on charges she threatened Walmart workers with a gun after the store refused her internet dollar-off coupon.

Mary Frances Alday of Crawfordville, near Tallahassee, was arrested Friday and charged with four counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and one count of battery, for allegedly ramming an assistant manager with a shopping cart. She was also charged with resisting arrest and battery of an officer, according to the arrest report.

The Wakulla County Sheriff’s news release says Alday is 61 years old, but the arrest report states she was born in June 1961, which would make her 51.

Alday became “extremely upset” that the Crawfordville Walmart would not accept her coupon and continued to “verbally abuse” the assistant manager while being escorted out, the deputy’s report says. When the supervisor said she was going to take down Alday’s license plate number, Alday replied, “If you follow me, I have something in my car for you.”

She then emerged from her 2011 Ford Escape SUV with a holstered handgun that she began waving at four employees, who went back inside “due to being in fear for their lives,” the arrest reports says. She then backed out of the parking lot and fled.

A sheriff’s detective soon stopped Alday and was joined by a deputy, who asked Alday if she had a gun. “Yes, I have a concealed weapons permit, and you are not taking my gun,” the arrest report states.

Alday refused to get out of her vehicle, and the deputy twice stunned her with his Taser after she reached toward the passenger seat and continued to struggle. The deputies then pulled her from the SUV and handcuffed her.

The gun — a loaded Smith & Wesson .38 Airweight — was found in the center console.

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01.16.

Help!

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CITRUS HEIGHTS- A Walmart employee is hoping to reunite a child with the incredible book of rules that they wrote.

“Don’t get into other people’s business. Don’t call each other names. Clean up your messes. No eating other people’s food. One hundred eighteen is don’t keep saying please if someone says no. I like that,” said Raymond Flores as he reads off the kind of advice you might snatch up in the self-help section at Barnes & Noble.

“One hundred twelve is to try to make things fair,” reads Flores.

But these life lessons came to Walmart employee Flores at work, as he scanned the lot of his Citrus Heights store for empty carts.

“There really wasn’t much out there and I saw this book sitting in a parking spot, so I thought I’d pick it up and check it out,” said Flores.

After flipping through these little pages, Flores quickly realized he’d found something too special to be tossed.

“Rule number 154 was to protect this book,” he read.

Following the lead of the young author and Batman, one of his superhero idols, he wants to find the rightful owner.

“They put a lot of hard work into it. These rules mean a lot to them and probably to the parents, as well,” he said.

While it’s obvious the more trained hand of a parent wrote down several of the rules, page turning reveals words and wisdom penned by a little person.

“Ware (sic) your seatbelt.”

“Resicle (sic)”

“One of them is go to bed early if you have dance in the morning. That applies to more than just dance. If you have work, school, anything important; just prioritize,” Flores said.

“Put your shoes by the front door when you take them off,” he reads that line as he looks over at his own shoes piled by a doorway.

Other listed ‘rules’ to live by that appear to have come from a child, speak across years they’ve yet to live.

“Don’t leave your friends behind and no texting and driving at the same time,” Flores read.

The other reason’s he’s so interested in getting the book back to it’s author, is that it’s clear rule 158 was in progress when the book was lost.”

“I thought this was adorable. I just thought it was really nice and stuff. What kind of kid does this,” he said.

Flores can’t wait to find out.

He’s hoping this story reaches the book’s owner and it can be returned.

One the rules that might stand out the most: Don’t bite the dentist.

If you’re the author or connected to the child who is, Flores is asking you to email FOX40′s Sonseeahray Tonsall at [email protected]

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02.08.

If I Can’t Have ‘Em, Then Nobody Can

I used to be a customer service manager at Walmart. There were a lot of people that would come in and use the electric carts and try to take off without paying for their stuff. Well there was one woman who took it to the next level by sitting on the stuff she was trying to steal. She was a large woman. When she went through the doors and the alarm went off, the door greeter stopped her and asked her to get up. She proceded to urinate on the items she had stashed under her butt.

She was arrested.

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People of Walmart - Funny Photos Of Walmart Shoppers - Humor Blog

People of Walmart is a humor blog that depicts the many customers of Walmart stores across the United States and Canada. Through funny photos and videos, People of Walmart is an entertainment blog in the Three Ring Blogs network that features over 30 of the funniest humor blogs on the internet. Walmart is the largest retail store in the United States and has millions of people visit stores each day wearing anything but proper attire. Hello Flippa.

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