I was shopping with my girlfriend and had to piss. I go into the bathroom and start pissing in one of the urinals. A dude was in the stall next to me. He was shitting. Very loudly. While he shat, he laughed hysterically and yelled:
Dude: “You like that, Garret? AHAHAHA!!! You like it?!!!”
Kids voice: “Yeah, daddy! More!”
Dude: “Here it comes…”
Kid: “HAHAHA!!! MORE!”
*SHIT PLOPPING IN WATER*
After I finished peeing, I backed up to see under the stall and saw the legs of a man sitting on the toilet and the feet of a child standing, facing the man. I guess it’s a game they play?
This was several years ago, when I went to Walmart with my mom. We were browsing through the clothes and I actually found a few things I wanted to try on. When I walked over to the fitting rooms in front of me there is another customer asking to use the ladies fitting room holding several bras. Now this person is rather obese, hair cut very short, and even has the lovely female mustache that we see all too often at Walmart. She asks to use the fitting room, the Walmart associate looks at her in shock and says: “Not in the ladies room your not, you have to go to the mens fitting room over there.” Well lets just say some tears were shed and a unhappy relative comes over and politely informs the clerk of her mistake. I was in complete shock and felt so bad for the woman!
So I’m standing in line, and the guy in front of me is buying a 10 gallon fish tank, a desk lamp, a black light bulb, and a big bag of potting soil. The cashier rings it all up and says, “So, what are you going to be growing?” The guy looks a little bit puzzled that she even asked and he thought for a minute and said, “Damn I forgot the tomato seeds…” I looked at him and chuckled and said “You know damn good and well you’re not about to use all of this stuff to grow some damn tomatoes!” He looked at me with a look of terror like ‘damn they know what I’m up to’. He paid for his stuff and walked out.
I used to work at Walmart, and there was this older woman who would come in once or twice a week, dressed to the nines like she was headed to church. She always wore these bright colored skirt suits with matching, bizzare hats. She’d get a cart and walk around the store shopping for different items to go along with these stories she made up (like going on vacation to Jamaica) and when her cart was full, she’d put everything back exactly as she found it, put her cart away and leave, without ever buying a single item.