Honey Nut Cheerios

I used to work in the grocery department stocking shelves and whatnot, and I would always see this guy in a raggy flannel shirt and even raggier jeans walking around always with someone escorting him. He would always walk by and stare at me with the eeriest smile I’ve ever seen.

Well one day I was stocking the cereal aisle and he happened to wander on through, this time all alone (he must’ve escaped from the asylum that day). He started out by asking me, in a very slurred manner, if there were anymore of some kind of rice flake cereal. Not knowing what the hell he was talking about or wanting to go check and see I said, “Nope we’re all out of that one.”

He seemed to be a little distressed about this but he kept that creepy smile on, and then went on a tangent about how that cereal is the only kind he will eat because it is the only one that has not swapped out its sugar for honey. I just listened very calmly and smiled. He then proclaimed that all cereal companies are using honey instead of sugar in an act to give us all cancer and kill us. He claimed that god had told him to avoid the honey and only eat the “healthier cereal”. Then he went on to say that all this honey business will inevitably lead to the holy rapture and God will come down and save the select few who believe and leave the others (I guess meaning the honey eaters) to be taken in the apocalypse by demons and such.

He then proclaimed it was my duty to bring this honey issue up at my employee meetings (which I never go to, but after this instance I seriously thought about it) and try to persuade everyone to not buy the cereal containing honey. So I obliged (because I did not really want to be stabbed by a crazy religious nut) and told him; “Oh, I definitely will.” and he just shrugged and continued to shuffle about the rest of the store. I continued to see him from time to time, never alone again, and he would always stop and say something but I would try to look busy and get the hell away from him.

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